What I’m Eating For The Fourth Of July

As y’all are well aware my Bride has cruelly abandoned me on this most American of holidays. So what’s a fellow to do?
Well, for starters, I will wear a shirt she got for me a few years ago back on the Mississippi

That will set the proper mood, dontcha think?
To help that mood along I made myself a caipirinha

using our buddy Cahaça Dave’s cachaça, Fazenda Mãe de Ouro.

Damned tasty stuff.
Now for fun I had bought a bottle of German Zeller Schwarze Katz wine to have

as it was only $7, but the caipirinha was too damn tasty at the moment, so it had to wait.

Anyhow, I decided that to honor Independence Day I needed to make a meal in honor of a specific government employee, so I decided to make Dave J. Burgers.
Yes, the glorious Dave J. Assistant Prosecutor Burger!
First, take nearly 2 lbs. of ground beef


You’re not interested in…this, are you?

Well, wait a minute.

Ok, go ahead

Now, take whatever beef you’ve been able to save from The Beast™ and form into a flat pattie with a large pocket

and fill the pocket with crumbled blue cheese, then fold it over and seal the blue yumminess inside and liberally coat with fresh ground black pepper and sea salt

Dude, did I forget to feed you?

Throw the patties on the toasty grill

Anyhow, next…oh damn!

Well, let’s make another, shall we?
First, grab a lime

cut off the skin (the secret to reducing the bitterness)

Cut the lime into eight pieces and muddle with 4 teaspoons of sugar (more or less to taste)

add about, er, oh, this much cachaça

add ice and stir

and enjoy!
Now, back to Dave J Burger Land…
Take your wedge of Gorgonzola

cut two manly slices and plop them atop the happily flipped grilling burgers

While the cheese is meltulating get the minty condoms, er, condiments ready

Oh Damn! Gone already?

Rats. Anyhow, place the pickles on the potato rolls

followed by the cheesily burgers and top it all off with fresh basil leaves

You know, this black cat cellar wine ain’t so bad

cold, crisp, with a slight raisiny sweetness; 9% alcohol it’s perfect for hot summer nights
and come to Poppa, you Dave J burger, you!

A happy 4th to y’all!

2 Responses to “What I’m Eating For The Fourth Of July”

  1. Erica says:

    Probably completely inappropriate to share but, I just thought I’d tell you that that is a fineass manicure you’ve got there.
    Props to any guy who takes care of his nails and knows how to flip a burger and make a nice cocktail.
    Happy fourth, dude.

  2. Mr. Bingley says:

    And a wonderful 4th to you as well, oh Goddess of Brooklyn!

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