Mommy Knows Worst
The Insta-Wife reviews Lileks’ newest book, and I agree with her:
…However, this is not to say that the baby boomer’s children are without their own problems. Yes, we have learned from yesterday’s mistakes in areas like proper sun exposure and showing parental affection. But as a psychologist specializing in adolescents, I have seen the pendulum swing too far in the opposite direction with some current child raising fads.
…What I learned from Lileks’ interesting and entertaining book is that moderation is the key in child rearing and, sometimes, it is best to trust our own instincts. Experts are there to help but Lileks reminds us that they are human and make mistakes, too. Mommy Knows Worst is a great read for those who wonder if child rearing was always this hard. Apparently, the answer is “yes.”
The Cult of Self Esteem is our generation’s horrible fad that we are inflicting on our kids.
Littrachure | Crusader | 
November 3, 2005 9:05 am
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I have no issues with building up someone’s self esteem. But not in the ridiculous manner we’ve gone to. Kids need to learn that there are winners and their are losers. They need to learn that sometimes, their best isn’t enough. And that you are not owed anything until you earn it.
I have a problem with building it for no reason, which seems to be what we do. Even the kids themselves parody it. Last year my daughter had to learn some awful touchy-feely song for a 5th grade function. The stirring words of the chorus were
I am special
You are special
(Battle Hymmn of the Republic it ain’t)
which she and her friends immediately changed to
I am special
You are not
This built up my self esteem!
I feel sorry for them when they get out into the “real world” which as all of us know, is totally NOT Montessori School.
Remember: you are unique. Just like everyone else. 😉
Unearned self-esteem is a very dangerous thing to teach kids. After all, up until the age of seven or eight most of them are pure id anyway.
The problem arises when they’re in a situation when it’s appropriate for their self-esteem to be low. When, for instance, they’ve done something they should be ashamed of. If they’ve been taught that self-esteem is their birthright they have no means to get themselves out of that hole.
Exactly, Sluggo.
I’ve been saying that its possible to have too much self esteem. Sometimes I wonder if there’s a generation of sociopaths we’ll have to deal with soon.
Mr. Bingley, thanks to your daughter and her friends, it’s possible that some kids see through that BS.
OTOH….Cindermutha, I think we are ALREADY dealing with a generation of sociopaths…sometimes known as aging hippies….