Oh, Thank God ~ A Marine

…and a polite one, no? THAT’S the part that gave me pause…

From: Mr. Kenneth Jorge.[U.S Marine Contractor] 2nd Battalion, 25th Marine Regiment,
Kabul Province, Afghanistan.

Good day and compliments. I know this letter will definitely come to you as a huge surprise; I am Mr. Kenneth Jorge, serving in the 2nd Battalion, 25th Marine Regiment which in Security peace keeping and re-construction of the Kabul Province, Afghanistan. I am desperately in need of assistance for a recipient; That, I have summoned up courage to contact you. I am seeking your assistance to evacuate the sum of $10.5million USD (Ten Million, Five Hundred Thousand USD) to
any safe country as far as I can be assured that the fund will be safe in your care until I complete my service here in Afghanistan and proceed to meet you.

On the 30th April, 2003, when I was in Iraq for peace keeping and for re-construction, I was assigned for some re-construction work in some part of Baghdad , Iraq. During the re-construction works, I discovered some metallic containers hidden behind the false wall of houses which
I assumed that the stash could have been left by fleeing regime leaders. I ordered my assigned military workers to open the containers one after the other and to our amazement, the containers were loaded with monies in different currencies which could amount to some millions of Dollars and other currencies. In the process, we declared some part of the monies and hide some to ourselves which we shared and kept secret till date. You will find more about this fund on the link below, click on the link to read:


This might appear as an illegal thing to do but I tell you what? No compensation can make up for the risks we have taken with our lives in this hell hole during my stay in Iraq. The above figure was given to me as my share and to conceal this kind of money became a problem for me, so with the help of a British contact working with the UN then (his office enjoys some immunity) I was able to get the package out to a safe location entirely out of trouble spot and deposited it with the Red Cross Office since 2003. This office does not know the real contents of the package as they believe that it was my Family belongings.

My relocation to Afghanistan came to me as a surprise as I have concluded plans to evacuate my fund immediately I conclude my service here in Iraq. Since I’ve been relocated to Afghanistan, I’ve got to know that working in this dangerous Continent with these Ungodly Talibans can cost my life, I have decided to contact you and seek your assistance to act as my recipient to receive my consignment deposited in Iraq. I have now found a secured way of getting the package out of
Iraq to your destination, I do not know for how long I will remain here as I have been lucky to have survived 2 suicide bomb attacks by Pure Divine intervention. I will give you 15% of the total sum.

Contact me as soon as possible through E-mail and declare your interest to assist me so that I can furnish you with more details.

Mr.Kenneth Jorge.[U.S Marine Contractor]

For a brief second there, I thought he was a Nigerian or something.

6 Responses to “Oh, Thank God ~ A Marine”

  1. Kate P says:

    “concluded plans”? I think the Nigerians have better writing skills.

  2. Skyler says:

    Come now, THS. A Marine would never do this. He’s a contractor for the Marines. That could actually make this legit! We had lots of Macedonians and other nationals contracting to maintain our portajohns.

  3. tree hugging sister says:

    True, Skyler. True. And he DID call them, “Ungodly Talibans”, although he should have capitalized God and Taliban is already a plural. But NOW I’m being petty.

    You didn’t see any Nigerians though, right? I mean, he wouldn’t be, like, masquerading as a Macedonian (Philip or any of his descendents), would he?

    You can’t be too leery in this day and age. (I meant ‘leer’ in the most harmess way.) Then again, I don’t want to be ACCUSED of any…um..Macedonian/Nigerian …bias, as it were. You know?

  4. JeffS says:

    Sis, you might be guilty of “bias” if you thought this came from an Army Contractor.

    But you didn’t, so you’re not.

  5. Skyler says:

    Before I left al anbar in October 2005 there were all sorts running around, mostly in al asad. I don’t recall nigerians but the ugandans were guarding the base.

  6. Yojimbo says:

    Well I’m all over this. With my Nigerian funds due any day now this will make for a handsome contribution to the “Bingley For Anything And Everything Campaign Fund”. What on earth could go wrong?

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