Science at It’s Finest

For some male bats, sexual prowess comes with a price — smaller brains. A research team led by Syracuse University biologist Scott Pitnick found that in bat species where the females are promiscuous, the males boasting the largest testicles also had the smallest brains. Conversely, where the females were faithful, the males had smaller testes and larger brains.

All they had to do was ask Major Dad’s favorite question when confronted by…say…the Coors Twins:

“Why are men pigs?”

He wants the answer to be “because the trough is full”, but that’s a lie. The simple truth is:

“Because they are.”

19 Responses to “Science at It’s Finest”

1. Cullen says:

   January 25, 2006 at 9:34 am

   Ergo, Batman, being the world’s greatest detective, was really just trying to overcompensate. It all makes perfect sense now.
   Boy wonder indeed.

2. Ken Summers says:

   January 25, 2006 at 9:51 am

   Did Einstein ever have kids?

3. The_Real_JeffS says:

   January 25, 2006 at 9:52 am

   Yeah, but what does this say about Batgirl? Huh? Huh?

4. Ken Summers says:

   January 25, 2006 at 10:06 am

   Batgirl has even smaller testicles than the others. But she’s got some great TOWACAs.

5. Cullen says:

   January 25, 2006 at 10:14 am

   She was probably a lesbian. Given the Batman’s overactive cranium. Or she was getting it from the Penguin.

6. Ken Summers says:

   January 25, 2006 at 10:18 am

   And why not? I hear Burgess Meredith was quite a hit with the ladies.

7. Cullen says:

   January 25, 2006 at 10:32 am

   But Cesar Romero was the one to fiddle around with the ladies when there were all hot and bothered.

8. major dad says:

   January 25, 2006 at 10:33 am

   To my oh so witty spouse; yes we are pigs but the trough is still full and always will be i.e. the Coors Twins and the Godaddy girl. Diet makes the man and we feed from the trough.

9. Ken Summers says:

   January 25, 2006 at 10:56 am

   Don’t forget the Swedish Bikini Team.

10. John says:

    January 25, 2006 at 11:59 am

    My wife sent it to me with an email to the effect that this study was proof that men think with their gonads, and that the two parts are interchangeable.

11. tree hugging sister says:

    January 25, 2006 at 12:19 pm

    “Gonads” being the technical term, as we’ve all learned.

12. John says:

    January 25, 2006 at 3:23 pm

    Well, she does hold a Ph.D. in Chemistry – can’t get much more technical than that.

13. tree hugging sister says:

    January 25, 2006 at 3:59 pm

    How many months ago did we discuss the ‘scientific term’ in another post? I’m still reeling from the knowledge that it is one and not the slang I thought it was.

14. Mr. Bingley says:

    January 25, 2006 at 4:17 pm

    Gonads?
    What about “Go ‘Cocks!

15. tree hugging sister says:

    January 25, 2006 at 5:03 pm

    Those are chickens, Bingster.
    As John should be…

16. Ken Summers says:

    January 25, 2006 at 7:27 pm

    Well, John, to be REALLY technical about it, they’re only “gonads” before they differentiate into male or female forms.

17. Ken Summers says:

    January 25, 2006 at 7:28 pm

    I thought we cleared that point up months ago.
    [ducks]

18. The_Real_JeffS says:

    January 26, 2006 at 12:38 am

    Ducks? What happened to goats, Ken?

19. Ken Summers says:

    January 26, 2006 at 8:29 am

    Et tu, Jeff?