The Long Cold Fingers of PC Strike Again…

TOKYOA tussle has broken out in Japan’s tradition-bound sumo world over the right to wear pants in the ring.

Please Joe! Say it ain’t so.

16 Responses to “The Long Cold Fingers of PC Strike Again…”

  1. Mr. Bingley says:


  2. Gives a whole new meaning to thunder thighs. I’m sure John will second my groan of agony at the memory of Sumo Tournament time in Japan. Week after interminable week of

  3. Gunslinger says:

    “Pubescent kids are not going to want to take part if they don’t look cool,” Yomiuri quoted one local amateur sumo official as saying.
    A 400+lb. man in bicycle shorts will never look cool no matter how hard you try.

  4. Mr. Bingley says:

    That is such a friggin’ awesome picture, sis.

  5. The Real JeffS says:

    With running commentary, THS. Don’t forget the running commentary.

  6. You’re right, JeffS! I must have buried that in my subconscious, trying desperately never to remember the droning horror of it all.
    Thanks buddy.

  7. The Real JeffS says:

    The sad thing is, I was in Japan for all of 2 weeks. It was an OCONUS AT with my Guard unit, and we went with I Corps to a Yama Sakura exercise. We were planted on a Japanese Army, er, ah, Ground Self-Defense Force base. I checked out their PX a few times. The TV set in the lobby was always on Sumo wrestling, and a couple times some wiseass turned the channel to where the commentator spoke English.
    I mean, what the heck can you discuss here, folks? Two fat dudes wearing slightly scaled up G-strings are grabbing rolls of fat in an attempt to throw their opponent outside a circle. And the pit is sand. I hope feral cats don’t get near this place! Probably not, as the cats are rightfully afraid of getting mooned through the offices of an errant Sumo-sized G-string.
    But the commentator tried. I shouldn’t have listened, but it was hypnotic. When I finally broke myself of the spell, I was scarred for life. It took intensive counseling and intense alcoholic consumption, but now I am normal again. Except for the occasional nightmare after a day on the beach.

  8. John says:

    Actually, THS, I kind of like Sumo. I never listened to the commentary in English though – half the fun is the archaic Japanese words. My wife became addicted because we moved there during the big New Year’s tournament, I had not yet bought the satellite dish, and it was the only thing on Japanese TV she could understand. After I bought the dish, she would still actually turn off English-language TV to watch it.
    During one of the matches we watched, one of the thongs actually came off in the opponent’s hands. The naked guy was being thrown, and moving too fast to see much, but talk about scarred for life…

  9. The Real JeffS says:

    Probably just culture shock for me, John. Until then, all the wrestling I had ever watched was mud wrestling by almost naked chicks. I avoided the WWF. Sumo was ……. different. Sigh. Time for more counseling. 😉

  10. John says:

    JeffS: I just noticed this: you went on a Military exercise named “Mountain Cherry Blossom”?!? What the heck did you do, get drunk under the trees? 😉

  11. “Mountain Cherry Blossom”?!?
    Sounds kinda ‘poof’, doesn’t it John? Considering the bulk of the fellow grappling in the altogether, I doubt much would have been seen had he been motionless. And I try not to think of the sand, JeffS. How icky. (By the way, I just emailed you a Sumo Pepsi commercial. Always pertinent to the discussion at hand am I.)
    I seem to have a knack for arriving on foreign shores during excruciating local tournaments. Even on my solo sojourn to Scotland, what happened? The independent TV channels were all on strike, so the tube was nothing but BBC1 and…well…BBC2. BBC1 had 24/7 coverage of the National Pub Darts Championships. A quick switch over to BBC2 enabled one to partake of the breathtaking action that makes up the National Indoor Badminton Championships. Being a fan of manly men and brawny brawlers, I cast my lot in with door number one. Until the gradual numbing effect brought on each evening by massive quantities of MacEwan’s took hold and I slipped mercifully into dreamland.

  12. The_Real_JeffS says:

    I got the e-mail, THS! Thanks….highly appropriate!
    John, I dunno “Mountain Cherry Blossom” from a geisha girl. All I remmber is that the OPORD said “YAMA SAKURA 41”, and my commander handing me this joint movement request. And Sumos. Let’s not forget the Sumos. Well, we should forget them, but I can’t. All that sand around here….thank God no one wears thong underwear……
    I did get blasted one night, since the Japanese love drinking games. That soju (spelling?) is as bad as Everclear. I really prefer the Japanese beer, that’s GOOD stuff! I brought a lovely collection of Japanese beer posters (complete with suitably clad attractive Japanese women) home that helped offset those awful memories (SUMOS!!!! ACK!! GASP!!!).
    Otherwise, I helped I Corps look good. That was it.
    “Mountain Cherry Blossoms”…..?

  13. Oh goody! I thought it was a hoot. And I can be of some help with the blossoms things, as ‘Yama’ translates to mountain and ‘sakura’ is cherry blossom/tree. But ‘sakura’ also translates to decoy, so ‘mountain decoy’ would make sense for people in camouflage. Bueno. We’ll leave your poufy cherry blossom adventures and thong fixations alone. As for ‘soju’, that’s actually a nasty libation of Korean concoction, no doubt smuggled in by the jarheads in your company. It should come with a warning label. Japanese beers, I agree, are loverly. My favorite being Suntory which I cannot get my twitchy fingers on here, stateside. If I can’t have that, it is nice to see the big Sapporo cans (yum!), Asahi and a few other notables edging out that gacky Kirin for shelf space.

  14. The_Real_JeffS says:

    Soju! Ack! Pfui!!
    Ah, Sapporo, Asahi! My mouth waters! MMMMMMMMM!!!
    Better stop here, less I run screaming over the horizon…..
    BTW, your cookies are universally loved here! I had to stuff the bag under my shirt to get them back to the hooch reasonably intact.

  15. Defend the cookies at all costs!!!

  16. Nightfly says:

    We have a Honk Kong market near my house – lots of goodies of all sorts from all over the East. (Or am I allowed to call it the Orient in here?) A fascinating place even if you don’t dig any of the food.

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