Sorry, Science

These

Tyrannosaurus rex
Length: 40-50 feet
Weight: 6 tons
Fear factor: teeth up to 13 inches long
Lived: 65 million years ago Where: North America
Giganotosaurus
Length: 47 feet
Weight: 8 tons
Fear factor: 8-inch-long serrated teeth
Lived: 95 million years ago Where: Argentina
Spinosaurus
Length: 55 feet
Weight: 8 tons
Fear factor: long, crocodile-like jaws
Lived: 100 million years ago Where: Argentina, Morocco, Tunisia, Algeria scale)

…all pale in significance next to the dreaded

Ebolasaurus Wrecks

Length: here to there
Weight: 8 tons (of filched food and gasoline a week)
Fear Factor: long, crocodile-like jaws in a gaping maw announcing “Hey Mom, I’m home!”
Lived: in dark, dank, foul smelling, goo-encrusted, cave-like…wait. Where: That’s his room.

Lisa? Cindermutha? CRUSADER??? Take heed. And be afraid…be very afraid…

4 Responses to “Sorry, Science”

  1. Ebola says:

    Hey, not my fault that I moved out and you turned my damn room into a god damn fallout bunker. =P

  2. Lisa says:

    We already have the cave. It is littered with the bones of XBox games.

  3. The_Real_JeffS says:

    Weight: 8 tons (of filched food and gasoline a week)
    Ebola drinks gasoline? Must be his Marine heritage.

  4. Ebola says:

    If 3 day old coffee can be turned into gasoline, yeah, I probably drink more than that a week. Career in sales with Marine Corps genes, perfect mix for my next ulcer. =P

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