Why Bingley Doesn’t Figure Skate

He can’t think of things like this to say:

“Figure skating is an amazing ride,” Weir said. “You’re feeling like the lowest scum in the pond two hours ago, and go to the prettiest flower in the pond…”

Bingley has no such poetry in his soul. And has refused to wear any less than both ruby red gloves ever since Michael Jackson broke his heart.

5 Responses to “Why Bingley Doesn’t Figure Skate”

  1. Weir-do says:

    “I mean one minute you’re face down in the gutter clutching a bottle of Thunderbird fill with paint thinner, and the next minute you’re… you’re ME!”

  2. Susanna says:

    I searched for an author, it is only attributed to the AP.
    I bet it was written by some disgruntled sports reporter who was supposed to be on the NHL beat and got replaced by another writer.

  3. Mr. Bingley says:

    No, I don’t wear either glove any more, Miss Smartypants.

  4. Lisa says:

    A just walked up and said, “Is that a BOY?”

  5. major dad says:

    Words escape me except maybe “fruit loop”. No GUY straight or gay says things like that.

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