More Global Warmering

The bay is starting to ice over.

I love when my commute resembles scenes from Titanic.

Nowak Is, Um…

Whacked

A NASA astronaut is charged with attacking her rival for another astronaut’s attention early Monday at Orlando International Airport, the Orlando Sentinel has learned.
Lisa Marie Nowak drove from Texas to meet the 1 a.m. flight of a younger woman who had also been seeing the male astronaut Nowak pined for, according to Orlando police.
Nowak — who was a mission specialist on a Discovery launch last summer — was wearing a trench coat and wig and had a knife, BB pistol, rubber tubing and plastic bags, reports show. Once U.S. Air Force Capt. Colleen Shipman arrived, Nowak followed her to the airport’s Blue Lot for long-term parking, tried to get into Shipman’s car and doused her with pepper spray, according to reports.

Good Lisa!

Bad Lisa!

Police said that along with the weapons and other items in Nowak’s car, they found e-mails from Shipman to Oefelein, Mapquest directions from Houston to the Orlando airport, and diapers, which Nowak told police she used so she wouldn’t have to stop on the drive.

From Tang to diapers. Not quite the same caliber as The Right Stuff, now is it?
I can see the new ad slogan already: “NASA depends on Depends!”

Monday’s arrest is the first-ever on felony charges for an active-duty astronaut, that the space agency was aware of, according to a spokesman.
“Her status as an astronaut with NASA is currently unchanged. I cannot speculate on what might happen beyond that,” said James Hartsfield, a NASA spokesman at the Johnson Space Center in Houston, where Nowak and Oefelein work.

Somehow I’m thinking our little Tonya Harding wannabe ain’t going back into space any time soon.

Sacre Boom!

In this life there are times when you can ignore that rattle in your basement, and times when you can’t:

Estate agents are used to talking up the good points of a property while drawing a veil over its less attractive aspects. But it would take a particularly resourceful one to gloss over the downside of La Basse Cour in Belgium.
The first bit is easy: “Attractive farm consisting of seven buildings set in 150 acres in the heart of historic Flanders on the Messines Ridge near Ypres. Ideal getaway for the busy metropolitan family. One hour 30 minutes from Channel Tunnel.”

The problem lies with one of the original features: the bomb. Not any old bomb, but the world’s biggest unexploded bomb – 50,000lbs to be exact. Still there, 80 feet under the farm, waiting for its big day. “Potential for redevelopment” might cover it.
The bomb – or more accurately mine – was the product of one of the greatest and most secret engineering exercises of the First World War. It lay half-forgotten for 80 years until British researchers were able to establish its exact whereabouts using maps of the period.

How do you say “AFLAC” in french?
(via email from Crusader)

Baby It’s Cooooold Outside

It was 9 here when I left the house, and the harbor at the ferry terminal was starting to ice up. Maybe we should transplant some of those homeless drowning polar bears down to New Jersey?
Of course, for real thrills…anyone want to hop in the car with me for a road trip to Mount Washington?

Temp -22.5°F
Wind 283° (W)
Gust 91.5 mph
W. Chill -71.7°F

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“Sexpresso” Shops

There’s something about the West Coast that just affects people’s minds, I think. I mean, sure, there’s a Starbucks on every corner so if you want to have your own coffee shop the competition is pretty fierce. But have we gone so adrift as a culture that we really need these?

At the Sweet Spot Cafe in the northern suburbs of Seattle, you get more than a foam topping on your cappucino. You get a waitress in a bikini, or maybe a tight-fitting T-shirt, and a choice of drinks with names such as Wet Dream (with caramel and white chocolate), Sexual Mix (a caramel macchiato) or Erotic Pleasure.
South of the city, in Tukwila, the baristas at Cowgirls Espresso wear sheer negligees and visible pink panties. It’s the same story in any number of other suburban bars and drive-through stands, like the Natte Latte in Port Orchard or Moka Girls in Auburn – bikinis, racy lingerie, fetish clothing, and plenty of suggestively exposed flesh.
…Welcome to “sexpresso” – the latest coffee fad to hit America, in which the country’s seemingly boundless fascination for Italian-style Java is combined with its equally boundless fascination for half-naked women.

