Shockingly, His Name Isn’t McCartney

Though I’m sure Macca was often tempted

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. — A Florida man is accused of ripping off his wife’s prosthetic leg during a fight after leaving a sports bar.
Officers in Port St. Lucie said they found a 29-year-old woman in a sport utility vehicle Tuesday night with a bruised eye and missing a leg and pants.
Police then questioned the woman’s husband, Luis Ramirez, 35, who said he was arguing with his wife after leaving a bar, TCPalm reported. He denied stealing her leg.
The woman told police that Ramirez became possessed and started screaming.
Ramirez was jailed on battery charges, Local 6 reported.

For those non-lawyers amongst our readership: “stealing a leg” in Florida is not a felony…it’s a “misde-femur.”

14 Responses to “Shockingly, His Name Isn’t McCartney”

  1. gregor says:

    He’s here all week folks…
    Be sure to try the veal and remember to tip your waiter and waitress…

  2. Mr. Bingley says:

    You think I should slip in that PayPal link now?

  3. Dave E. says:

    Well, I wouldn’t count on Mrs. Ramirez footing the bill.

  4. Mr. Bingley says:

    Dave, that pun was prosthetic.

  5. Cullen says:

    Damn, there’s no kneed for this kind of behavior.

  6. The_Real_JeffS says:

    This must be a variation of “Break a leg, honey!”
    Not that she would be worrying about an acting career in a joint like that.

  7. Cullen says:

    Stockingly, I keep looking at the story from different ankles. Still, I can’t come up with any decent justifica-shin for the man’s actions.

  8. Mr. Bingley says:

    Cullen, try this on for thighs: maybe he has a tendon-cy or perhaps a weak knees for limb-er women.

  9. Cullen says:

    Bing, all things being equal, I don’t think your theory has a leg to stand on. Sure, when one is in the toes of passhin, one might just sock it to ’em, but that doesn’t make one less of a heel.

  10. Dave E. says:

    I calf to agree with Cullen.

  11. Kate P says:

    Wait, nobody’s talking about the fact that her *pants* were also missing? I’m toe-tally surprised by that.

  12. nightfly says:

    At least she’s still alive and kicking. But who’s going to foot the bill at the bar?

  13. Maybe it was bitterbeerbreath. Easy fix ~ if you can’t lick a lollipop, ligament. Emotions tendon calm down quickly afterward.

  14. Kate P says:

    I agree, THS. Sweets can pedicure many a bad feeling.

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