In the Middle of a Life or Death Struggle

…with a Christmas Tree entirely too boffo for his stand, I hear…

‘Cause the man from Mars
Stopped eatin’ cars
And eatin’ bars
And now he only eats guitars

…and stop dead in my tracks. Wondering, as I have for the past 20 some-odd years, just what the Sam hell that means.

26 Responses to “In the Middle of a Life or Death Struggle”

  1. Cullen says:

    Last I heard my guitar wanted to kill somebody’s momma.

  2. Mr. Bingley says:

    Mine wants to find watermelons in easter hay.

  3. The_Real_JeffS says:

    If I had a guitar, it would be a member of a “cabal of criminal cronies”.

  4. Nightfly says:

    Well, after all those Cadillacs (Lincolns too!), Mercuries, and Subarus, there’s not a lot of room in the stomach from Mars. What’s to understand?

  5. Ken Summers says:

    I have absolutely no idea what anybody is talking about.

  6. Crusader says:

    I’m with you Ken. Not a clue.

  7. My point exactly. Bugs the schnoodles out of me.

  8. Mike Rentner says:

    Must be a bunch of youngin’s here, who can’t remember the great Blondie and the first mainstream rap song in 1980. Rap never got better, and it wasn’t even good then.
    The only good rap song is the one about the hot rod Lincoln.
    Lyrics for: Rapture
    Toe to toe
    Dancing very slow
    Barely breathing
    Almost comatose
    Wall to wall
    People hypnotised
    And they’re stepping lightly
    Hang each night in Rapture
    Back to back
    Spineless movement
    And a wild attack
    Face to face
    Sadly solitude
    And it’s finger popping
    Twenty-four hour shopping in Rapture
    Fab Five Freddie told me everybody’s high
    DJ’s spinnin’ are savin’ my mind
    Flash is fast, Flash is cool
    Francois sez fas, Flashe’ no do
    And you don’t stop, sure shot
    Go out to the parking lot
    And you get in your car and you drive real far
    And you drive all night and then you see a light
    And it comes right down and lands on the ground
    And out comes a man from Mars
    And you try to run but he’s got a gun
    And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
    And then you’re in the man from Mars
    You go out at night, eatin’ cars
    You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too
    Mercurys and Subarus
    And you don’t stop, you keep on eatin’ cars
    Then, when there’s no more cars
    You go out at night and eat up bars where the people meet
    Face to face, dance cheek to cheek
    One to one, man to man
    Dance toe to toe
    Don’t move to slow, ’cause the man from Mars
    Is through with cars, he’s eatin’ bars
    Yeah, wall to wall, door to door, hall to hall
    He’s gonna eat ’em all
    Rapture, be pure
    Take a tour, through the sewer
    Don’t strain your brain, paint a train
    You’ll be singin’ in the rain
    I said don’t stop, do punk rock
    Well now you see what you wanna be
    Just have your party on TV
    ‘Cause the man from Mars won’t eat up bars when the TV’s on
    And now he’s gone back up to space
    Where he won’t have a hassle with the human race
    And you hip-hop, and you don’t stop
    Just blast off, sure shot
    ‘Cause the man from Mars stopped eatin’ cars and eatin’ bars
    And now he only eats guitars, get up!

  9. Mike Rentner says:

    but of course, I have no more idea what it means than anyone else does.

  10. MIke ya beat me to it – and I think thats why I like that song cause it is nonsensical…much more preferable than the abhorrent filth that is coming out of what they call rap nowadays…

  11. Crusader says:

    Funny, never paid any attention to the lyrics of that song…..must have been Blinded by the Light…

  12. Emily says:

    Does this mean I get to give Ken grief for making such a fuss over people not knowing who Jimmy Durante was?

  13. It certainly has staying power.
    Oh, and you are SO right, Sharon. I spend a lot of time cringing as it’s tres warm here and car windows are open all the time. The putricity that spills forth is stunning.

  14. Ken Summers says:

    Emily: No
    You may give me grief for a lot of things but this is not one of them. (For pete’s sake, Jimmy Durante vs. forgotten pop song? Might as well compare Bob Hope with… um… some other 80s pop song I’ve thankfully forgotten)

  15. Nightfly says:

    On a related note, Sis, what’s the oddest song you’ve ever heard from a passing car? I disqualify my own, as I’ve been known to blast everything from Abba to ZZ Top (alphabetically and musically).
    My topper is the convertible (top-down) that cruised past me on Wellwood Avenue in Lindenhurst, Long Island, proudly cranking Kansas’ “Song for America”.

  16. Emily says:

    Forgotten? Not quite, Ken! This post wouldn’t even exist if it was…

  17. Ken Summers says:

    I had forgotten it (assuming I had ever actually heard it in the first place; I’m really not sure because I spent a lot of time in the 80s actively avoiding pop music)

  18. Cullen says:

    Now, my guitar gently weeps.

  19. Ken Summers says:

    Okay, now THAT rocks, Cullen.

  20. Dave J says:

    “…just what the Sam hell that means.”
    I’m going to take a guess that, among other things, it means that circa 1979-81, Debbie Harry was completely stoned out of her mind. And I mean that in the kindest possible way, of course.
    Seriously, Ken, I truly can’t believe Blondie doesn’t ring any bells for you: I believe they were (are?) the only American group to have had a number one single in the UK in each of the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. You must at least remember “Call Me” from American Gigolo.

  21. Debbie Harry was completely stoned out of her mind.
    Concur. It’s the only explanation. And as drugs never agreed with me, I was never able to bond with a good number of my peers. I also never got the Cheech and Chong movies. On the bright side, it meant I had money for my expensive make-up habit.

  22. Cullen says:

    Not that you need make up.

  23. Ken Summers says:

    Dave, I remember Blondie (and I actually like some of their stuff), but I don’t think I ever heard that particular song. But it is true that I tried to avoid most pop music in the 80s (more accurately, from about 1975 on)

  24. What did you listen to…Mantovani?
    (Cullen is a gentleman, you cretinous puddle of rudeness.)

  25. Ken Summers says:

    Mostly I listened to stuff from before 1975 (with rare exceptions)

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