I’m not morally offended/outraged by these places and I certainly don’t want to ban them or any such nonsense. But I do find it…sad is the word, I guess…that a bunch of these places have popped up and are accepted with such indifference. And it’s not just coffee shops; look at the images in ads on TV. It is the ultimate irony: after 40 years of feminism our society is more permeated with images of women as sexual objects than ever before (which is pretty amazing considering how we constantly hear about how the country has been turned into a rightwing religious theocracy).
And it makes being the dad of a teenage daughter that much harder.

Maybe We Should Be Asking

…the boots ON the ground what they think.

Mahdi Army gains strength through unwitting aid of U.S.‘
… “Half of them are JAM. They’ll wave at us during the day and shoot at us during the night,” said 1st Lt. Dan Quinn, a platoon leader in the Army’s 1st Infantry Division, using the initials of the militia’s Arabic name, Jaish al Mahdi. “People (in America) think it’s bad, but that we control the city. That’s not the way it is. They control it, and they let us drive around. It’s hostile territory.”
The Bush administration’s plan to secure Baghdad rests on a “surge” of some 17,000 more U.S. troops to the city, many of whom will operate from small bases throughout Baghdad. Those soldiers will work to improve Iraqi security units so that American forces can hand over control of the area and withdraw to the outskirts of the city.
The problem, many soldiers said, is that the approach has been tried before and resulted only in strengthening al-Sadr and his militia.
Amid recurring reports that al-Sadr is telling his militia leaders to stash their arms and, in some cases, leave their neighborhoods during the American push, U.S. soldiers worry that the latest plan could end up handing over those areas to units that are close to al-Sadr’s militant Shiite group.
“All the Shiites have to do is tell everyone to lay low, wait for the Americans to leave, then when they leave you have a target list and within a day they’ll kill every Sunni leader in the country. It’ll be called the `Day of Death’ or something like that,” said 1st Lt. Alain Etienne, 34, of Brooklyn, N.Y. “They say, `Wait, and we will be victorious.’ That’s what they preach. And it will be their victory.”
Quinn agreed.
“Honestly, within six months of us leaving, the way Iranian clerics run the country behind the scenes, it’ll be the same way here with Sadr,” said Quinn, 25, of Cleveland. “He already runs our side of the river.”

Then again, maybe it’s not what they want to hear.

If You Finally Start Winning “The BIG One”

…how nice to start with the biggest one of all. And how nice it was a team mostly full of…well…nice people, from the coach, to the quarterback…

…The AFC’s Colts are loaded with Louisiana boys. Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne, Joseph Addai, and Brandon Stokely are players that I know grew up here and played ball here in high school or college. The Mannings are New Orleans royalty. They have been magnificent ambassadors for New Orleans and Louisiana for nearly 40 years. I can’t root against them … unless they were playing against the Saints.

…and the running back.

After LaJuan Moore made the tackle that changed his life, his mother warned him that friends would disappear. Other children will distance themselves, she said, from the one who was suddenly paralyzed and confined to a wheelchair.
But Joseph Addai moved closer.
“Joseph stuck like glue,” Charlotte Beverly said.
…After the accident, Addai put together two chairs and slept with Moore in the hospital room. He learned to bathe his friend, dress him and help him use the bathroom. When Addai went to Louisiana State, he got a dorm room that was wheelchair-accessible so that Moore could visit. They spent last April’s draft day together, celebrating Addai’s first-round selection by the Colts.
Addai and Moore call each other every day. Sometimes, they barely speak. They just hold the phone to their ears and hang out together…

And I don’t think a single Colt has dated Paris Hilton. (Yet.)
How nice is that?
Of course, as champs, they are now forever doomed to press conferences full of the elites of the sports writing world, peppering them with questions like…

“Since you’re the ‘Colts’, will you be dedicating this game to the memory of Barbaro?”

How nice to have something to look forward to.
Raise a glass, Shriners. To the Colts!

Lamb Update: Soup’s On!

“Can I have some please?”
No.
But I can.

Quite tasty. Next time I will cube the spudlies and add a dash or two of worchestershire, I think, just to give it a touch more body.
But over all very yum.
Now I beg your indulgence as I go back for another bowl!

Insta On The Lamb

Reading about Insta’s Lamb Stew got me hungry and made me want to try his recipe. It’s 23º degrees outside and this stew sounds yum. More importantly, it gives me a chance to indulge in New Kitchen Pørn!

