It Went Horribly Awry

We were eating a quiet dinner that was shattered by the ferocious ringing of the doorbell. Our plates clattered to the table as we raced to open the front hatchway, only to be confronted by another piece of duct tape holding another horrific photo and repeated demands for Miller Lite. Yes. Officer Lotto. He’d fooled no one. Bless you JeffS, for asking. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you.
UPDATE: A new note, taped in the driveway. (Photo below) They’re getting desperate and starting to crack.

I feel a can of whoop-ass coming on…

That squid can just stand the flock by.
Unfortunate the victims have to suffer for policy.

(CSI Panhandle’s addendum: that metal rod taped callously to the note is a FLAMINGO leg, for those of you not familiar with the wading birds of Florida.)

5 Responses to “It Went Horribly Awry”

  1. Mr. Bingley says:

    “That Flamingo’s dynamite!”

  2. The Real JeffS says:

    Well, Officer Lotto could go out with a bang…..

  3. Nightfly says:

    One… two… FIVE! Or, “All of your flamingo are belong to us…ha ha ha ha.”
    Or yet again, “You fools! We will defeat you! (And take your Miller Lite…)”

  4. Dave J says:

    Be that the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch?!

  5. Dave, you discerner of deadly demolition doodads! Indeed it is.
    (Fly, that was one of the most pop-up laden sites it’s ever been my misfortune to click through. When our Special Forces get done with the Squid next door, they’re coming after you…)
    And St. Attila raised the hand grenade up on high saying “O Lord bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy” and the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orang-utangs and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and…
    …and the Lord spake, saying “First thou shall take out the Holy Pin, then thou shalt count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my site, shall snuff it.

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