C’mon, admit it. You all feel their siren call, that little voice in your head that says “just do it.”

Oh wait, that’s the Nike commercial.

Anyhow, who amongst us hasn’t felt at one time or another that urge to say giggle in a Library or fart in an elevator or, my personal favorite, use a carpenter’s saw on public transportation

Seriously. Dear Ave, having been aware of my proclivities for several decades now, made sure to point out this particular prohibition on my visit to Zurich this week. When you take the tram from the airport into town every car has this WARNING sticker affixed to it with these little diagrams showing you that you can’t play guitar and sing on the train, you can’t place your mountain-spike-clad boots on the seats, you can’t smoke…and you can’t hack the seats with a saw.

It does boggle the mind somewhat that those reserved Swiss felt that this was such a major point of concern that it deserved its own warning placard.

16 Responses to “Urges”

  1. tree hugging sister says:

    I’m sure what sweet sister Ave is NOT telling you ~ probably to save your tender feelings, though WHY (after how you treated Buttercup), I have no idea ~ is that those signs ONLY made an appearence just days prior to your visit. I’m sure they’re being taken down now as I write.

    Your reputation for mayhem precedes you.

  2. Dave E. says:

    Wait a minute. If the activity is prohibited isn’t there supposed to be a diagonal red slash in that circle? Bingley, they’re telling you to cut that seat up! Grab that saw and get to it, man!

  3. tree hugging sister says:

    No, Dave. Sheesh. The circle says, “Watch for Bingley and his saw when you’re on the train with him! He looks like ‘this’.” For a guy who hunts a lot, you sure are confoosed about the whole ‘target’ concept…

  4. Dan Collins says:

    I think it’s saying don’t cut your head off with a saw, isn’t it?

    I hear they’re thinking about legalizing consensual incest.

  5. Mr. Bingley says:

    Maybe it’s an advert for an amputation service?

  6. Gary from Jersey says:

    Bring a drill next time.

  7. Ave says:

    Only by Divine Grace did Bingley’s questionable proclivities remain unnoticed by the Polizei as he madly dashed from beer garden to bar. I tell you, it was quite a trial.

  8. Mr. Bingley says:

    “I tell you, it was quite a trial.”

    As evidenced by a certain person’s hangover the next morning.

    I’m sorry, did I say hangover? I meant “seasonal allergy.”

  9. Ave says:

    That wasn’t a hangover, it was a stress headache.

  10. Mr. Bingley says:

    The only stress was on Zurich’s beer supply.

  11. Ave says:


  12. Dave E. says:

    Well, THS, I didn’t think that Bingley was in season yet. My mistake.

  13. barking spider says:

    I think it means, “Damaging the mechanism has (stratfrechliche) consequences.” I have no idea what that one word means.

  14. Ave says:

    My dictionary says “strafrechtliche” means “criminally prosecutable” but I rather think it means Bingley could have been strafed.

  15. greg newsom says:

    It’s those Swiss army knives and their 17 blades.

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