Received A Package Today…

Inside was a letter:

Mr. Bingley!
Here is your genuine, official, personalized, U.S. Army desert camouflage boonie hat, presented in recognition of your valuable but unspecified services to your nation. Of course, I would like to detail how your support of the Global War on Terrorism greatly assissted the Armed Forces in their fight against the terrorists, and how it seriously impacted the operations of scumbag terrorists around the world, but then I would have to kill anyone who read this letter…so we’ll just have to settle for this vague but sincere unofficial letter that no one at the Pentagon will ever acknowledge as genuine.
Agent XYZ, Kuwait

And beneath the letter was…


17 Responses to “Received A Package Today…”

  1. Bingley BASTARD !!!

  2. Ouch!

    Sis is not amused. Somehow, I’m expecting an unpleasant episode in New Jersey, probably involving flamingo leavin’s….

  3. Ken Summers says:

    I suspect this has something to do with disappearing pecan cookies
    I won’t mention any names, but I expect we’ll soon hear about a “flamingo leavin’s” incident in Kuwait, too.

  4. Well, as I remember, someone else was given a magic hat, and look what it did for him.

  5. Nightfly says:

    Yeah, but this hat is magical and real – see the picture? This is unbearably sweet. Congrats, man.

  6. (Oh Fly, you suck-up Pollyana you…)

  7. Mr. Bingley says:

    But Sis, when I make my run for Governor I can pull the hat out and say “this was given to me after I ran a shipment of Pecan Cookies up the Tigris…”

  8. *SNORT* The MANASQUAN more like.

  9. Mr. Bingley says:

    Hey, there are some viscious tides on the Manasquan! And my god, the battles that rage against the algae! They are seared, seared into my memory!

  10. Searing like the fumes rising from the Exxon storage tanks in Fawt Lee?
    (Did you mean vicious, viscous or just entirely make some new shit up, like Vermicious Knids?)

  11. Crusader says:

    (Did you mean vicious, viscous or just entirely make some new shit up, like Vermicious Knids?)
    Methinks he meant viscous. To many I’s, a problem I can’t claim at this point in life.

  12. Full of Birdlime ??
    Better than full of birdsh…you know what I mean and closer to the truth.
    (But what a beautiful I it is, widdle brover.)

  13. The Real JeffS says:

    Mr. Bingley, that looks GREAT!
    THS, you sure you think it is beautiful? That hat is in Army desert camouflage pattern, not Marine.
    Pecan cookies, embroidered hats… they go hand in hand???????

  14. Mr. Bingley says:

    I meant “vichyssoise”.

  15. Mr. Bingley says:

    JeffS, Yes, it does!!!
    You Da Man!

  16. The Real JeffS says:

    No, cookies and hats DON’T go hand in hand……

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