Death With Dynamity

Got a sick whale who’s looking for compassionate care? Don’t send him or her to Australia…they have whale death panels

Australian officials used explosives to blow up a terminally ill humpback whale that became stranded on a beach near Perth two weeks ago.

And let’s not forget those clever Taiwanese, who trick their ill whales into blowing themselves up.

How Do You Say “Pinto”

…in Italian?

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) — Ferrari is recalling its new 458 Italia model after several vehicles were reported to have burst into flames.

…Deliveries of the car in the U.S. began this summer. It has a 4.5-liter 8-cylinder engine, 7-speed automatic transmission, 570 horsepower and has a base price around $230,000.

That would…suck.

MUST…Not JINX…MUST…SOMEhow…Control…

…leg tingles…

…If anything, we have been conservative in estimating the probable GOP House gains, if the election were being held today.”

Weak…weak…I…just…

CAN’T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nothing

Just waiting for earl to mess up my coif and humming my song.

Democratic Reality Check Time! Survey Says:

Wyden Pushing For Oregon Waiver From Health Care Law, Individual Mandate

One of the most innovative voices in the health care debate, Senator Ron Wyden (D-Ore.), is accelerating the process of exempting his state from some of the national reforms passed under President Barack Obama.

The Oregon Democrat is seeking to take advantage of a provision he helped write into the legislation that allows states to set up their own health care systems as long as they meet minimal requirements established by the Department of Health and Human Services. In a letter to the state’s Health Authority office, Wyden announced that he will introduce legislation to accelerate the start date for state waivers from 2017 to 2014, if not earlier for Oregon specifically.

Pretty dirty pool, wouldn’t you say? You know what I say?

The Democrats shoved it down ALL our throats?

Then they should ALL have to SWALLOW ~ even Wydens Weasels who wrote themselves an Emergency Election Escape clause.

UPDATE: This is all part and parcel of Pelosi’s, “But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it…”

-“I said you had to READ it, little people…”

A part Allah and Ed found out EVERYONE missed (per the plan) way back in MARCH, that has suddenly become a Democratic Election Emergency Chute Deployment for Oregon.

It’s a crying shame about the rest of us back here in the undrained swamp in states that either had Republicans for Senators, or Senators who tried to work their “get out of jail free” card deals out in the open (“transparently”, à la both Nelsons, for example), and who rightfully got pilloried by the rest of a really pissed-off country.

Wyden’s D.C. office phone is 202-224-5244 and I’m getting the Portland office as 503-326-7543.

I’m thinking about calling Bill Nelson and telling him I want the same deal. We’re ALL Americans, right?

A NSFW Song

Via Tim, this may be the best song you’ll hear all year. I guarantee you’ll be happily singing it all night

An amazing voice and hilarious lyrics.

Further Proof Of The Coming Zombie Apocalypse

I was driving home from the gym tonight after working on my Apollonian Dionysian physique and in front of me was a pizza delivery ‘mobile and it turned into a cemetery. Well, alright, the car did not transform into a graveyard but rather exited the road we were on to make a delivery to the cemetery.

Brain pizza.

Hold the garlic.

Ignore these signs at your peril.

Murkowski Concedes

I have to say I’m happy with this

Incumbent Lisa Murkowski has conceded to challenger Joe Miller in the Republican primary for U.S. Senate.

Speaking to reporters at her campaign headquarters in Anchorage, Murkowski said “based on where we are right now, I don’t see a scenario where the primary will turn out in my favor.”

We need to shake DC up.

Bingley in ’12!

Fungi Ain’t Fungible

But fools are

MILAN (Reuters) – At least 18 mushroom-lovers have been killed in accidents while hunting for their favorite fungi in the mountains and forests of northern Italy.

Mountain rescuers say eager mushroom seekers are abandoning safety procedures as they don camouflage and hunt in darkness to protect coveted troves, la Repubblica newspaper reported on Sunday.

…Seventeen people have died in nine days — six in 48 hours alone — mostly from sliding off steep, damp slopes in the northern mountains, la Repubblica said in a story headlined “the massacre of the mushroom hunters.”

Steep, damp slopes are nothing to truffle with!

After All That Life Extending Drinking, Some Green Technology Should Come In VERY Handy

Especially if one’s a trifle…unsteady. This’ll keep you in one place for the potty visit and you’re back at the bar in a SNAP! ~ with none of those ugly forehead welts from falling onto the sink lip trying to wash your hands afterwards (which we know ALL of you nasty boys do).
Lava las manos!

(A warm Swill salute to WattsUpWithThat.)

