The Saddest Day Of The Year

Well, for me it is at any rate. Tonight Friends I will sleep the enervating sleep of the Damned for today, ah for today I had to do that task which gnaws at the very roots of my soul, that task which causes me most grievous anguish, that task which forces me to inflict untold pain, punishment, misery and suffering upon those who are most innocent, yea those whose very being these shaking, agonizing hands of mine brought into this cruel, heartless and ultimately pathetic world.

Yes, Friends, today I had to prune my vines.

Now, it may not look like I did much to them…and I didn’t. I just don’t have the fortitude to prune them to the degree that “the books” declare I must. Ah, those books! Can’t they hear the cries as each snip cruelly severs yet another limb from my beloved vines? Oh sure they claim it’s for the best, they say it makes them stronger.

Tell that to the discarded branches cast away on the brush pile, joyously bedecked in buds that will never get to becomes leaves or grape clusters because of some book’s “advice”.

10 Responses to “The Saddest Day Of The Year”

  1. Cullen says:

    Truly you are a devil.

  2. Dave E. says:

    Tough love is never easy.

  3. JeffS says:

    Think of it as “tough love”, Mr. B.

  4. Mr. Bingley says:

    I feel like I have a role in “The Silence Of The Vines”…

  5. Syd says:

    Lord of the Vines – Trilogy

    Written by:
    Edward Scissorhands.

  6. Gary from Jersey says:

    If you had even a shred of Mother Theresa in you you’d root those innocent victims. (She had something to say about the sanctity of life but I forget most of it.)

  7. JeffS says:

    Gary, do you mean “root” in the American meaning of the word, or in the Australian meaning?

  8. Gary from Jersey says:

    I didn’t know Oz-ites had slang for that, too. But I really like Root Rat because that’s how we say Roof Rack in Jersey.

  9. Bah. Rip them out and burn them.

    Plant barley and hops, God’s Crops™.

  10. Wow it even rhymes. Even more reason to plant them.

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