Hey Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?

A quick word on gender inequality ~ same pay for the same job. Annika Sorenstam is a rampaging monster on the courses again this year; an immutable force of nature who just put away her third MacDonald’s LPGA CHAMPIONSHIP in a row. A feat roughly equivalent to Nicklaus and his green jackets. Sergio Garcia is a twitchy putz who makes doofy commercials. He managed to eke out a win Sunday at the always dangerous Booz Allen Classic and walked away with $900,000. The purse for Annika’s history making Major Championship? $270,000.
I’m so mad I’m molting.

25 Responses to “Hey Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?”

  1. Mr. Bingley says:

    1)You need more women playing golf, and thus buying golf equipment.
    2)You need more cute hetero-sexual women (like Annika) playing golf, and need to make the lesbian fugly battleaxes retire.
    Do those 2 things and the prizes will rise. The first is more important…but I’m a bit more partial to the second.

  2. Thanks. Now I have Gilbert Godfried’s irritating voice stuck in my head.

  3. Bingley ~ you are an insensitive pig.
    ShAsAM ~ you’re welcome. How awesome you caught that ~ sharp indeed!

  4. Mr. Bingley says:

    I’m not an insensitive pig. In fact, I am extremely sensitive to the pleasures of watching an attractive woman play golf as opposed to the non-pleasure of watching some beastly ex-gestapo guard play.

  5. The worst part is I can do GG’s voice quite well, and being that I have the entire Aladin movie memorized….. well, let’s just say I keep my 2 year old quite entertained.

  6. I’ve also just found a whiney, I-Hate-Tiger-like quote about Annika~
    “I don’t think it’s all that good if Annika is winning every week because it makes the rest of us look like we can’t play — and it’s just not true.”
    — Laura Davies on Annika Sorenstam’s third straight victory at the LPGA Championship and sixth win in eight events this season.

    Pissy monkeys. Like it’s her fault 99.9% of you roll over and die when she’s playing.

  7. I salute you and your lucky micro-unit! (My fortes are Marvin the Martian and Yoda ~ very alike, they are)

  8. Mr. Bingley says:

    I don’t know if they roll over and die or they just get their butts kicked. Much like Tiger, the younger-ish players need to raise the level of their game to hers, and the older generation simply can’t do it. Sure, they an play, but not as well.

  9. Oh, I can do Marvin perfectly as well as Bullwinkle. Unfortunately I can also do Barney to a point where I fool young kids.

  10. Mr. Bingley says:

    My fortes are Marvin the Martian and Yoda
    Funny, I thought your forties were basically over

  11. Nightfly says:

    Quick, hide the Illudium Q-36 Space Modulator… Ms. Sister is molting!
    I observe only that “equal work” is in this case in the eye of the casual golf fan. Annika hits off shorter tees and faces inferior competition – there’s a reason why she decided to play a couple of men’s events last year. Laura Davies and Juli Inskster can’t caddy Annika’s sports bra on a regular basis.

  12. Oh Fly, your chauvinist ‘oink’ is showing…

  13. Mr. Bingley says:

    I knew there was a reason I liked ‘Fly.

  14. Nightfly says:

    It’s got nothing to do with my porcine nature. I wouldn’t expect to be paid on a par with an NHL goaltender, even if I am one of the better ones in my own league. To use a strict technical term, I suck out loud compared with those guys.
    The gap for Annika is a lot smaller – small enough for her to jump across and compete. And I daresay that her endorsements and whatnot help close the gap, since she is tres chic marketable (partly for reasons Mr. Bingley has cited above). But do you think she’d win ten events a year on the men’s tour? Would she make every cut like Tiger did for six years or so?

  15. Mr. Bingley says:

    I would guess you’d get paid on par with what NHL goaltenders made this season, Nightfly.
    And you’d be worth every cent.

  16. Mr. Bingley says:

    And don’t think for a moment that your attempt to make ‘par’ jokes went unnoticed by the Powers That Be.

  17. Nightfly says:

    LOL, Bings…actually, I wouldn’t even this year, because I have to pay them to play in my league.
    That par joke was bad, any way you slice it.

  18. But do you think she’d win ten events a year on the men’s tour?
    No, but NONE of those guys does either, n’est pas? THAT’S what I’m talking about. Some schmuck like Sergio wins a weakly fielded Open tune-up (half the big names don’t go to those) and gets three times what she got for a major. Would Sergio have won in a regular week, like say the Buick? Schmaybe, bud I don thin so. He’s won six tournaments in SIX YEARS. He’s already up to $1,909,546 in 2005 earnings with one victory, an 8th, 10th and a 9th in matchplay for his best finishes. Annika has racked up $1,233,238 this year, which sounds like alot UNTIL you realize it’s for five wins from seven starts. The lower tier ladies are eating peeny buttah if they’re lucky. I’m not advocating the same winning scale, because you’re right, it’s not the exact same, and most assuredly doesn’t have the following the men do. But I think the miserly rewards are a disservice to the athletes.

  19. Nightfly says:

    Some schmuck like Sergio wins a weakly fielded Open tune-up (half the big names don’t go to those) and gets three times what she got for a major.
    I see your point. The scale shmaybe could be closer.
    My point with the “ten events a year” isn’t that none of the guys could do it on their own tour – there are many more of them crowding the top tier, so by nature one is quite unlikely to ever do it.
    Flip it around, picture the following “never gonna happen”: Ms. Sorenstam and Ms. Wei play a men’s event, and the two men whose places they’ve taken get to play a women’s event. Oy, the yowling. Or, let’s abolish separate tours, or run six mixed events, with women still hitting off the forward tees but otherwise the same. I fear having to say it, but the men would have the advantage.
    Unlike my po’ skinny civilian self in a running gun battle with Ms. Sister…

  20. Ken Summers says:

    True story (I think): Just a few years before he died, someone asked Mickey Mantle, “How much money do you think you’d be making of you were playing today”?
    Mantle said, “Probably about $600,000 a year”
    “But there are guys making millions”
    “Yeah, but I’m 60 years old”

  21. Mr. Bingley says:

    You’re facing the hook, ‘Fly! You know, I bet your favorite actor was Bogey…

  22. Nightfly says:

    “Rick! You’ve got to help me, Rick!”
    And my favorite musical was Bye Bye Birdie.

  23. Major Dad says:

    I think she’s driving the ball 286 yards on average. Pencil Neck anywhere near that?

  24. Fight! Fight!

    Tree Hugging Sister and I have this long-running feud of damned near four hours about which movie spawned the most great quotes. Bless her sweet pointy little head, the dear girl insists on quoting Monty Python and the Holy Grail….

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