Tookie’s Ashes
Alright, so Ahnold’s name is no longer on a stadium. I’m sure he’s broken up about it. What to do with the ashes of Tookie? Well, according to
Barbara Becnel, who co-authored his anti-gang books, said: ‘Tookie wanted to return to his ancestral home…”
Well, fair enough, so I imagine someone will take his ashes to Ghana, Nigeria or the Ivory Coast, where basically all of the slaves in North America came from.
Well, no:
“…We chose South Africa because I know some members of the Mandela family.'”
This is the equivalent of deciding that someone of Norwegian ancestry has an ancestral home in southern Spain. I’m sure the fact that the hotels and restaurants in South Africa beat the bejeebus out of those in Ghana played some small role in the decision…
December 16, 2005 12:33 pm 
Subscribe
Just for clarity about this Barbara Becnel:
My understanding is that she ghost-wrote, not co-wrote, the books.
And I can’t be sure about this part, but I heard in a radio commentary that she was the Tookie Monster’s girlfriend; in effect, one of those death row groupies.
By Becnel’s logic, I ought to be buried in the Phillipines because one of my cousins was adopted from there.
And Ghana and Nigeria? They’re not former causes celebre with albums and movies dedicated to them. It’s similar to the old joke about reincarnation – everyone was a tribal king, nobody swept the stables. Of course Tookie comes from a nobly suffering country that knows his struggle!
Personally, it’s quite a trick, associating his incarceration and execution with the sufferings of blacks under apartheid. Even beyond the grave, Tookie manages to be aggrandizing and insulting.
Why not launch Tookie into orbit? Then he can be one with the space cadets for real……..
I know of a ceramic transportation vessel that has connections with South Africa, really, water unites the world.
Judi Dench did a thing with ashes in The Shipping News. It was the best moment in that movie so I won’t spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen it. I don’t know why I thought of that. Well, yeah, I do.
I like the ceramic transportation vessel idea.
But Nigeria has the nicest internet cafes, if my inbox is any indicator…