Just When You’ve Thought You’ve Seen It All

You come upon something like this

(BELLEVUE, OH) — Police say a man in Bellevue, Ohio was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.
Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.
The neighbor — who wishes to remain anonymous — saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole in the umbrella to have sex.
The most recent instance took place March 14, we’re told. A neighbor videotaped Price.

My goodness.

114 Responses to “Just When You’ve Thought You’ve Seen It All”

  1. The_Real_JeffS says:

    Not that I’m trying to nip this in the bud, mind you.

  2. The_Real_JeffS says:

    Oh, and thanks, Dave! But don’t forget to thank the staff here at the Coalition. Without them, none of this would be possible.

  3. The_Real_JeffS says:

    After all, we’re playing for high stakes here.

  4. High stakes? Don’t go too far out on that limb, Jeff. Might jump up and hit you in the crotch.

  5. The_Real_JeffS says:

    Better repeating puns, Ken, or I’ll have to throw you in the sprig. I used “limb” earlier, y’know!

  6. The_Real_JeffS says:

    “Better stop repeating puns”, I mean. That mistake nearly boled me over.

  7. The_Real_JeffS says:

    Besides, Ken, you seem to be stalking this thread. Are you trying to needle me or something like that?

  8. The_Real_JeffS says:

    And I’m beginning to wonder if the Bingster and THS are frond of our little competition here.

  9. The_Real_JeffS says:

    I don’t want to shrub off the feelings of our hosts, after all.

  10. Eh. Bings don’t got the cones to do anything.

  11. The_Real_JeffS says:

    We might get pounded into a pulp for all our troubles.

  12. The_Real_JeffS says:

    Well, Ken, that might be a good thing forest indeed. Who wants to stop this thread, after all?

  13. The_Real_JeffS says:

    I understand that THS has a terrible timber, and we wouldn’t want Those Angry Scotties after us, right?

  14. Exactly, Jeff. Don’t want to cypress her too hard.
    And kudos to Mr. B for such a fine thread. End of today it might baobob 200 comments.

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