I Should Apply For Federal Funds

After all, I clearly am an “internationally recognized expert in the area of alcohol use among bloggers”

(CNSNews.com) – The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has awarded $2.7 million to study why lesbians are at a higher “risk for hazardous drinking.”

The University of Illinois has received grants since 2009 for its project, “Cumulative Stress and Hazardous Drinking in a Community of Adult Lesbians,” which aims to develop “culturally sensitive” strategies to prevent lesbians from being drunks.

…The study is being led by Tonda Hughes, professor at the Department of Health Systems Science at the University of Illinois, an “internationally recognized expert in the area of alcohol use among lesbians,” according to the University.

Gosh, that Sequester is causing such hardship!

9 Responses to “I Should Apply For Federal Funds”

  1. Fausta says:

    Just what the world needs!

  2. aelfheld says:

    Maybe they got invited to the White House Easter Egg Roll.

    That’d make me reach for the bottle for d—-d sure.

  3. JeffS says:

    If you can work lesbians into your proposal, Mr. B, you’ll have a better shot at getting the grant.

    Just sayin’.

  4. Syd B. says:

    I share many attributes with lesbians.

  5. Kathy Kinsley says:

    You and the Vodka pundit should SUE for recognition. Hmm. I wonder if scotchpundit.com is taken. 😛

  6. Kathy Kinsley says:

    @Syd. As I share many (non-physical) attributes with gay men. Heh.

  7. Yojimbo says:

    I think you flunk the “culturally sensitive” test, Bingster.

    The gov’t also gave out a 1.5 million grant to study why lesbians are fat.

    Probably just me but I don’t think I want to be a world recognized expert on lesbian drinking.

  8. Syd B. says:

    Why lesbians are fat? Did it ever occur to them that they’re lesbian because their fat?

  9. Michael Lonie says:

    That’s too sensible.

    I share ONE attribute with lesbians; I like girls. Should I put in for a grant? I can use the money.

    “internationally recognized expert in the area of alcohol use among lesbians,”

    One concludes, from this description, that Dr. Hughes is a lesbian lush.

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