C’mere, Fluffy…

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February 3rd Is Known As “Four Chaplains Day” Now

…because of a terrible night on the USS Dorchester in 1943.

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Who’s Crying When Oil’s at $50 Barrel?

Jim Jubak has some pretty interesting ideas.

Dear Prof. Reynolds ~ Please Do Not Confuse the IDIOTS in South Florida

~ with their shrieking Democratic operatives and multitudes of Gramma Yettas (bless their hearts) ~
…who are costing the state $32+ MIL to get rid of electronic machines we KNEW wouldn’t work (copious eyerolling the instant the idea surfaced)…
…with us paper ballot obsessed Rednecks in the Riviera.
When you say “Florida”, we ALL get tarred with the fugly stick.

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Honestly ~ ARE We That Stoo-pid?

I hope, I hope, I hope the answer for the general population is “no”. Otherwise, these fascists are going to be able to take over every morsel headed toward our ignorant, gaping maws.

Organics spreading to snack food aisles
Companies offer natural, organic versions of chips, cookies, mac & cheese
…That’s been good news for the food industry because it offers a new venue to potentially boost sales. But the trend raises concerns for some nutrition experts, who worry that people don’t realize that even organic snacks can still be packed with as many calories and fat as more traditional junk food.
“You still need to read the food label,” said Christine McKinney, a registered dietician with Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center. “Just because it’s organic doesn’t meant it’s healthy.”

It’s the potato chip versus rice cake thing that always kicks my ass. Why does my brain always say “potato chip”?
I think I was abused as a child. So it’s not my fault, hence I’m not stoo-pid. I’m ‘decision challenged’.

In Case You Didn’t Have a Chance to Read It Yesterday

…when the Drudge link crashed their server. It’s pretty freakin’ entertaining.

…“WOW,” SAYS GIEG AS Al Gore struts onto the stage of The Oprah Winfrey Show. “He looks like he’s had Botox or something.”
It’s afternoon in America, and Oprah is offering her millions of viewers a class with Dr. Gore that the producers are calling Global Warming 101. I’ve asked Gieg to watch it with me.
The show turns out to be pretty much a synopsis of An Inconvenient Truth, with Gore clicking through his hyper-produced PowerPoint program and Oprah exclaiming “Wow! Wow!” with dramatic concern. To dramatize the melting of the floating ice cap at the North Pole, Gore has inserted an animated clip of a polar bear swimming desperately to a tiny ice floe that isn’t strong enough to hold him. Global warming is drowning helpless bears. Oprah thinks it’s the coolest and saddest thing in Gore’s whole movie. Gieg starts shouting:
“We don’t know that. We don’t know that! We don’t know that polar bears haven’t drowned in every interglacial period. Nobody was watching them back then.”
It’s got to be a frustrating experience, seeing a topic you’ve spent some 50 years studying turned into an Oprah episode. “I like her,” Gieg says. “She’d beat Al Gore if she ran for president.”
Then Gore clicks again to dramatic footage of a collapsing polar ice shelf. “That’s irresponsible,” Gieg says. “What he’s doing is no less than the scare tactics used by people like Karl Rove.”

Sorry Lisa

YES BABY!

Headline Of The Day

AWOL seaman nabbed in makeup, false lashes

Again, it’s best if I refrain from comment.

As Long As It’s NOT the Smell of ‘Napalm in the Morning’

…or the ‘baby shit’ we used to strip drop tanks with (in those looser, pre-‘Superfund Site’ days)…

A manly foo-foo juice for a good cause, none the less.

Stupid Human Tricks

“All Your Retards Are Be…On Second Though, You Keep Them”

By now everyone has heard about the Little Ad Campaign that blew up.

BOSTON, Massachusetts (CNN) — Two men pleaded not guilty Thursday to charges they created panic by placing “bomblike” electronic light boards displaying a cartoon character with an upraised middle finger throughout Boston.
Assistant Attorney General John Grossman called the light boards “bomblike” devices and said that if they had been explosive they could have damaged transportation infrastructure in the city.

Now, I won’t go into how, um, inappropriate shall we say an ad campaign like this is in the post-9/11 world. It’s just retarded. No, what I want to talk about is how misguided Assistant Attorney General John Grossman is.

