For Susanna and Miss Emily

…it’s never too late to celebrate Mardi Gras in a classy and refined manner, while collecting your beads without embarrassing your family at some later date.

That’s how one does it in the South. Pearls are for reserved for church, debutante balls, the odd Cotillion and tea with the senior Mrs. Bush. (“Laissez les bons temps rouler” is a state of grace, not of mind.)

10 Responses to “For Susanna and Miss Emily”

  1. The_Real_JeffS says:

    As silly as that photo is, it’s a lot safer for the eyes than those Satanic images of Davy Hackellgack that you insist on assaulting us with.

  2. Mike Rentner says:

    I used to have a boston terrier as a kid. Oh, the indignity that these people have foisted on this poor animal.

  3. Susanna says:

    My, that is a handsome and cheerful animal!
    (Mike, my husband would agree with you entirely. The sooner we can have a female French bulldog puppy for me to festoon with pearls and other jewels, the better.)

  4. I don’t think he’d look quite so happy if he objected, Mike.
    And I adore French bulldogs, Susanna. They have such alien little faces ~ one of the sweetest, wildest looking dogs ever. As far as dressing up, my labs have always been the clothes hounds in the family. Our first used to wear polo shirts ~ his favorite was a red and yellow striped number that had him looking like a member of Jack Sparrow’s crew. Schmacks was bereft without his neckerchiefs and had quite a collection. Our first Scottie loved hers, too. Our second Scottie, however ~ the petite Princess I was looking forward to buying things for ~ is an absolute wildchild. Can’t abide a THING around her neck and only tolerates her raincoat for it’s function. Breaks my heart. Ozzie, on the other hand, is content to let me dress him up, but then he’s Mr. Happy Pants about pretty much everything.

  5. Susanna says:

    We’d also name her something like “Poubelle,” which means “garbage can,” but sounds fancy. I’m told it also can mean little sh*t, which is just fantastic. Because then the ignorant will think it’s a wonderful, pretty French name. Along with all the other wonderful, pretty French things with which they are familiar: French dressing, French toast, French fries, Perrier, etc. (Or possibly Babette… that’s another good name that borders on the tawdry.)
    But yes, when the pearls or collar or kerchiefs come out of the Pug dress-up cabinet, Linus rushes towards me and crashes into my shins and claws at me until I pretty him up a little. And little Nixon opens one from his Puggish perch upon the couch and awaits his destiny with dignity.

  6. Mike Rentner says:

    THS, you misunderstand the grimace on that poor animal for a smile. The curve of the jowls is natural and cannot be avoided. If this poor, maligned beast weren’t suffering such an indignity, its mouth would be open, its eyes would be brighter, and its ears wouldn’t be pricked back like its about to tear the nose off of anyone who so much as dares to say “koochy koo.”
    Coming from bulldog stock, bostons love to bite noses. It makes them think they’re big and mean enough to take on a bull. It’s good for their morale to allow it occasionally.

  7. Susanna says:

    Mike, allow THS and I to anthropomorphize, m’kay?
    Our small lives have been reduced to dressing up dogs, giggling at photos of dogs in Mardi Gras goodness, talking of the joy it brings our little preciousnesses when we outfit them in jewels…
    Just be glad we haven’t entered the Red Hat/Purple Dress Club phase yet.
    (though I think there’s a bottle of Drano with my name on it if that ever happens)

  8. Just be glad we haven’t entered the Red Hat/Purple Dress Club phase yet.
    They swarm like flies around here. It’s terrifying.

  9. Mike Rentner says:

    From one of the articles on . . .
    “Predatory behavior is easy to recognize if you know what you are looking at. Unfortunately most people don’t. An animal displaying predatory behavior will not be growling or raising it’s hackles ( this is social aggression, which is directed towards another canine or human.) The animal will typically look “happy” and excited. It will be quite focused on it’s ‘prey’ and usually has it’s ears pricked forward. I have many times in zoos and such heard the parents of children who were being stalked by the wolves on display say things like ‘… look, the wolf likes you…’ The wolf ‘likes’ the child, but not in a manner with which the parent may be comfortable! I have seen many hybrids whose oblivious owners were not aware their animals were stalking children.”

  10. Mike Rentner says:

    Dogs are gray wolves. Genetically, they have determined that there is a 0.2% difference, hardly measureable, between gray wolves and domestic dogs, whereas there is a 4% difference between wolves and coyotes, their other closest relative. Taxonomists have declared the dog and the gray wolf to be the same species and no longer call the dog canis lupis familiaris, and call it simply canis lupis.
    So I ask you, would you dress up a ferocious wolf in such a ridiculous costume? No. The poor animals have rights. I think I’ll petition the UN to establish a Canid Rights Commission to prevent such disgraceful and denigrating behavior towards all dogs.

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