Swilling: Your Life Extender

Yet further evidence via HotAir that we here at the Swilling should be your Go To Site for important lifestyle decisions

One of the most contentious issues in the vast literature about alcohol consumption has been the consistent finding that those who don’t drink actually tend to die sooner than those who do. The standard Alcoholics Anonymous explanation for this finding is that many of those who show up as abstainers in such research are actually former hard-core drunks who had already incurred health problems associated with drinking.

But a new paper in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research suggests that — for reasons that aren’t entirely clear — abstaining from alcohol does actually tend to increase one’s risk of dying even when you exclude former drinkers. The most shocking part? Abstainers’ mortality rates are higher than those of heavy drinkers.

Good food and good grog.

We’re here for you, folks.

Boy! That New Jersey is Really SOMEthing!

Poor old Hurricane Earl is still DAYS away and Bingley’s already driving home in a TOTAL electrical BLACKOUT!

Is this, like, Emergency Services practice, or something?

Plus, he’s whining, because I reminded him (when he called to ask me to check the outage map) NOT to open the refrigerator door.

No frosty beverages to watch it get darker by makes Bingley a sour boy!

As a Wise Man Once Said

“Heh.”

The Jersey Shore’s Newest Cast Member: Earl?

Looks like Labor Day weekend we might have the situation

Not really how I was hoping the Summer would end…

I Guess The Moral Is…

“don’t annoy the cabernet franc”

It is just pulling the Granny Smith tree over

Nasty

Hey Rob

A fig!

Woohoo!

How are the trees on Crab Apple Lane doing?

Easy Friday Night Dinner

I didn’t feel like getting overly complicabobulated after a long week at work so I thought I’d just try making some chicken rolatina-esque things.

While the grill was heating up I took a package of Pamelas

and sliced off roughly 1/4 inch filets

I ended up with about 10 usable ones, and Claude very thoughtfully helped me dispose of the excess. I then put some fresh basil that Daughter has been growing (our new motto is “Think Globally; Gorge Locally”) on each

and then a layer of prosciutto

and then some provolone

and then carefully rolled those puppies up and secured ‘em with a toothpick. I was going to tie them with butcher’s twine, but having been expelled from the cub scouts at an early age for crimes against Nature I missed all the knot-tying lessons so the first one I tied was a mess. Toothpicks worked much better.

Anyhow, so with a light dusting of garlic salt and fresh pepper it was off to the grill for 30 minutes or so of indirect cooking, which gave me time to make a box of Zatarain’s Black Beans and Rice and a loaf of garlic bread (and work my way through another bottle of wine, naturally)

Pretty yum and a lot less work than you would at first think.

Oh, Thank God ~ A Marine

…and a polite one, no? THAT’S the part that gave me pause…

From: Mr. Kenneth Jorge.[U.S Marine Contractor]
2nd Battalion, 25th Marine Regiment,
Kabul Province, Afghanistan.

Good day and compliments. I know this letter will definitely come to you as a huge surprise; I am Mr. Kenneth Jorge, serving in the 2nd Battalion, 25th Marine Regiment which in Security peace keeping and re-construction of the Kabul Province, Afghanistan. I am desperately in need of assistance for a recipient; That, I have summoned up courage to contact you. I am seeking your assistance to evacuate the sum of $10.5million USD (Ten Million, Five Hundred Thousand USD) to
any safe country as far as I can be assured that the fund will be safe in your care until I complete my service here in Afghanistan and proceed to meet you.

SOURCE OF MONEY:
On the 30th April, 2003, when I was in Iraq for peace keeping and for re-construction, I was assigned for some re-construction work in some part of Baghdad , Iraq. During the re-construction works, I discovered some metallic containers hidden behind the false wall of houses which
I assumed that the stash could have been left by fleeing regime leaders. I ordered my assigned military workers to open the containers one after the other and to our amazement, the containers were loaded with monies in different currencies which could amount to some millions of Dollars and other currencies. In the process, we declared some part of the monies and hide some to ourselves which we shared and kept secret till date. You will find more about this fund on the link below, click on the link to read:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2988455.stm

This might appear as an illegal thing to do but I tell you what? No compensation can make up for the risks we have taken with our lives in this hell hole during my stay in Iraq. The above figure was given to me as my share and to conceal this kind of money became a problem for me, so with the help of a British contact working with the UN then (his office enjoys some immunity) I was able to get the package out to a safe location entirely out of trouble spot and deposited it with the Red Cross Office since 2003. This office does not know the real contents of the package as they believe that it was my Family belongings.

