Looking For The Perfect Gift For The Little Woman?

How about an 8’x 4 1/2′ abstract painting of a Feminine Naughty Bit*?
I didn’t think so.
*Edited for the tender dispositions of some of our faint-hearted contributors.

51 Responses to “Looking For The Perfect Gift For The Little Woman?”

  1. (Did YOU just put the V Word on the front of this tasteful and V-word, P-word AND C-word free blog zone???
    DID YOU??)

  2. Wait a minute! Twennyfivehunnert BUCKS for that?? Oh please, people, buy my paintings. They’re a lot less expensive AND can go over the dining room table in a house with minor children.
    Plus, I’m so damn nice.

  3. Mr. Bingley says:

    It’s a nice word.

  4. Cullen says:

    This is a v-word, p-word, c-word free zone? THS, is there something about you we should know? 😉
    Seriously though that’s just a piece of …

  5. Mr. Bingley says:

    The only prohibition is the c-word.
    She’s just a pussy about the word vagina on the front.


  7. And this is exactly why they don’t allow most people to use eBay at work…

  8. Mr. Bingley says:

    over $5000 now.

  9. Ken Summers says:

    $5000? Jeez, I can fine better porn online for free.

  10. Have you checked what kind of trendy wanna be goobers are bidding on it? Bunch of contemporary artists and interior decorator types. Gads. All SITC wannabes.

  11. And that would be $6240 sumthin now.

  12. Ken Summers says:

    THS, you’ll be proud of me. In my only post to mention the [you know what] Monologues, I did not once use the v-word. However, I did use it in this one.

  13. BLECH!!! and BLECH AGAIN!!
    Yes I would be proud of you for abstaining, but you went and quoted that daffy bitch anyway! Why aren’t these same female organ cleverists talking about what the constitution in Iraq is going to do to the female organs of their Iraqi sisters? Ya know why? Cause it takes a whole lot less effort to sit in the Village, get drunk and opine to similarly stoned, over educated morons, because everyone thinks you’re a genius that way, then hold an outraged press conference to keep the pressure on the administration because they’ve already shot any credibility they had with anyone but Katie Couric. (breath). A cafe society of enablers. Who then paint and purchase similarly vapid, tasteless work to prove how liberated and cutting edgey angry they are.

  14. Mr. Bingley says:

    If it will make you happy Sis I will not use the v-word again. From now on I will refer to it as the Courtney Love.
    Is this acceptable?
    (reposted from the other thread because I am a goober)

  15. (that’s a given)
    She’s almost as tasteless and revolting as the picture, but it’s acceptable.

  16. Suzette says:

    This doesn’t even begin to plumb the depths of tastelessness. There’s more than one V word, you know.

  17. Oh, Suzette! ICK, you’re right. I forgot. Blech and blech again, plus I’m equally sure there’s a painting somewhere. Or will be as soon as they see what this one’s going for.

  18. Mr. Bingley says:

    There’s more than one V word, you know.
    There is?
    Don’t you women ever think of anything else?

  19. SEVENTEENthousanddollahs now.
    You done been out bid, brother Bingley.

  20. Mr. Bingley says:

    One of the funniest comments of the year over at Suzette’s place.

  21. Mr. Bingley says:

    Oh, so that’s the other V-word.
    I thought it was ‘volvo’.

  22. Mr. Bingley says:

    Geesh, 17,000 clams for that.

  23. Cullen says:

    See. I was thinking vasectomy.
    But I should probably keep my mouth shut. Loose lips, you know.

  24. The Real JeffS says:

    Hmmmmm. I was thinking “virgin” myself. So much for telepathy.

  25. Mr. Bingley says:

    Ventriloquist? That’s a mouth-shut and non-loose lips, right Cullen?

  26. Cullen says:

    Mr. B,
    I don’t know about ventriloquist. While mouth shut and tight-lipped, I’d have to get Charlie McCarthy’s take on having a hand shoved up your ass.

  27. Cullen says:

    And talking about a hand up your ass — EIGHTEEN THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!

  28. Ken Summers says:

    Man, that’s a lotta clams [crap. I think I just stepped in it…]

  29. Cullen says:

    So silly makes me want to break into song.

  30. Gack, gackgack, gackgack.

  31. Ken Summers says:

    Cullen, that is so twisted I’m ashamed that I didn’t come up with it.

  32. The Real JeffS says:

    Speaking of “ventriloquist”….I’ve never seen the V****** Dialogs. Does that have a ventriloquist act in it, or what?

  33. Cullen says:

    It got THS speaking Martian a la Mars Attacks. And if you haven’t offended your host at least once a week, what good are you really?

  34. “Do not run. We are your friends.”

  35. Cullen says:

    $33K +. Good lord! It’s idiotic. I’m not sure who’ll read this, perhaps it’s only an exercise in self gratification, but I had to post it.

  36. I read it. And my eyes are bleeding.

  37. Suzette says:

    Really – that painting is so crappy. I can’t iamgine that an art collector would want it, and if its TV buffs who are bidding against each other, one would think that Beaver Cleaver’s bedspread would more a desireable object. If it is a fan of the show, boy – are they going to be embarrassed to admit that in about 2 years.

  38. Ken Summers says:

    Hey! How come Suzette doesn’t get in trouble for saying “beaver”? Not fair!

  39. Cullen says:

    Yes. Now I’m quite confused. For the record, purely hypothetical of course, what about poonany, poontang, or trim?

  40. Cullen says:

    P.S. 37K Now that’s Park Avenue P-word.

  41. Mr. Bingley says:

    Isn’t Poontang the President of Russia?

  42. Ken Summers says:

    No, B, I think he’s from China

  43. Poontang
    And bad Suzette! Bad! Bad!
    (Okay, Mr. PottyMouthTooCleverByHalf Summers?)

  44. Ken Summers says:

    Sounds like that Hawaiian king, Kemonawannalaya.

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