Kamila Valieva Cheater-Cheater Pants CRISIS AVERTED

Which is pretty much how she’ll be remembered from this Olympics forward, thanks to a December 2021 dirty drug test, inexcusably late report of it, an official excusez-moi of “mixed up with Grampie’s heart meds” derailed by subsequent revelations of additional heart medications in the tainted sample, and the shameless, hopelessly corrupt IOIC waving the go-ahead flag, while ruining medal ceremonies and Olympic memories for every other single skater on the ice with her who has a podium shot.

It’s a crying shame she’ll forever be a cheater-cheater pants, because she is just mesmerizing to watch. I haven’t seen a skater so gorgeous in every aspect on the ice…sheesh. Since I can’t remember when. They’re either little monster jumpers with zero grace, or beautiful lines and not really the athletes today demands.

This little girl?

Wow.

As the Olympics haven’t darkened our TV screens once, I found this video from SkateCanada to see what the fuss was all about. Like I said. Crying shame the Russian penchant for doping is ruining her.

But in the weird way life has…

UPDATE: CRISIS AVERTED, GULAG FAMILY RESERVATION CONFIRMED, UKRAINE INVASION FO SCHIZZLE CERTAIN NOW

IOC got to be pooping their drawers relieved.

Clowns.

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