Loafing is Dangerous

Bread needs a warning label. For example:

9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person*.

(*See South Park portrait below) Read the rest and change your life while there’s still time.
Swill Salute:Samizdata

5 Responses to “Loafing is Dangerous”

  1. Mr. Bingley says:

    Ban Bread!
    Make minors show ID before we allow them to purchase any.

  2. Dave J says:

    Reminds me of the parody warning label listing all the potential dangers of dihydrogen monoxide (AKA, “water”).

  3. Mr. Bingley says:

    And don’t forget that bread is just dry beer!

  4. Isn’t that basically what those Atkins numbnuts have done? How many wonderful little bakeries went out of business? A truly horrible effect, when those of us in the bakery deprived south would gladly patronise a real bakery, could we find one. Buttercream dreams, baby. I dream of real buttercream.

  5. Nightfly says:

    You guys are good….I was working on this while reading, and luckily found this before I finished. You are thus incorporated therein.

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