My relocation to Afghanistan came to me as a surprise as I have concluded plans to evacuate my fund immediately I conclude my service here in Iraq. Since I’ve been relocated to Afghanistan, I’ve got to know that working in this dangerous Continent with these Ungodly Talibans can cost my life, I have decided to contact you and seek your assistance to act as my recipient to receive my consignment deposited in Iraq. I have now found a secured way of getting the package out of
Iraq to your destination, I do not know for how long I will remain here as I have been lucky to have survived 2 suicide bomb attacks by Pure Divine intervention. I will give you 15% of the total sum.

Contact me as soon as possible through E-mail and declare your interest to assist me so that I can furnish you with more details.

Sincerely,
Mr.Kenneth Jorge.[U.S Marine Contractor]

For a brief second there, I thought he was a Nigerian or something.

Christie Fires Schundler

Via HotAir, it seems Christie has given a message that he doesn’t care what party you are if you lie

It didn’t take long for Chris Christie to react to a video of his education commissioner that contradicted his public assertion that New Jersey had supplied the correct numbers for the Race to the Top fund in Washington. Christie fired Bret Schundler after the video from the Race to the Top review showed that Schundler had not provided the numbers in question

I frankly never understood why Schundler was picked in the first place; from what I remember his only foray into education prior to this was being the poster boy for school vouchers.

Schundler’s short tenure was problematic before this, and a good part of that was due to him thinking rather highly of himself as this quote from today’s Asbury Park Press shows:

“I thought the governor and I made a very good team,” he said, adding that he felt he and Christie were on the verge of enacting monumental reforms. “Education commissioners aren’t interchangeable any more than governors are.”

HE is the Governor and YOU are there to enact HIS ideas and serve at HIS discretion.

Another One Under The Bus

Obama has thrown the Greens under the bus

The Obama administration has urged the Supreme Court to toss out an appeals court decision that would allow lawsuits against major emitters for their contributions to global warming, stunning environmentalists who see the case as a powerful prod on climate change.

…Matt Pawa, an attorney representing plaintiffs in the case, said he and his colleagues expected the White House to stay out of the matter. During a meeting with more than 30 administration lawyers at the solicitor general’s office on June 24, it seemed they had “a lot of friends in the room,” he said.

“We feel stabbed in the back,” Pawa said. “This was really a dastardly move by an administration that said it was a friend of the environment. With friends like this, who needs enemies?”

Obama wants to consolidate the power in the EPA and other regulatory agencies.

Power to the…bureaucrats!

(h/t HotAir)

GDP Growth Revised Down Again

Now it’s only 1.6% last quarter versus the original estimate of 2.4

Speaking of pathetic…

I just don’t see it getting any better any time soon.

Update: This is how pathetic things have become: the news wasn’t as craptastic as folks had talked it down to, so stock futures are up.

Pathetic

With all the mismanagement and corruption and incompetence in Albany and throughout every level of our government the best our sterling defenders of public integrity can come up with is an investigation of a goddamned blind guy not paying for tickets to a baseball game?

NEW YORK (CBS 2) — A special investigator said Thursday Gov. David Paterson gave misleading testimony about getting free tickets to a Yankees World Series game last fall.

And he could face criminal charges, reports CBS 2’s Marcia Kramer.

La dee dah.

The government wastes trillions and has put us and our kids on the hook for all of it…and this is how they “clean up.”

Pa-freakin-thetic shiny diversion.

Let Me Follow Up My “Gay Republican” Post With This

Because we have a BIG tent. And I owe you guys.

I Don’t Know If It’s Just Me or Not, But

…I think a lot of people may be missing an important point about the whole ‘Ken Mehlman out of the closet’ thing.

First, I don’t think it’s anybody’s business who consenting adults sleep with, so there. But, the second you’re a public figure, EVERYBODY cares. And the Democratic Party would love nothing MORE right this second than to have TMZ post a picture of the former Republican Party Chair in a liplock with some good looking young guy. Good grief, can you imagine? Le scandale horrible!! And they would flog it for every manufactured outrageous soundbite they could to keep one less second of bad news off the airwaves.

So Mehlman announces, “I’m gay.” Some blog commentors go into religious meltdown, others cover their crotches, but most go, “Whoopdeef*ckindoo/I need to know why??”

But there’s one less thing for Democrats to pull out of their hats distraction/MarK Foley-wise in these next 70 days.

Good. I want them stewing in their own juices the whole time.

UPDATE: Oh, God. Then there’s just some stuff too disgusting for words. Well, their words are too disgusting for…you get it.

We HAVE to beat the Democrats in November. Or Jamie Gumb wins.

Quote Of The Day

Michael Gerson

Still, Democrats hug the hope that Obama is really the liberal Ronald Reagan — but without wit, humor, an explainable ideology or an effective economic plan. Other than that, the resemblance is uncanny.

Heh.