I Feel a Protest Coming On.

What is it with these Wisconsin people and their guns? Kill, kill, kill…

Wis. considers legalizing cat hunting
MADISON, Wis. (AP)
Feline lovers holding pictures of cats, clutching stuffed animals and wearing whiskers faced-off against hundreds of hunters at meetings around Wisconsin to voice their opinion on whether to legalize cat hunting.

I’m sure in the hours before my flight to Madison I can rework something Joan Baez or Old Pete sang. Something expressing the anguish so evident in the words of the protestors.

One of the attendees was Katy Francis, who wore cat ears, whiskers, a cat nose and a sign that read, “Too Cute to Kill.” For Francis, “The cat hunting thing brought me out because it was very extreme.”

The BASTARDS! Hearts and minds people. Hearts and minds. Gearing up to lead the charge reminds me of my callow youth and my first great tree hugging crusade. When you’re young, you see eeeville and you know you can change the world.

“Good Lord – I’ve heard about this – cat juggling! Stop! Stop! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Good. Father, could there be a god that would let this happen?”

Yeah. Cat Juggling. Which leads, unless the filthy practice is obliterated as all men of good conscience know, inexorably to Kitty. Porn.
Oh yeah.
HELL yeah.
And you know it, Mr. Summers.
Even if you lack the intestinal fortitude to admit it.

18 Responses to “I Feel a Protest Coming On.”

  1. Ken Summers says:

    Kitty porn? Feh
    Cat juggling? Kid stuff
    But Cat Skeet – Now we’re onto something!

  2. Mr. Bingley says:

    There are too many pussies in Wisconsin, eh?

  3. The Real JeffS says:

    In honor of this occasion, I present..
    http://www.burstfilms.com/flash/Kitten_Cannon.html
    (Thanks to With Cheese! via Andrea Harris)
    PS: Sorry, I don’t know how do HTML links here…..

  4. Crusader says:

    “The Night we shot old Frisky down” could be you theme song, sung to that old Baez tune…
    Personally, I can think of a few dogs I would not mind using for target practice, but perhaps shooting the owners would be more useful.

  5. Mr. Bingley says:

    Where have all the kittens gone
    Target pra-ah-ctice
    where have all the kittens gone
    all blown away…

  6. Ken Summers says:

    “Look forrrrrr the kitty’s colllll-arrrrr…”

  7. Ken Summers says:

    “Imagine there’s no kitties, it’s easy if you try…”

  8. Crusader says:

    Or the Tom Jones classic”Shoot that Pussycat”….

  9. Ken Summers says:

    I didn’t know Tom Jones was a protest singer!

  10. Ken Summers says:

    “I’ve shot at cats with both sights now
    With peep and scope and still somehow
    I can’t seem to hit them worth a lick
    The little bastards mooooooove
    Toooooo quiiiiiick”

  11. Crusader says:

    I didn’t know Tom Jones was a protest singer!
    When it comes to cats he is….

  12. Mr. Bingley says:

    Goodbye wife, most dearest friend
    I’m off to hunt felines again
    Sure, killing cats protects wild birds
    But frankly I’m more concerned with stinking cat turds
    So if it’s fluffy or it’s cute I’ll be the one who shoots
    At Puss in Boots
    While dancing to the sound
    Of shotguns
    “Fools!” said I “You do not see
    There’s more to cats than meeow and pee!”
    Evil beasts they are there’s no denyin’
    Just read The Protocols of The Kittens of Zion
    But my words, like old kitty litter fell
    Just without the smell
    Muffled, by the sounds
    Of shotguns
    And the people bowed and prayed
    That every cat would be born spayed
    And the cats ceased with their licking and pawing
    And commenced anew with furniture clawing
    And the people cried “our freedom’s lying there, hidden deep inside some internet threads”
    Oh, and armed CheeseHeads
    Hunting to the sounds
    Of shotguns…

  13. Ken Summers says:

    Bingley, that was inspired! I’d doff my hat if I were wearing one.

  14. Mr. Bingley says:

    Thank you, kind sir!

  15. The Real JeffS says:

    Excellent, Mr. Bingley! Bravo!

  16. Nightfly says:

    Good stuff, Bings.
    But, heck, is it the cat’s fault that, even domesticated, it’s helluva tough? And fast! And it likes milk! It’s the Mr. T of nature…

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