…Really annoying is the woman who, as soon as she takes her place on the dining couch, praises Vergil, excuses Dido’s suicide, compares and ranks in critical order the various poets, and weighs Vergil and Homer on a pair of scales. Grammar teachers surrender, professors of rhetoric are defeated, the entire group of guests is silent; neither a lawyer nor an auctioneer nor even another woman will get a word in. So loud and shrill are her words that you might think pots were being banged together and bells were being rung…
Like a philosopher she defines ethics. If she wants to appear so learned and eloquent, she should shorten her tunic to midcalf! . . . Don’t marry a woman who speaks like an orator – or knows every history book. There should be some things in books which she doesn’t understand. I hate a woman who reads and rereads Palaemon’s treatise on grammar, who always obeys all the laws and rules of correct speech, who quotes verses I’ve never even heard of, moldy old stuff that a man shouldn’t worry about anyway. Let her correct the grammer of her stupid girfriend!
A husband should be allowed an occasional “I ain’t.”

An early version of “Care for some cheese…
…with that whine?”

2 Responses to “Heh”

  1. Mike Rentner says:

    Okay, I’ll bite. Who said that?

  2. That handsome bloke would be Juvenal, who was writing his ‘Satires’ during the reigns of Trajan and Hadrian.

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