Mass Bans Bake Sales

Naturally, they’re doing it for the children

Bake sales, the calorie-laden standby cash-strapped classrooms, PTAs and booster clubs rely on, will be outlawed from public schools as of Aug. 1 as part of new no-nonsense nutrition standards, forcing fundraisers back to the blackboard to cook up alternative ways to raise money for kids.

But remember, it’s those Evul Christofacist Rethuglicans in Congress who are denying schools much-needed funds.

In a not-unrelated note:

Dear China,

What the hell???

Soylent Green is Chinese babies.

9 Responses to “Mass Bans Bake Sales”

  1. major dad says:

    I swear public education is run by the dumbest people on the planet. Yeah, see how much money they make selling carrot sticks at the next fund raiser.

  2. aelfheld says:

    Maybe those pills are intended for Massachusetts lunch rooms.

  3. Jim - PRS says:

    PTA and Booster Club turnip sales might be big money makers.

  4. JeffS says:

    I’m thinking tofu sandwiches. With no mayo.

  5. Kathy Kinsley says:

    @ Jeffs
    Oh – maybe mayo – there’s that new olive-oil mayo (less fat, all that mediterranean diet healthy). And it’s actually good (caught it on sale once, and been buying it mostly since). And, oddly, I also like tofu. BUT only in moderation and very much only if I’m not FORCED to eat it.

    I have a lot of Thai recipes that tofu goes nicely in. (And a good deal more cheaply than most meats – sorry, that’s my Scots ancestors talking…)

    Leaves me more cash for affording a nice bottle of single-malt here and there.

    All of which is mostly off-topic, which is bake sales. I say, bake ’em – when the public doesn’t want the sweets, then you make the tofu sandwiches. And lawmakers who say otherwise should be summarily UNelected next election. (If not tarred, feathered, and run out on the next rail.)

  6. Greg Newsom says:

    My Ex-wife used to feed me that Tofu stuff.Not bad if you’re in a Concentration Camp,or hiking to Patagonia.Kids are fat because they sit on their asses and play video games, and not sports.

  7. JeffS says:

    And, oddly, I also like tofu.

    Nobody’s perfect, Kathy. Except the Tree Hugging Sister. Most of the time…..

  8. mojo says:

    I’d suggest that they look up a nearly-extinct disease named “kuru”…

  9. Kathy Kinsley says:

    LOL @mojo – I looked it up because I didn’t know that term – but I thought so – “laughing sickness”. Don’t THINK that applies to bake sales. Unless you are baking the teachers.

    And just to give y’all some hope for the northeast… House overturns school bake sale ban.

    Oh, and I STILL like tofu. 😛

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