I Hope They Made Sure God Was on Board With This

…before they paid for the info-mercial programming time.

“Have an Almighty Cleanse! Have a normal bowel movement.”

I wish I could say I made this up. And it is everything and every bit as bad as what you thought the second you read it.
Only holier. Drano for Christian colons.

Man, He’s gonna be pissed if they didn’t get an ‘okay’.
UPDATE: Dear Gunslinger: Holy CRAP. Thanks for finding it.

…When leprous Naaman dipped in the Jordan River 7 times (2 Kings 5: 10-14), he was healed through “hydrotherapy.” Jesus put clay on a blind man’s eyes and cured him (John 9:6-7) and thus sayeth Danny, “…the clay has drawing powers. It’s a great absorbent to the alimentary canal of toxins.” Vierra proudly announces that the same kind of clay Jesus used is in the Almighty Cleanse product!
And I think in one of the Gnostic gospels Jesus tosses a clump of clay to a guy with smelly feet and tells him, “Blow it out your colon.”

And ‘Christians’ wonder where the bad rap comes from…

7 Responses to “I Hope They Made Sure God Was on Board With This”

1. Gunslinger says:

   December 8, 2007 at 10:59 pm

   Whoa!

2. Mr. Bingley says:

   December 9, 2007 at 3:18 pm

   Didn’t Paul say something about this in his letter to the Colostomians?

3. Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life says:

   December 9, 2007 at 7:07 pm

   WTF?
   I mean, maybe I’d get it if I had the nerve to click through the links, but I’m afraid.

4. Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life says:

   December 9, 2007 at 7:08 pm

   Really, I don’t have the intestinal fortitude to click through…

5. Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life says:

   December 9, 2007 at 7:11 pm

   [Suppresses urge to make joke about gospel according to John]

6. tree hugging sister says:

   December 9, 2007 at 7:23 pm

   Be VERY afraid ~ this whack job is shooting for Uranus.

7. Nightfly says:

   December 10, 2007 at 7:24 am

   Holy CRAP, indeed.