When Visiting the Garden State, DON’T Drink the Water and ESPECIALLY

…don’t eat the squirrels.

New Jersey has warned squirrel hunters near a toxic waste dump about consuming the critters because they could be contaminated with lead.
It is the first time the state has cautioned Ringwood residents, many of whom are members of the Ramapough Mountain Indian tribe who hunt and fish in the area, about their squirrel intake, said Tom Slater, a spokesman for the Department of Health and Senior Services.
…“We’ve known for a long time something was wrong here, we just didn’t know what it was,” resident Myrtle Van Dunk said.

What we need in that state is a little regime change.
Toxic rodent ingestion will be allowed when Bingley gets elected governor.
I promise.

10 Responses to “When Visiting the Garden State, DON’T Drink the Water and ESPECIALLY

  1. nobrainer says:

    I quit eating squirrels after I read they were high in cholesterol.

  2. Mr. Bingley says:

    Yes, dearest Myrtle, something is wrong here.
    The cholesterol was in that BBQ sauce you kept slathering on them, NB; just a little salt and pepper and they’re tasty! Tastes like tree rat.

  3. (They ARE tree rats, astute one. Dear John Kerry Bingley ~ check with me before you issue any more public statements or we’re sunk.)

  4. Mr. Bingley says:

    I was against tree rats before i was for eating them.

  5. John says:

    Didja know that the Chinese for squirrel literally is “pine tree rat”?

  6. Hai dozo.
    Well, I did not, but I am not surprised in the least. Thank you for using an ancient standard to bolster my argument, John. Bingley will now DEFINATELY have to remove those Chinese characters he had tattooed on his bumrush which, as he’s often insisted, meant “ancient seat of cosmic stool of infinate wisdom“.

  7. I meant to say ‘tool‘ but same difference.

  8. Mr. Bingley says:

    As it’s the getting-ancient seat of my current stool, you’re pretty close.

  9. Nightfly says:

    Under Hizzoner Bingley, toxic rodent ingestion will be REQUIRED among certain segments of the population.

  10. The NJ State slogan ” Mad as pine tree ratter ”

Image | WordPress Themes