Gitmo Chicken

I got this recipe from a dear friend of mine who is from Angola, so i guess it should be called Angolan Chicken. But when I saw what I was doing to the poor buzzard, all I could think of was Gitmo…
Anyhow, take a nice whole chicken and place it on your cutting board Pamela’s* down

And using poultry shears slice up one side of the spine

(I’m sorry about the blurry-ish photos; my camera and chicken-juiced hands was not a good combo)
and then snip up the other side until the spine comes out in your hands

Muwhahahahaha! I feel so eeevul holding a creature’s freshly detached backbone!
Anyhow, flip the spineless creature over and, using your palm in a very real and patriarchy-inspired manner squage the breastbone down with the heel of your palm and break the bugger so the spineless chicken lies more or less flat

Didn’t that feel good?
Now take a clove of peeled garlic
*er, um, that would be “breast’s down”

and rub it all over that naked little buzzard

Hell, take 2 or 3 cloves of garlic; the more the merrier
Flip it over and rub rub rub

Now generously sprinkle yon beastie with coarse sea salt on both sides and squeeze a lime or two over both sides as well

Flip it Pamela’s up and let it sit for an hour or so to marinate

Hmmm, what will I do with you, my pretty?

I’m sure I’ll think of something…
Now, I need to warn you that everything doesn’t always turn out spiffy here in Bingley Kitchens, due in large part to the fact that I tend to make up a lot of it as I go along, prodded, as always, by the ever-present fruit of the vine. But I am Manly Enough™ to admit my errors and deficiencies, and frying is one of them. I just don’t like to do it, and I hate how the house smells for days afterwards. So in that spirit of positive karma I proceeded to make the traditional side dish for this chicken, which is simply potato chips.
However, I thought I’d be swank and make both regular chips and sweet potato chips

The ice-water filled bowl is for the slices of spuds. Slice ’em thin and plop ’em in the water

Yammies too

I guess this helps stabilize the starches. Who knows. It’s weird but every recipe says do it for an hour or so so I did
While the spuds was chillin’ I decided to get the baste ready for the chicken. Take 4 tablespoons of butter and place it in a Pyrex bowl with a heaping tablespoon of red pepper flakes

and let them co-mingle in the steamy joys of Mr. Microwave

now get some peanut oil warming up in your cast iron skillet

Splop the chicken on the grill. I want to sear one side

and then the other and then reduce the heat under the buzzard as it cooks Pamela’s up

basting with the melted butter/pepper sauce occasionally

Notice the heat under the buzzard is turned down, whilst the heat in the un-occupied region of the grill is left on high. This cooks it most yummilly and reduces flare ups.
Meanwhile, back at the Greasy Spoon, carefully slide the spud slices into the 375º or so oil and fry away. I discovered that sweet potatoes cook way more quickly than regular spuds, which was a bit of a drag.

it’s really just a pain frying these things, and to me much more effort than they’re worth.
oh sure, the few I finished before I got bored were tasty enough when properly salted

but really for me not worth all the effort. So that’s the last frying you’ll see here for a long time.
Anyhow, by this point the chicken was looking mighty tasty

and the thermometer confirmed it was done to perfection, so onto the platter she went

and thence into our tummies. The lime/garlic/salt/butter/red pepper combination was absolutely yummy, and the chicken was as moist and flavorful as can be. Both Bride and Daughter agreed that the chicken was divine.
Next time I will make it with either grilled corn or mashed spuds as a side.
Eat up!

9 Responses to “Gitmo Chicken”

  1. WunderKraut says:

    Man, you have a way with the yard bird.

  2. Dave E. says:

    Looks great. Shouldn’t a beer can be involved somewhere though? Oh, wait…

  3. Suzette says:

    You need a Fry Daddy.
    I know where you can get one.

  4. Mr. Bingley says:

    hehehe, Suzette I want Sammi to like us when y’all come over, not search around for things he needs to repossess.

  5. Looks great. Here’s an even easier one that’s really good:
    Use a whole chicken. Stuff the cavity with three halved lemons and some chopped garlic. Rub some garlic on the outside and salt it if you like. Start the oven at 450, cut to 350 after about 15 minutes. Roast until done (about an hour and a half, depending on size) and the outside is browned prettily*.
    *Seriously, that expression is in a recipe we have.

  6. Mr. Bingley says:

    a brown-eyed handsome chicken, Ken?

  7. Well, you’d know better than I would.

  8. That fourth pic looks diosturbingly like the one I posted of Prince Freddy naked in the Avalanche. Of course, the one with the spine ripped out is applicable as well.
    On the sweet tater point ~ THESE are the BOMB.

  9. memomachine says:

    If it’s not beer-can chicken, it’s nothing.
    And where is the ketchup!?

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