We **HEART** Swillers!

Happy Valentine’s Day, each and every one! In the spirit of the day (the ancient spirit, not the Chicago-style celebration), we’d like to open the post to poetic odes scribed by YOU, celebrating the personage who most exemplifies ‘joie de vivre’ (politics, entertainment, global warming, whatever) in your humble eyes. (A WSS to Capt. Ed) We will have a POETRY contest, you will all cast votes, the winner will be announced and awarded an authentic, good as new, “Sod Off Swampy” mug! Hot DAMN!

So, unquiver those iambic arrows and let the love shafts fly!

22 Responses to “We **HEART** Swillers!”

  1. John says:

    “let the love shafts fly!”
    That’s what got me into the trouble I’m in now.

  2. ‘Tis neither the time nor the place for tawdry confessionals, John.

  3. Susanna says:

    Breitbart’s Valentine to Tammy Bruce is a thing of beauty, no?

  4. ‘Tis! But completely ineligible under the rules. Crittenden’s poem, OTH, is the perfect example.

  5. Oh! I forgot the usual disclaimers ~ no goats were harmed during this posting, no f-bombs were used in it’s inception rendering us available should the Edwards campaign call (I heard they were f*cking looking for someone)(sh*t!), no alcohol was involved unless it’s noon somewhere in the world and no employee of the Coalition of the Swilling/member of TOWACA¬© Press International can vote for himself…
    BINGLEY
    …multiple times.
    If you don’t like the rules, move.

  6. Roses are red, violets are blue
    That’s all I got so far but I’ll keep working on it.

  7. DirtCrashr says:

    Roses are red, violets are blue
    Rudy doesn’t care about the 2nd Amendment
    as it pertains to me and you.
    Rhubarb is Red and the damn Grass is Green
    McCain doesn’t mind trampling free-speech,
    WTF was he ganging-up with the traitor Feingold?

  8. And that roles effortlessly off the tongue…

  9. DirtCrashr says:

    You’re supposed to swirl it around in the glass and then sploosh it around in the mouth…
    Rutabagas are green, fungus-spores are black
    Obama said our soldier’s lives have been wasted
    and wants to bring them all in defeat back.

  10. Mr. Bingley says:

    “Evergreen”, rewritten for Dennis Kucinich
    Brains, soft as an easy chair
    In a head that’s mostly air
    One man seemingly cut in two
    I have found with you
    Like my skin burns in the August sun
    Or the ship that crashed into Area 51
    Strange, clueless and evergreen
    Dennis, dear, that’s you.

  11. The_Real_JeffS says:

    Murtha, Murtha, come hither thou!
    Pray, accept from me
    My deepest vow
    of love and feality!
    I hear your voice, firm and clear
    whenever your printed words do appear
    My knees, they always quake
    whenever your picture they take
    Murtha, Murtha, come hither thou!
    Your mind doth inspire
    Truly, beyond all doubt
    Such that I give the order to fire
    And kill Yankee soldiers all about!
    Murtha, Murtha, come hither thou!
    Pray, Murtha, cease not your fight
    Continue your battle without rest
    With time, all will be right
    When America we will best!
    Murtha, Murtha, come hither thou!
    Tomorrow, together, we will stand as one
    Allies of the heart and mind
    America will fall down and into ruin
    And what we have sought we both shall find.
    Murtha, Murtha, come hither thou!
    A love sonnet penned by Osama bin Laden. Or should be.
    Inspired by this.

  12. Susanna says:

    “It’s Hard Out Here For A Simp”, rewritten for Dennis Kucinich
    You know it’s hard out here for a simp (you ain’t knowin)
    When he tryin’ to get this money for the campaign (you ain’t knowin’)
    Livin’ in Buicks and Hondas and Fords, no gas money spent (you ain’t knowin’)
    Because a whole lot of bitches talkin sh*t (you ain’t knowin’)
    Will have a whole lot of bitches talkin sh*t (you ain’t knowin’)
    My four eyes I done seen some crazy thangs in the Ohio streets
    Gotta couple interns workin on the changes for me
    But I gotta keep my game tight like Gore on election night
    Don’t be takin’ from a ho don’t know no better, that ain’t right…
    It’s hard out here for a simp.
    (work in progress – straight up gangsta sh*t)

  13. colin says:

    Ode to Hilary
    You always look like you’re having fun
    Chimpmunk cheeks full of joy
    Smiling face sometimes distant, always pleasant
    Hair looks happy-er, clothes more relaxed
    Sometimes on TV we smile with you
    ’cause Bill is gone, you are the one
    Official events standing straight
    Looking up at flag poles high
    Debating foe with clarity and depth
    Recalling stats with ease and wit
    Standing tall, with pride, in heels
    Music plays, flags unfurl
    I know you could love me
    If I were a gurl.

  14. Where’s Henry Gibson when we need him?

  15. Susanna says:

    (can I vote for Colin?)

  16. No, you may not. It’s a contest about politicians, not mountain climbers.

  17. BUENO! Wonderful entries. I’ll leave it open for another day or so (in case someone’s midnight inspiration strikes) and then solicit votes for the Bard Award.

  18. DirtCrashr says:

    Hang down your Head Jack Murtha,
    Hang down your head and cry,
    What you’re doing to our Troops
    Is why they invented the term fragging.
    Damn I still can’t rhyme.

  19. colin says:

    Ode to Ken
    Fifth time is a charm said the Tree to the corn
    String me along waiting does no harm
    On-ward and upward grow like a weed
    The reaper visits thrice, if he misses on the third
    Banjo playing starch is the best you can be
    Of those that remain my birds will do their best
    Life as alternate fuel, ain’t no better than the rest.

  20. I think I’m honored, but I’m not really sure…

  21. The First Mate’s name was Carter,
    By damn he was a Farter!
    When the wind wouldn’t blow,
    and the ship wouldn’t go;
    They got Carter, the Farter, to Start’Er!
    (excised from a naval ditty learned when I was a great deal younger!)

  22. colin says:

    Susanna nearly voted for me.
    Bless her cotton socks.
    Where’s my SOS mug
    Or at least a piece of cake..

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