The Coming Zombie Apocalypse

Sadly, our government is woefully unprepared

Emergency Preparedness and Response: A-Z Index

There are no items listed for the letter “Z.”

16 Responses to “The Coming Zombie Apocalypse”

  1. major dad says:

    What do you mean Bing? This administration is loaded with Zombies.

  2. Laura says:

    It’s a set-up. We’re to just tough it out on our own fighting those brain-eating sonsabitches. You just know the prez has a sweet pad somewhere stocked with a lifetime of bacon and Circus Peanuts. Motherfucker.

  3. Mr. Bingley says:

    That explains those orange Oompa-Loompa pants Michelle was wearing a few months ago, Laura: they’re to hide the Circus Peanut crumbs!

  4. There is no Zombie entry, because that would prepare us to fight them.

  5. Mori says:

    The party line has always been that to prepare may scare some Americans. Because, you know, most Americans are so timid we wet our pants at the first sign of trouble. Keeping credible threats and actual attempts under wraps lulls everyone into a false sense of security.

    Did you not hear about the recent WMD found in San Diego? Jammie Wearing Fool covered it…

    Living in San Diego county, this scares the $4*# out of me. I always knew we were a target, but this really brought it home. I am also aware that the nuc plant has been probed by individuals that meet the profile for watch list candidacy.

    We should all demand that any time there is a credible threat, or as in the recent case of WMD being found in San Diego, that all relevant information is disseminated. You don’t even hear about earthquake preparedness anymore around here, I wonder why? /eyeroll

  6. Mr. Bingley says:

    Yeah, I saw that Mori. A “slip” of the tongue. Or did he “misspeak”? I always get confused.

    As I am sitting here in downtown Manhattan, as I’ve been for the past 20+ years, all I can say is “welcome to my world” 🙂

  7. ricki says:

    The lack of Z entries also means no preparedness for Zoo Escapes. Wait ’til you have a 500 pound gorilla doing the “come at me, bro” stance with no bars between you and him…

  8. nightfly says:

    And what if Zaire or Zimbabwe invade, or something?

    Though I’m not terribly worried about the zombies – not if they take on the characeristics of their victims. The conservatives are too well-armed to become zombies in the first place, and the lefty zombies will try to negotiate endlessly with the living and whine about paying your fair share of braaaaaaaaains.

    I mean, they already have the dead voting for them, right? It’s a small step to actual zombiehood.

  9. JeffS says:

    Well, I checked under “A” for “Ammunition”, which you need to deal with zombies. No dice, so I’m LCAS.

  10. Dave E. says:


    Yeah, the federal government types know they would be among the first to become zombies, so no way are they putting out any how-to-respond guides. Though give them credit for recognizing that…”How big is your brain? Give it to us.”…wasn’t going to fly.

  11. kcruella101 says:

    Very happy I invested in a copy of The Zombie Survival Guide

  12. Ave says:

    We are also apparently not adequately prepared against Jock itch, Kleptocracies or Yeast infections.

  13. RebeccaH says:

    And we are definitely not prepared for the consequences of electing idiots to public office.

  14. Crusader says:

    Baseball bats and fire axes are good backups, to conserve ammo.

  15. Kathy Kinsley says:

    Umm – but I LIKE Zombie.

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