“If I Only Had a Job”

I would while away the hours,
Decapitating flowers,
Trying to cause them pain.
But no matter how I sliced them,
Hacked and chopped and diced them,
It just never seems the same.

Oh, I could tell you why,
I LOVE my ISIS gore.
Lopping heads and burning folks is so much more,
My rocks get OFF!
Which I adore!

I can brutalize a woman,
Acting all sub-human,
And claim it’s all okay.
I can shout “Allah Ackbar”,
While fileting with my KBar,
And I know you’re all afraid!

Oh, I can make men cry,
As I quote Mo’s cheerful verse.
Medieval remedies abound to set the curse.
I can slice!
Or even worse!

Now Obama wants to help us,
A Job Corps just for ISIS,
Occupy our idle time.
Well, you can tell sweet Maria,
If I ever were to meet her,
It would BLOW her tiny mind.

6 Responses to ““If I Only Had a Job””

1. nightfly says:

   February 17, 2015 at 4:40 pm

   Ohhhhhhhhh
   We’re off to get our virgins
   Our 72 virgin brides
   We hear they are a-waiting for us
   The moment that we have died!
   If only we die for the jihad’s cause
   Then we will be greatly blessed because
   Because because because because becauuuuuuse
   Because of the murderous things we does!

2. Kate P says:

   February 17, 2015 at 6:05 pm

   You guys are cutting way too close to the truth with your funnies.

3. JeffS says:

   February 17, 2015 at 10:03 pm

   Consider this stolen.

4. Mr. Bingley says:

   February 18, 2015 at 6:12 am

   ha!

5. Gary from Jersey says:

   February 18, 2015 at 10:17 am

   Good job, Fly. By the way, ever wonder if those virgins are fat, angry lesbians?

6. aelfheld says:

   February 18, 2015 at 12:36 pm

   Brava!