I Know Where My Dial Won’t Be

Gorezilla is Chairman of the Board. That tells you all you need to know about how hip and happening, how current, this new network will be.

Taking its cues from their media consumption habits, Current will offer short-form programming in the TV equivalent of an iPod shuffle. Its “pods” will be 15-second to five-minute segments that range from the hottest trends in technology, fashion, television, music and videogames, to pressing issues such as the environment, relationships, spirituality, finance, politics and parenting, subjects that young adults can rarely find on television.

With all this jumping about, how is anyone ever going to find anything on Current? Given that the Democrats have all been in a lather over the years about the short attention spans of Americans, is it not odd that their former standard bearer is at the forefront of encouraging even shorter ones?
And goodness knows there’s never anything on TV about “the environment, relationships, spirituality, finance, politics and parenting.”

3 Responses to “I Know Where My Dial Won’t Be”

  1. Nightfly says:

    He should have stuck to inventing the Internet instead of trying to reinvent TV. This sounds like a 24-hour commercial channel, or an endless loop of “Robot Chicken.” (The description on the link specifically says, “…especially [sic] formulated for the Attention Deficit Disorder generation.”)
    Some feedback from within the target demographic: TTHHHPHHHHLLLLLBBBBT!

  2. Mr. Bingley says:

    A quote from one of my favorite characters!

  3. Gunslinger says:

    I’ve a better name and slogan for this soon to be trainwreck…
    “Don’t blink, or you’ll miss it.”

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