He’s Been Charged With A Moooooving Violation

Thanks (I think) to our friend Real JeffS for pointing this out

Authorities announced Moorestown Officer Robert Melia Jr., 38, has been charged with four counts of animal cruelty after allegedly engaging in sex acts with cows between June and December of 2006.

Oh, that’s in addition to sexually assaulting three girls, naturally.
What the hell is up with some people, I just don’t know.
And I’m not really sure I want to find out.

18 Responses to “He’s Been Charged With A Moooooving Violation”

  1. Tainted Bill says:

    I can’t believe this happened in Jersey. The jokes about bestiality usually involve other states.

  2. Mr. Bingley says:

    In Jersey and with a Jersey, too.

  3. The_Real_JeffS says:

    De nada, Mr. Bingley. I thought maybe youse Joisy types were feeling a bit left out.
    But I have to wonder…..if he did it in Jersey, and with a Jersey, was he wearing a Jersey as well?

  4. nightfly says:

    So ferry ‘cross the Guernsey…
    (Sadly, I didn’t make that joke up, but it applies in a way that the MST3K folks never wished to contemplate.)

  5. Kate P says:

    Well, I’m udderly disgusted.

  6. Mr. Bingley says:

    Cud you do any better than that, Kate?

  7. Ebola says:

    Drop the candy and step away from the child…wait, is that a cow? Sir? Hey! Drop the hay and step away from the flatulant quadriped!

    Mr. Melia would like to shank all his supporters who he filets great love for. Mr. Melia feels that while the steaks were high, his methods were worthwhile. In other news, Miss Bessie will be behooved to wear black and white to his trial. PETA will no doubt be unhappy with the fact that she has choosen to wear fur.

  8. Leave it to my offspring to milk the sad situation for bovine puns.

  9. Ebola says:

    Sometimes you have to rib the situation a bit, mum. Especially considering how…horny, Mr. Melia must be.


  10. Dave E. says:

    Well, it looks like he will have plenty of time to ruminant about what he’s done.

  11. As Jed Clampett used to say, “Weeeellllll dogies”

  12. nightfly says:

    What this thread needs is a little more cowbell.

  13. Julie says:

    You’re going to need a bigger bovine.

  14. Mr. Bingley says:

    No more worshiping cloven images for me.

  15. Conspiracy theorists believe there has been an ee-ville, secret cowbell controlling our every move for heifer. I wouldn’t steer you wrong about that, honestly!

  16. Mr. Bingley says:

    A Cow-Rove-ian bell, perhaps?

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