In Honor of Hep Cats, Cool Daddios and Maxwell Smart: Regrettable Recipes

In a horrible confluence of epic proportions, the Fates have seen fit to gather Get Smart, Mr. Summers’ Maynardisms and the arrival of two canned soup recipe cards, all in one two-day period. These events, in turn, call to mind the ghastly pictures in Mr. Lileks book. Having been thusly traumatized (and one who never ignores edicts from outside our earthly realm), I have declared today shall be henceforth know as:

The Official Canned Condensed Cream Soup Recipes Day

I shall start by sharing the two questionable treasures sent to me from the remote mountainous region of New Jersey, then encourage you to add those Citadels of Sodium and Titans of Tin culled from your memory/recipe banks.

Saucy Chicken
4 boneless, skinless breast halves (3-3 1/2 lbs)
1/2 t salt
1/4 t pepper
1 can condensed cream of chicken soup, undiluted
1/2 C Miracle Whip
1 t lemon juice
1/2 t onion powder
1 C (4 oz.) shredded cheddar cheese (white)
cooked noodles
Brown chicken in skillet on med. heat. Arrange chicken in 9×12 baking dish. Mix salt, pepper, soup, lemon juice, onion powder and Miracle Whip. Pour over chicken, sprinkle cheese over it.
Bake 375°, 40 minutes. Serve over noodles.
No Peek Chicken
Cut up chicken breasts
1 can condensed chicken soup (cream)
1 can condensed celery soup (cream)
1 1/2 C milk
1 1/2 C long grain rice
1 pkg dry onion soup mix
Mix well together. Put in baking dish. Push chicken down*, sprinkle with onion soup mix. Cover with foil and bake at 325° for 2 hours.
Don’t Peek!
*I’m assuming you have to force the chicken into the mixture because it struggles to escape if not immediately subdued.
There you have it. American culinary classics and I know, KNOW, that there are thousands of others out there, just waiting to be shared. If the comments section gives you fits, email them to moi (recipes-at-beegewelborn-dot-com). I’ll transcribe and credit you for them in this post. (Oh, yeah baby, your name goes on it. For everybody to see.)
UPDATE: Intrepid Bingley (sacrificing himself for fellow Swillers, mind you) Blogs Baking Cheddar Cheese Canned Soup Cheesecake ~ Film Way Before 11!!!

27 Responses to “In Honor of Hep Cats, Cool Daddios and Maxwell Smart: Regrettable Recipes”

  1. The Real JeffS says:

    Cut up chicken breats
    Breats? Did you mean brats?

  2. Spelling error? WHAT spelling error? I fear you are mistaken, suh.

  3. Mr. Bingley says:

    The proper term is “Pamelas”.

  4. The Real JeffS says:

    Just so long as they aren’t pendulous, Mr. Bingley, as has been seen (SHUDDER!!!!!) on other blogs.
    ‘Tis a bad week for breasts. That’s why I appreciated this post, THS. It restored my faith in certain portions of the human (female) anatomy.
    Oh, and I like brats, too!

  5. The Real JeffS says:

    Bratwurst, I mean!

  6. Ken Summers says:

    [Bud Bundy]Hooters! Hooters![/Bud Bundy]

  7. Ken Summers says:

    But I still say the polite term is “bawacas

  8. Thanksgiving Favorite: Green Bean Casserole made with Cream of Mushroom Soup – toss a bag of frozen green-beans and the contents of The Can (stirred together with a can of delicious tap-water) into a baking dish and bake. Top with those pre-fried onion crunchies – recipe on the can.

  9. Thank you, Keith, for that moment of sanity and reminding me how good THAT canned soup concoction is! Yums! (especially with more onions than beans)

  10. Mr. Bingley says:

    Keith, I noticed you had some trouble posting. MT-Blacklist doesn’t like the word “di-et”.

  11. Cullen says:

    Ahhh. Green Bean Casserole. Add some Worcestershire sauce and it’s even better.

