You Can Get Online
…but you can never leave.
How hard can it be to cancel an AOL account?
One man’s frustrating call, caught on tape, resounds in the blogosphere
…CNBC later interviewed Ferrari by phone about his experience. “I’ve never ever experienced anything like that,” he said.
He recounts how the AOL representative as a last resort even asked if his dad was home.
“I think I could’ve put up with everything, but at the point when he asked to speak to my father, I came very close to losing it at that point,” said 30-year-old Ferrari.
UPDATE: Vincent’s Blog and THE PHONE CALL.
AOL Guy: I don’t know what anyone’s done to you, Vincent…
Vincent: You’re annoying the SHIT out of me, that’s what you’re doing.
Good Lord, Vincent. You win a Warm Swill jelly donut for not going berserk.
Fun | tree hugging sister | 
June 21, 2006 1:27 pm
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It’s true. I just pay the the minimum $5/month instead of trying to cancel the account.
When i was handling check card disputes, I used to dread dealing with AOHell, as they got the most complaints.
I canceled it but it took a long time. They finally had me on with some grandmotherly-voiced old lady who pretended to not understand and kept acting like she thought I wanted to keep the account, even using words like “Dear” to me and saying things like, “Ok so you want to keep the account dear, bye-bye” and about to hang up ON ME – it was pathetically hilarious and I think it was the most times I had ever said “No” consecutively, it was just “No No No No No No No No”…on and on.
I love the response from AOL customer service: “we have zero tolerance for things like this.” Yeah, jerk-offs. Zero tolerance for employees who don’t carry it out.
I had a similar experience when I tried to cancel my Earthlink account. I’d heard about these high-pressured tactics of ISPs, so I thought I could play it safe by saying my computer was busted and it was going to be an indefinite period of time before I could get a new one.
“Well, about how long do you think it will be?”
“I have no idea. At least six months.”
“We could simply put your account on hold for two months until…”
“No, just cancel the account.”
“What about if we agree to pay your bill for six mo…”
“No, just cancel the account.”
“How about if…”
“No, just cancel the account.”
“But wha…”
“No, just cancel the account.”
Grrrr.
Lemme tell you, I would be willing to pay some serious dining out charges to hear Kcruella when she FINALLY dumps these guys…it’s gonna be worth every penny if she records it ~ a veritable classic for the ages.
I really never understood why anyone put up with their BS to begin with. I mean, what you have to go through to actually get ONline, then half your screen is eaten by all their crap anyway, GOD. I always figured I was paying for the right to have the whole screen to myself. And don’t even get me started on the mailbox swallowing properties of their mailings…
Went through that years ago. Um…1200 baud modems, anyone?
Finally got out by sending a nastygram to Stevie Case hisself. 1 day later, voila.
The best thing to come from the experience with “Grandma” and saying “No” is that I said it so many damn freakin’ times that I’m completely happy saying it now – it was an exercise in self-assertion and validation, now the words just easily roll off my lips, “Sorry man,” “Uh-huh,” “No, “No way dude,” “Can’t do it,” “Not gonna happen,” “No,” – Just NO.
I got bored and had to extemporize it. But it remains fully functional in a way it never was before – do-able: No No No No no no no no no no! Which is a needful thing when Voting comes around.
I am a ray of sunshine and I am sure my good nature and attitude will radiate thru the phone to the AOL people.
Yes you are and I’m sure it will…