Holy Sh*t! Does This Mean I Have to Dump

…my Illudium Pu-36 Explosive Space Modulator?!?!?

A Lakeland man has been arrested after authorities say he had a fake rocket launcher and a fake rocket projectile among his weapons arsenal.
The Polk County Sheriff’s Office says Hiram Angus Melvin was charged Wednesday with possession of…

a hoax weapon of mass destruction

That’s a whole new felony category to me, but my plastic Pu-36?
Outta my cold, dead fingers, guys…

3 Responses to “Holy Sh*t! Does This Mean I Have to Dump”

  1. Ebola says:

    I could see if maybe he was threatening or something with it. But a “hoax weapon of mass destruction”? Since when is a rocket launcher a WMD? Jesus, even having one in Grand Theft Auto 4 doesn’t give you WMD status, and that’s a fucking game. I can do more area damage with a truck than the average RPG round is going to do. What a crock of shit. Fucking pinko communists.

  2. Ebola says:

    Definition of a WMD according to US civil defense:(1) Any explosive, incendiary, poison gas, bomb, grenade, or rocket having a propellant charge of more than four ounces [113 g], missile having an explosive or incendiary charge of more than one-quarter ounce [7 g], or mine or device similar to the above. (2) Poison gas. (3) Any weapon involving a disease organism. (4) Any weapon that is designed to release radiation at a level dangerous to human life. This definition derives from US law, 18 U.S.C. Section 2332a[14] and the referenced 18 USC 921.[15] Indictments and convictions for possession and use of WMD such as truck bombs,[16] pipe bombs,[17] shoe bombs,[18] cactus needles coated with botulin toxin,[19] etc. have been obtained under 18 USC 2332a.

    I think our government might just be completely mentally retarded.

  3. Dave J says:

    Ebola, he wasn’t arrested by the feds, so your federal definition is irrelevant. Of course, the story is wrong when they say he was charged with this: law enforcement doesn’t formally “charge” people with anything, but rather it’ll be up to the State Attorney’s to decide whether to file charges. I suspect my counterparts up there will file something, but not what he was arrested for.
    Section 790.166 of the Florida Statutes provides, in pertinent part:

    (1) As used in this section, the term:

    (a) “Weapon of mass destruction” means:

    1. Any device or object that is designed or intended to cause death or serious bodily injury to any human or animal, or severe emotional or mental harm to any human, through the release, dissemination, or impact of toxic or poisonous chemicals, or their precursors;

    2. Any device or object involving a biological agent;

    3. Any device or object that is designed or intended to release radiation or radioactivity at a level dangerous to human or animal life; or

    4. Any biological agent, toxin, vector, or delivery system.

    (b) “Hoax weapon of mass destruction” means any device or object that by its design, construction, content, or characteristics appears to be or to contain, or is represented to be, constitute, or contain, a weapon of mass destruction as defined in this section, but which is, in fact, an inoperative facsimile, imitation, counterfeit, or representation of a weapon of mass destruction which does not meet the definition of a weapon of mass destruction or which does not actually contain or constitute a weapon, biological agent, toxin, vector, or delivery system prohibited by this section.

    I don’t think it meets this definition either.

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