  12. Suzette says:

    Oh, your poor innocent people. Now you’ve done it and opened the door to soup talk. Do you not realize that I am more than just Suzette? Is it possible that you don’t realize that I am also a The Soup Lady? I will now smite you with one of my more spectacular canned soup recipes:
    Souper Cheesecake
    1 cup graham cracker crumbs
    1/4 cup butter, melted
    12 oz. cream cheese, softened
    2/3 cup sugar
    3 eggs
    1 can CAMPBELL’S Condensed Cheddar Cheese Soup
    1 teaspoon grated lemon peel
    2 tablespoons lemon juice
    1. In a small bowl, combine crumbs and butter; mix well. Press crumb mixture evenly into bottom of 9-inch springform pan. Set aside.
    2. In large bowl with mixer at medium speed, beat cream cheese until smooth. Beat in soup, lemon peel and lemon juice until blended. Pour over crust.
    3. Bake at 350 for 1 hour or until puffed around edges and set in center. Cool completely in pan in wire rack. Refrigerate until serving time, at least 4 hours. Garnish with sliced fresh fruit or canned fruit. Makes 12 servings.
    Take that! (The challenge in this recipe is not the making of it, but it lies in finding someone who will actully eat it. I’m actively recruiting volunteers.)

  13. Mr. Bingley says:

    I will! I love the Cheddar Cheese soup!
    I’m making that this weekend…if I don’t post on Monday, you know who to blame.

  14. Mr. Bingley says:

    {fiendish cackle}
    Daughter is having 4 12yr-olds sleep over on Saturday night for her birthday. Who needs lab mice?
    {fiendish cackle}

  15. Lisa says:

    Velveeta fudge rawks, dearest. Dismiss the Velveeta to your peril!
    I made this a LOT when I was first married, since I don’t know how to fry chicken.
    2 lb. chicken parts
    1 tbsp. butter, melted OR 1 tbsp. margarine
    1 can (10 3/4 oz.) Campbell’s® Cream of Chicken soup
    In 2-quart oblong baking dish, arrange chicken. Drizzle with margarine. Bake at 375°F. 30 min.
    Spoon soup over chicken. Bake 30 min. or until chicken is no longer pink. Stir sauce before serving.
    Whip up some seasoned rice and a salad, and VOILA!

  16. Suzette says:

    What can I say? The Soup Lady’s got it goin’ on!
    Apparently, you haven’t gotten to the Coffee Jello recipe yet.

  17. Lisa ~ sounds yummy! Our mummy dearest did something very similar that we adored as kiddies. Your ingredients (the chicken parts are baked until the salt/peppered skin gets crisped up first) plus a can of cream of mushroom, chopped onions and parboiled potato cubes. All lovingly glopped together, dumped over the poulet and baked. I think it’s about the last 10 minutes or so, you dot the thing with big tablespoonfuls of sour cream all over the top. Lip-schmacking.
    No, Suzette, I haven’t, craven coward that I am. The Velveeta thing stopped me dead in my tracks.

  18. Mr. Bingley says:

    Anything with Velveeta gets my Kansan-bred bride’s heart all a flutter!

  19. Nightfly says:

    Whose idea was it to put soup and Miracle Whip in the same sentence? Might as well be Cool Whip instead.

  20. I think Miracle Whip should be considered a crime against nature. Or the phrase Bingley’s most familiar with: “an unnatural crime”.

  21. Blog o'RAM says:

    Carnival of the Recipes #58: An Ode To Autumn

    Who cares that it is eighty degrees and the roses are still in bloom. There is a chill in the air, the apples are ripe and it just might frost sometime soon. We watched the homecoming parade and can hear…

  22. Blog o'RAM says:

    Carnival of the Recipes #59: An Ode To Autumn

    Who cares that it is eighty degrees and the roses are still in bloom. There is a chill in the air, the apples are ripe and it just might frost sometime soon. We watched the homecoming parade and can hear…

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