…if they had been explosive they could have damaged transportation infrastructure in the city.

Well, if your sister had balls she’d be your brother, goober. But since she doesn’t you can’t call her a female impersonator.
The judge was suitably leery of Mr. Grossman’s hyperbole

Judge Paul K. Leary told Grossman that, according to law, the suspects must intend to create a panic to be charged with placing hoax devices.
It appears the suspects had no such intent, the judge said, but the question should be discussed in a later hearing.

The question that should be asked by every resident of a city where these Lite-Brite creations went up weeks ago is, after all of the billions and billions of dollars that have been spent on Homeland Security how the hell did people climb all over buildings and bridges in 10 cities and no one notice? That’s what should be investigated.
That’s what scares the hell out of me.

NOBODY Puts Baby in a Corner

Except the snooty toots in East Hampton…

…The East Hampton Town Board will meet tomorrow to mull lifting its longtime ban on live music in restaurants. But there will be plenty of restrictions if the proposal gets the green light. The music will have to end by 11 p.m., and eateries will be prohibited from clearing tables and chairs to make room for dancing, the East Hampton Star reports.

So where are footloose and fancy free Hamptonians supposed to go when the Bonjangles mood strikes, huh?

Everybody knows there’s sharks in the sound…

That’s a Good Question

A recent standoff between National Guardsmen and heavily armed outlaws along the Mexican border has rattled some troops and raised questions about the rules of engagement for soldiers who were sent to the border in what was supposed to be a backup role.
…And some lawmakers have questioned why the rules prohibit soldiers from opening fire unless they are fired upon.

“Why would this be allowed to happen?” Republican Arizona state Rep. Warde Nichols said. “Why do we have National Guard running from illegals on the border?”

Unfortunately, the National Guard might be used to whack rules of engagement, considering all the time they’ve spent in Iraq. But in a perfect world, the National Guard, the Marines…NONE of them should be watching the border. The BORDER Patrol and law enforcement agencies along the BORDER should be policing the BORDER. Our military is: a) stretched thin enough b) was never meant to be a police force. They’re trained for combat and extraordinary circumstances/natural disasters.

…Several soldiers said the Arizona confrontation worried them.
“I didn’t think they were going to get that bold,” said Sgt. Samuel Perez of Savannah, Ga. “It’s kind of been chilling that somebody is going to be that crazy.”
First Lt. Wayne Lee, a spokesman for the New Mexico National Guard, said soldiers “are not supposed to get into a firefight. It’s not the Sunni Triangle.“

No, it’s not. But chances are it might sound like it sometimes. The first National Guardsman who hears rifle shots ~ maybe even hears them zing by his ear ~ and fires back will have his own firestorm to handle, I guarantee it.

…Weinacht told OneWorld he hopes the military has learned some lessons from the last time around, but he doubts any military deployment can be successful. “When you have soldiers on the border, you have to make sure they’re properly trained. But if you’re going to spend a lot on training why not just train more border patrol?“

Good Mornin’

…Mr. Sunshine.

…It’s one thing to arrive an hour late for church on the first day of daylight saving. It’s another for a security system to log the wrong time of crucial events, for pilots to misunderstand their takeoff times or international communications components to stop synchronizing. But such scenarios are possible without the fix to vast numbers of the nation’s technical systems .
As IBM notes on its Web site: “Any time-sensitive functions could be impacted by this change. . . . It is important for users to assess their environments and develop appropriate plans for applying the necessary changes.”
…”After building bunkers in the desert for Y2K, we’re not even talking about this, and it’s happening in less than two months,” said Matthew Kozak, an information technology specialist at Rutgers University who monitors numerous sites and discussion groups.
Even in the banking industry, where ATMs time-stamp every customer transaction, awareness of the March 11 change is limited.
“I haven’t heard about it,” said Barry Koling, spokesman for Atlanta-based SunTrust Banks. “It seems to me, we managed to get through Y2K. If we can accomplish the change of the millennium, we can handle a change in daylight saving time.”

‘Spring forward’ will be sprung March 11 this year, vice the time honored April date.
I hadn’t heard.
I’m hoping my computer, cell phone, cable, credit union, et al…has.