Pshaw! Bingley (Good Man That He Is) Is a (Dare I Say It?) (Oh, I DO!) WIMP

For, while I also have to W.O.R.K. , major dad and I were, this very morning, for the first time ever in almost 30 years of marriage…keeping 700+ other foolish, hardy souls company freezing our collective asses off at 3:30 zero dark this a.m. in the Navy Exchange parking lot.

It wasn’t all bad ~ they walked boxes of Dunkin’ Donuts up and down the line, and had coffee available. (But with no girls’ room available, plus a vague hope of sleep if we got home by, oh 6 or so, I passed.)

The doors opened promptly at 4.

And, believe it or not, we all scuttled in, for the most part zeroing in on what we wanted. Ours involved clutching a ticket I’d picked up outside, so there wasn’t quite the pressure behind some of the other interior dives.

And we scored the new telly, which we now have to arrange to get delivered sometime.

I feel like a traitor. It’ll replace the 1988 one that goes to the bedroom to replace the ’84 cutting edge stereo model that still has the gorgeous “Black Stripe” picture and cool background story of having gotten it REALLY cheap, because Toshiba was selling the Russians nuclear submarine (or something) technology secrets that year. (But it only has 50 channels ~ an early FCC thing.) The thought of bannishing such a trooper to the storage unit…gads.

To answer your question: No. Nothing leaves casa de major dad unless it’s MUERTO. Dead. Done. Finished. Can’t be fixed. Even then, I weep.

So a new TV brings with it its own angst besides electronic loyalties. Furniture has to get moved around, so the feng shui is thrown off, as well as the vermin that counts on those corners and dustballs. We’ve discovered (Where a Thanksgiving Skype with Ebola pays off handsomely.) that our cable box has no HDMI sort of holes in the back, so major dad gets to waltz with the girls at the Cox office today, should they even be in residence. Then there’s the reprogramming issues and the BluRay player that came bundled with the telly.

It’s overwhelming. I’m going to need an extension on the Skypey camera so I can wheel Ebola’s eagle eyes all over the livingroom.

Considering the suffering to come, it’ll probably be the once and ONLY time in almost 30 years of marriage we venture forth, but it doesn’t change a thing about Bingley.

21 Responses to “Pshaw! Bingley (Good Man That He Is) Is a (Dare I Say It?) (Oh, I DO!) WIMP”

  1. Mr. Bingley says:

    Will the hamsters in your LaserDisc be able to power the new telly?

  2. Larry says:

    Right now I have a computer monitor gathering dust in the spare bedroom.
    There isn’t anything wrong with it, I just got a new flat-screen monitor for my birthday and I have no need of it.
    I sure do hate to get rid of it though…

  3. tree hugging sister says:

    DAMMIT! Actually, the poor LaserDisk hasn’t been right since the move down here, when they piled fifty pounds of books on it. I straightened it out, but the frame was too tweaked to play the disks, so we’ve used it almost exclusively for CD’s since then. Now, I’ll admit I’ve been making weak mewling noises about the VCR (I think Ebola said it would work) but I don’t remember.

    It’s gonna be a long weekend if this thing arrives.

  4. Mr. Bingley says:

    You crow about how rough and tough you are yet you don’t schlepp it home with you?


  5. major dad says:

    It wouldn’t fit in the car Pencil Neck besides we would have had to wait probably at least another hour to get it. It could have been worse, nobody was pepper spraying anyone and no fights or line cutting.

  6. Rob says:

    My last TV, like my last microwave, just WOULD NOT DIE. I desperately wanted to upgrade both. The microwave because it was a hideous woodgrain monstrosity from Sears and the also woodgrain TV because it just wasn’t modern. We were kinda giddy when the micro finally crapped out. The TV never did but we finally upgraded anyway. Goodwill wouldn’t take our TV because of the woodgrain.

  7. Ebola says:

    Considering I gave you a perfectly good flat screen, why the hell are you replacing the 84 with the 82 instead of the 04? 😛

  8. JeffS says:

    Y’all don’t have to throw things away. There are alternates to turning casa de major into a museum of Elderly Electronic Junk:

    * Sell the stuff at the nearest college. Some student will buy it. (Not barracks — the troops deserve better.)

    * Hold a yard sale. It’s stunning what people will buy.

    * eBay for some of the more ancient dietrus. Someone will consider it as “collectible”, or maybe they need spare parts.

    Having said that, if you’re so attached to the stuff, maybe you want to rent another storage unit. Just in case.

    As for Black Friday……my only shopping today centers on Home Depot and vittles. Thank God.

  9. Mr. Bingley says:

    The whole point of going is to schlogg it out and bash people in line with your merchandise!

  10. Rob says:

    The Home Depot here will be no bargain for those wanting to avoid Black Friday, JeffS. They’re just as crazy.

    I had a yard sale once. We dealt with sweltering heat and people trying to talk us down from 10-20-25 cents. At the end of the day, we sold about half of our junk and made $80. I’ll never do that again.

  11. JeffS says:

    True dat, Rob. But yard sales are more about moving junk than making lots of money. Although making money is not to be sneezed at.

    Mr. Bingley, it’s a good thing you avoid Black Friday, else the police would be looking for you, like they are with this woman.

  12. Mr. Bingley says:

    I lurves my fellow man, Jeff!

  13. tree hugging sister says:

    We are still (cough) using our original microwave ~ a Quasar behemoth, circa 1982. Been from us to Ebola and back.

  14. Mr. Bingley says:

    Oh, you still have that Chernobyl model, sis?

  15. tree hugging sister says:

    We do. That might explain why it won’t die. It’s a Zombie.

    We have it in the garage just to be safe, but jeeps! Look at the stuff you could do with it!

  16. kcruella101 says:

    If I can hook up my HDTV with the new cable box, dvd player and vcr I am sure that Major Dad can figure it out. I only needed one short call to the cable company.

  17. Dr Alice says:

    The Navy Exchange has sales too? Wow, congrats on your new TV! (and offload that old stuff, for the sake of your sanity! I speak from experience as my Dad won’t let go of ANYTHING…)

  18. Ebola says:

    Still waiting for an answer Madré.

  19. Donna D says:

    Can’t believe you finally broke down and replaced the beast in the living room!

  20. tree hugging sister says:

    It’s a process, Donna. Next time you come, the Giants will be life-size. That is, if we survive the installation/furniture scramble tomorrow.

    Ebola, sweet child: SILENCE, Spawn!!

  21. Ebola says:

    Yeah, thought so. Like white trash in the trailer park on Cops, you’ll still let that busted ass thing you “love” visually assault you when you have the option of letting it go and taking a far better alternative. 😛

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