Gaia Under Threat From Super-Sized Monster

No, not the Russkie Comet; we’re talking the biggest, baddest monster of them all, one who is “eating the Earth”:

The population of the United States will pass 300 million today, or tomorrow. No one knows exactly where, no one know precisely when. It is a milestone for sure but is this a cause for celebration or anxiety?
Some American commentators are already saying the landmark is a chance to note the US is perhaps the only country in the developed world where the economy is being bolstered by a population that is growing at a discernable rate. But many experts say passing the 300 million milestone should be a wake-up call that demands a reappraisal of the extraordinary, unparalleled rate of consumption by the world’s largest economy and its third largest by population.
As an economic model for the rest of the world to follow – in particular the rapidly developing economies of China and India – it is unsustainable, they say.

They then list some helpful ‘facts’ that show how horrible the US is for the world, including this information which has convinced me, folks:

75 Life expectancy for men in the US. Women are expected to live until 80
63 Life expectancy for men in the developing world. Women are expected to live until 67

In the interest of Humanity, we ask that all Americans over the age of 65 kill themselves immediately.
You think I’m exaggerating the threat?
But consider this: the phrase “Soylent Green is people!” has exactly the same number of letters as the phrase “George Bush is Karl Rove.”
I thought you might find that…interesting.

6 Responses to “Gaia Under Threat From Super-Sized Monster”

  1. It also has the same number of letters as “the purple people eater”.
    And “Karl Rove is Sheb Wooley”.
    Coincidence? I think not.

  2. Mr. Bingley says:

    Be careful, Ken; such knowledge could be…dangerous to you.
    The Lancett has a new study out that shows 600,000 people in the US whose patriotism was questioned have disappeared into the AshKKKroftian GNOLs (Gulags North Of Lileks); I’d hate to see something happen to you.

  3. I’m far too dangerous for them to put me in a mere Canuck gulag. I’ll probably go to the GRTCFWMKKTSSFFDOTRAFML*. No one escapes from that hellhole.
    *Gulag Round The Corner From Wal-Mart, Kitty-Korner To Starbucks, Second Floor, First Door On The Right, Ask for Mary Lou

  4. Ooooh, GOD! SPIT out that green cracker!

  5. Nightfly says:

    Republicans are made of PEOPLE! PEEEEEEE-PLLLLLLLE!

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