Don’t Drink Italian Spring Water…
If you’re subject to random drug tests:
The rivers of Italy are flowing with cocaine, say scientists who have adopted a new approach to measuring the extent of drug misuse. The biggest river, the Po, carries the equivalent of about 4kg (8lb 13oz) of the drug a day…Cocaine users among the five million people who live in the Po River basin in northern Italy consume the drug and excrete its metabolic by-product, benzoylecgonine (BE). This goes from sewers into the river. So a team led by Dr Ettore Zuccato, of the Mario Negri Institute for Pharmacological Research in Milan, estimated the use of cocaine by testing the waters of the Po for BE, and for any cocaine that had passed through the body unaltered or reached the sewers in other ways.
This is river pollution! It must be stopped! Now, I know that very important celebrities like Alec Baldwin are very concerned about the environment. I’m sure he will lobby for very harsh punishments for cocaine use to protect our precious rivers…won’t he?
I think you have single-handedly saved the Italian tourist industry and made Hollywood a ghost town.
And I think Alec Baldwin should quit pooping in the pool. Just because it was funny in ‘Caddyshack’ doesn’t mean it’s really o-kay.