“Damned Dirty Ape” Is Now

Punishable as “hate speech”

MADRID (Reuters) – Spain’s parliament voiced its support on Wednesday for the rights of great apes to life and freedom in what will apparently be the first time any national legislature has called for such rights for non-humans.
Parliament’s environmental committee approved resolutions urging Spain to comply with the Great Apes Project, devised by scientists and philosophers who say our closest genetic relatives deserve rights hitherto limited to humans.
“This is a historic day in the struggle for animal rights and in defense of our evolutionary comrades, which will doubtless go down in the history of humanity,” said Pedro Pozas, Spanish director of the Great Apes Project, “Plus, I’ve got my eye on this fine orang-utan for awhile now; she is fumando, amigo.”
“This is a wonderful day ooh-ooh-ooh,” said Simian Prehensile, as he sat in Madrid’s famed Plaza de la Banana enjoying a government-subsidized grooming, “It’s time for us to come out of the trees and take our rightful place as complete dependents in society.”

California was expected to quickly recognize “evolutionary comrade” unions.

7 Responses to ““Damned Dirty Ape” Is Now”

  1. Interesting. That organization was founded by Peter Singer, who apparently believes that apes have more rights than retarded children.

  2. Mr. Bingley says:

    He also seems to be a proponent of “zoophilia”, so I’m sure he’s got some cuties on his “evolutionary comrade” list as well.

  3. The_Real_JeffS says:

    Well, the Spanish could always elect a chimp as their prime minister. That would be an improvement over Zapatero.

  4. Kate P says:

    Well, Grape Ape was a wonderful Hanna-Barbera cartoon, so- What? The name is Great Apes? Oh. Never mind!

  5. ricki says:

    Please tell me that “zoophilia” doesn’t mean what I suspect it means….ew.

  6. The_Real_JeffS says:

    Peter Singer is involved, ricki…..that automatically generates an “ew” from rational people.

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