“If I Only Had a Job”

I would while away the hours,
Decapitating flowers,
Trying to cause them pain.
But no matter how I sliced them,
Hacked and chopped and diced them,
It just never seems the same.

Oh, I could tell you why,
I LOVE my ISIS gore.
Lopping heads and burning folks is so much more,
My rocks get OFF!
Which I adore!

I can brutalize a woman,
Acting all sub-human,
And claim it’s all okay.
I can shout “Allah Ackbar”,
While fileting with my KBar,
And I know you’re all afraid!

Oh, I can make men cry,
As I quote Mo’s cheerful verse.
Medieval remedies abound to set the curse.
I can slice!
Or even worse!

Now Obama wants to help us,
A Job Corps just for ISIS,
Occupy our idle time.
Well, you can tell sweet Maria,
If I ever were to meet her,
It would BLOW her tiny mind.

6 Responses to ““If I Only Had a Job””

  1. nightfly says:

    We’re off to get our virgins
    Our 72 virgin brides
    We hear they are a-waiting for us
    The moment that we have died!
    If only we die for the jihad’s cause
    Then we will be greatly blessed because
    Because because because because becauuuuuuse
    Because of the murderous things we does!

  2. Kate P says:

    You guys are cutting way too close to the truth with your funnies.

  3. JeffS says:

    Consider this stolen.

  4. Gary from Jersey says:

    Good job, Fly. By the way, ever wonder if those virgins are fat, angry lesbians?

  5. aelfheld says:


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