Tonight’s Bedtime Story

From our good friends at Bloody Scott

A junior schoolteacher, in Wiltshire gave her class a year 2007 assignment… get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. So, the next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Katy said, “My father’s a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess”
“And what’s the moral of the story?” asked the teacher.
“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!”
“Very good,” said the teacher.”
Lucy, now you.””Our family are farmers too, Miss. But we raise chickens for the butcher’s shop. We had a dozen eggs at one time, but when they hatched we only got five chicks.
And the moral of this story is, don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched.”
“That was a fine story, Lucy. Holly, do you have a story to share?”
“Yes, miss, my daddy told me this story about my Uncle Rod.
Uncle Rod is a Harrier pilot in Afghanistan and he got shot down. He had to bail out into Al Quaida territory, and all he had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and machete. …Well, he drank the whisky on the way down, so it wouldn’t break, and then he landed right in the middle of 100 Al Quaida rag-heads armed with AK47’s. He killed seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke and then he killed the last ten with his bare hands.”
“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher. “What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?”

“Don’t fuck with Uncle Rod when he’s been drinking.”

3 Responses to “Tonight’s Bedtime Story”

  1. Gunslinger says:

    AHAHAHAHAHA!!! Excellent!

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