Just a Note Reality Check for the Clown

I don’t care if your baristas steam up java made from vermin poo served in golden arches cups: the closest I will EVER get to McDonald’s is the drive through. And, oddly enough, I DON’T think I’m just speaking for me.

McDonald’s brings on baristas
The Hamburglar has his eye on the Grande Mocha Latte.
McDonald’s (MCD, news, msgs) will install coffee bars with baristas — experts in preparing coffee drinks — at nearly all of its 14,000 restaurants in the U.S., The Wall Street Journal reported.
The move is part of the fast-food chain’s continued effort to challenge Starbucks’ (SBUX, news, msgs) dominance in the coffee market.

The truth hurts, eh kid?

19 Responses to “Just a Note Reality Check for the Clown”

  1. RebeccaH says:

    Do they realize this is the fastest way to drive off their most stalwart customers, i.e., the old retired geezers who like to get together every morning at an outdoor table in the summer and a window table in the winter, and shoot the sh** over coffee?

  2. Skyler says:

    I’m not understanding what your complaint is. Besides the creepy picture, that is.
    McD’s wants to make a lot of money on the high profit margin coffee and they want the yuppies to come to their drive through, not Starbuck’s drive through. So? What’s the problem?
    And I don’t understand Rebecca’s comment either. How will with drive off the old retired geezers that take up table space that could be used for other customers?
    I’m just so confused.

  3. “nearly all of its 14,000 restaurants”? I live in the hood, and I can’t see the McDs in the ghetto going gaga over psuedo Starbucks.

  4. The_Real_JeffS says:

    So? What’s the problem?
    Let me guess…..you prefer MREs over fresh food, right?

  5. Dave J says:

    Every few years, I do wind up at McDonald for God-knows-what reason. And then I think to myself, “no way could it be as bad as I remember.” So I have something, and it turns out to be WORSE than I remember.

  6. Skyler says:

    No, seriously. I don’t understand this post. Why would it be bad yet still good enough for a drive through?

  7. Skyler, pumpkin: what’s wrong is not better coffee through the drive through. The idea is that McDonald’s thinks that better coffee will cure what ails them ~ and not just better coffee, but Starbuck-like pretensions! They’re a BURGER joint who doesn’t do THAT all that well, hence their schizophrenic menu machinations. The minions who gladly pay gazillions for a daily foamy caloric cup also see Starbucks as a trendy, contemporary, cool-quotient, comfy place to sip/read your paper/Camus novel/socialize/all of the above. That demographic is not moving to McDonald’s. EH-VAH. Which is why it’s so patently ridiculous to begin with. Whoever is in their marketing department should save their $$$$’s and spend them on consistent training for the franchise worker burger bees.

  8. The_Real_JeffS says:

    Whoever is in their marketing department should save their $$$$’s and spend them on consistent training for the franchise worker burger bees.
    Or just bring back their old french fries. I mean, jeez, the current offering looks like rolled up newspapers deep fried in Cricso! At least the old McDucks had that one saving grace of deeply unhealthy but tasty french fries before they tried to pass their menu off as “healthy”.
    When I want healthy food, I’ll munch on a barbequed Olympic gold medal winner.

  9. Skyler says:

    Oh. I see your point now.
    But I’ll bet it takes off like a wild fire. Never underestimate the tastes of the public.

  10. Mockin'bird says:

    Mcdonalds already has better coffee than Strawbuck’s. Additionally, McD’s not full of pretentious leftists in the morning.

  11. And never will be, no matter how badly MickeyD’s thinks they want them.

  12. “…I’ll munch on a barbequed Olympic gold medal winner.
    Are the East Germans still full of unhealthy additives/hormones? Be careful what you reach for, Jeff. Read the label FIRST.

  13. nightfly says:

    I just want to say – that picture is more disturbing than anything of the Hoff’s that you’ve foisted upon us.
    Just for this, I’ll remind you that Dunkin’s has better coffee than Starbucks anyway, not to mention those tasty donuts.

  14. Kate P says:

    Heh, Nightfly, in my parents’ neighborhoood the Dunkin’ Donuts is right across the street from the MickeyD’s–and MickeyD’s hasn’t been operating for the past six months b/c they’re putting in their latest prototype. Which apparently could include a coffee bar??? I’m not sure people who have been getting their coffee somewhere else for that long are going to break down the shiny new doors for the barista cliche.

  15. (Dearest Kate ~ welcome to the Swilling and it’s world of subtle/not so subtle Dunkin’ Donuts digs. It’s been an ongoing source of amusement for the cruel and cranky among us, ever since I bewailed the demise of ALL our local franchises. “Butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-his-mouth” Diptera has just played a round. But I know something HE doesn’t know: besides not being left handed, every month our lovely UPS lady Ginger delivers five pounds o’ love in a shiney silver bag.)

  16. nightfly says:

    THS – that’s sweet of Ginger… but they’re still not creme puffs.

  17. Click the LINK, you obstinate little insect!!!!

  18. Kate P says:

    Oh, yes–I recognize that shiny bag from my parents’ kitchen. 🙂
    And, um, I’m going to have a hard time seeing “chocolate creme” on the menu board for a while.

Image | WordPress Themes