I’m So Ronery

Well, I took my Bride to the airport today. She’s going out of town to spend a few days with her pop and daughter is off on a church retreat this weekend so that leaves me all alone.
Well not completely.

But as you can see he’s bummed too. While I do have a few friends here to help me pass the time

my main thoughts have turned to food. What to eat… garlic pizza? While that’s always a fave I’ve set my sights higher…


I have a hankerin’ to have steak au poive for dinner tonight, and I refuse to pay $20 a pound at the store for a few filets, so I bought a whole tenderloin at Costco

and I’m going to trim the beastie myself. It’s really not that difficult to do, and as you can see from the price tag it is much cheaper per pound to do this yourself. While $80 is nothing to sneeze at we’ll get at least 4 full meals out of a tenderloin this size which makes it an affordable treat. I must warn you Gentle Reader that I’m self-taught in the Sam Peckinpah method of trimming out a filet, however, and I won’t object if any of you offer corrections to my technique.
Anyhow, first thing I do is cut off the end of the Cryovac bag and let the excess blood drain.

After it’s reasonably drained remove the rest of the bag and behold Jabba’s Tongue

Start by peeling off the plastic-like membrane and loose fat

You’ll notice that the tip really is not useful for steaks, so I cut off about 3″ from the tip and cut it into smallish cubes

Oh, you know what’s coming, don’t you? Look at that tail all a-blur!

Who’s your buddy?

Meanwhile Bing the Ripper™ keeps trimming of sinew and excess fat globs

Trim trim trim

Back so soon?

Dude, if I haven’t started drinking yet there’s no way you’re getting seconds.
Anyhow, now that it’s reasonably trimmed I cut off a big hunk of the top for the Chateaubriand that I’ll freeze and make at a later date

Finish the trimming on this 3lb or so hunk

and then wrap it first in plastic wrap and then tinfoil for the journey to the freezer

Now back to finishing the liposuction on the filet section

and then slice it into filets roughly 1 1/2″ thick

As you can see there’s, what, 10 filets? Not bad. So 2 packs of 4 each go into the freezer

and two go on a plate and into the fridge for my dinner.

And now that I’ve put away the very sharp knife it’s time for me to pop open the first bottle

of many

and relax for a few hours before I start cooking.

23 Responses to “I’m So Ronery”

  1. suzette says:

    Ooh, Bingley – your sink is so deep. (/husky voice)

  2. colin says:

    Fucking A.

  3. major dad says:

    Didn’t that thing come out of someone’s chest in Alien?

  4. Mr. Bingley says:

    Hey suzette! you and sammy have about 30 minutes to get over here before I eat…there’s enough!

  5. An outstanding looking dinner, sir! And I admire your meat cutting skills. I come from ranching families on both sides and I know good meat cutting skills when I see them.
    Not that I have any, mind you, but I know them when I see them.

  6. suzette says:

    Timing is everything, Bingley. Next time I see the first shot of one of your Foodumentaries, I’m hopping into the car and gunning it down Rt 35.

  7. Annalucia says:

    Mr. Bingley, you have earned a plenary indulgence for posting this. I sometimes see beef tenderloins like that in the supermarket but have never bought one because I had no idea where to start with it. Thanks to you, I do now, and on my next trip to Dominick’s I’m heading for the meat case.
    And I hope Mrs. Bingley’s visit to Longbourn was a pleasant one 😉

  8. Gary from Jersey says:

    A Goebbels Worming feast, that. But I noticed a major shortcoming: You got no Makers Mark in the booze boutique. How’re you gonna ply Suzette with an adolescent come-on without a snootful of quality hooch?

  9. Felix Kasza says:

    You need a fileting knife, I regret to say. That rigid-bladed piece of junk is no good for this, no matter how sharp it may be.
    And if I may make a recommendation: A Chateaubriand is *so* much better if it is from the tenderloin’s middle ….
    These minor quibbles aside, I hope you enjoyed your meal. I raise my fork to you!

  10. richard mcenroe says:

    Huhuhuhuhuuuu… Good Lord a’mighty that’s MEAT!
    Thank the Lord for vegans cuz they leave more cows for the rest of us!

  11. Mr. Bingley says:

    I think you’re right on the knife, Felix; it’s sharp as the dickens but not so great at fileting.

  12. Mr. Bingley says:

    Unfortunately, Gary, the only bourbon I have is a big jug of Old Grandad; I’m just not a bourbon drinker…although I do prefer Maker’s Mark in my Manhattans.

  13. Richard Cook says:

    I just love that dog! The meat’s not bad either.

  14. Dr Alice says:

    Thanks for the post… now next time I see a tenderloin I’ll know what to do with it! What else might you do with the cubed bits, assuming there’s no Man’s Best Friend around to feed them to?

  15. Dan says:

    Meat. Because you can’t spell slaughter without laughter.

  16. Mr. Bingley says:

    She’s having a great time, Annalucia, as it’s much warmer there than here at Netherfield 🙂

  17. Mr. Bingley says:

    Who was it who said “if God didn’t want us to eat animals than he shouldn’t have made them out of meat” or somesuch.

  18. Mr. Bingley says:

    Dr Alice, I suppose you could stir fry them if you wanted to.

  19. kk says:

    you let the blood drain down the sink????? my god, you are such a philistine. it would have been useful in making a mighty fine sauce for the pepper steak or chateaubriand. pffffft – i will never read your posts with respect again
    noticed that laphroaig on your drinks table – a tiny splash is delicious in sauces for steak. heightens the meatiness

  20. Idler says:

    On top of everything else, a bottle of Terrazas. I haven’t seen that stuff for ages.

  21. jimmythespiv says:

    Ditto – I will buy one for tonite !

  22. LAN3 says:

    It’s not blood, you know, just some liquid from cells that broke down while it was cooling its heels in Costco. It does kick up a sauce, but it’ll contain protein which means there’ll be scum to skim when the sauce gets a-simmerin’.
    Unrelated to that, my point is that if you don’t like bourbon, give Tennessee Whiskey a try. It’s basically bourbon that’s been through “The Lincoln [TN] County Process,” which involves a run through a very tall charcoal filter. I drink both, m’self, and I can’t even afford a Costco membership. Bourbon goes better during and after cigars and bold-flavored meals, but Tennessee Whiskey’s good for drinking with any beer and especially for catchinguup, because I’m always arriving at the bar after everyone else.
    I admire your Scotch fortitude, as you drink both the peaty and the tawny and the smokey– most people discriminate (to their peril!). As they go, I’m an Aberlour man. To your health!

  23. I like my tenderloin steaks a bit thicker—about 2″. The great thing is that here in Costa Rica lomito is more like $10 a kilo. I usually go with a nice cracked pepper crust, then four minutes a side in a skillet.

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