Weekend Calorification To Help Ensure Gaia’s Doom

As you may well recall Dear Readers we reported last week that there is GROWING CONCERN amongst the world’s really intelligent and compassionate peoples that fat Americans are dooming the planet.

So to do my Fair Share I made somewhat over 4 pounds of mussels for us on Friday night

washed down with several bottles of pinot grigio and a few fresh baguettes, naturally

And then on Saturday I decided to travel to the epicenter of ‘Merkun epicurean delights, what could well be the very St. Peters locus of our gluttonous theology…yes, I went to Walmart.

And I got their cheapest bacon

and I got some of their fancy organic free-range chicken…which are no where near as endowed as the Pamelas from other places

carefully slice a pocket and place some freshly cut mozzarella

and fresh basil leaves inside

and wrap them lovingly in as many slices of bacon as needed and secure with toothpicks

yes, basically the entire pound of bacon was used on these three Pamelas. This is a good thing.

Anyhooo put those beauts on the grill over indirect heat and cook until the bacon is crispy in the wonderful bacony way

serve with some fresh steamed broccoli and wild rice (making sure to take the toothpicks out of the Pamelas so you’re not dialling 9-1-1 during dinner) and serve with lots of wine

and enjoy doing your part to destabilize the world!

8 Responses to “Weekend Calorification To Help Ensure Gaia’s Doom”

  1. Syd B. says:

    I think it moved.

  2. Mr. Bingley says:

    Contrary to today’s news story, Syd, the ocean level off the East Coast of the US is not rising but rather our land is sinking due to my extra caloricality-infused activities.

  3. Kate P says:

    Those are some stellar looking meals. Did you drink the wine out of Big Gulp cups to annoy the food nannies, too?

  4. Mr. Bingley says:

    Dammit, why didn’t I think of that, Kate?

  5. Michael Lonie says:

    C’est le Poulet Cordon Rouge a la Monsieur Bingley.

    Broccoli? How about steamed asparagus spears with hollandaise sauce instead (in aid of putting on the lard)?

    I have no grill. Do you think I could make it with the oven’s broiler?

  6. Mr. Bingley says:

    I would bake it Michael. I think that way at the somewhat lower temp you’d be sure to cook the buzzard all the way through. I would think 325 would be more than sufficient to both crisp the bacon and cook the Pamelas. And use the broiling pan to let the bacon grease drip off somewhat.

  7. Mr. Bingley says:

    I would love the asparagus and hollandaise, but it’s sadly been nearly 20 years since I’ve been able to make that darn sauce and not curdle it. It’s my secret shame.

  8. Love it!
    I’ll be trying that myself as soon as I get my hands on the ingredients!

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