It’s Snowing!

Looks very lovely here on Wall Street.

And I refuse to use schtupid Weather Channel names.

Turning Fifty Ain’t So Bad

Had just a wonderful weekend, with lots of good food and good laughs with some of the sweetest, kindest, bestest folks over on Saturday night. You know who you are, and I truly thank you.

And just when I thought things couldn’t possibly get better, my ‘Hoos went and WHUPPED UNC last night.

What a wonderful way to end a wonderful weekend.

Today Marks 50 YEARS

…of Bingley.

I know. I can hardly believe it, too.

Birthday wishes are pouring in from all his old friends…

…but it seems like just yesterday he was a delightful, gamine youngster, reveling in…simple things.

Like playfully stealing borrowing airplanes…

Somehow he changed. LIFE changed him. Maybe it was the coffee. The box wine. The BOURBON.

Suddenly he was thumbing his nose at the world.

Thuggishly using his immense strength to intimidate old Democratic ladies at CostCo…

…and muscle his way to the front of lines for pictures.

But with the love of an extraordinary woman ~ our NJSue ~ whom he treats with all the love, dignity and reverence an icon of her stature demands…

…he has remained the best brother anyone could ever buy on the open market.

Happy Birthday. I mean it.

This Is Just Whacked

He says the cops are just yanking his chain

Jets tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. was arrested for possession of synthetic marijuana in New Jersey last November, but details of a police report are drawing the spotlight away from the pot.

NJ.com reports court documents reveal police were called to the scene in a Target parking lot because a woman alleged she saw Winslow masturbating in his vehicle. The woman told police she parked her vehicle in a spot to the right of a black Cadillac Escalade in which Winslow was sitting with the window open.

ABC News (“NEWS“, Mind You) Helpfully Comes Up With 50 Ways to Help Celebrate

…Michelle Obama’s birthday. As if it wasn’t already festive enough, with 24 days in Hawaii, being First Lady and all the EVERYDAY stuff, you and I are supposed to help out in spirit. Because she’s, like, a God-dess we worship, or something.

Now you know. Pick a number. Or two or three, since Michelle’s not into any sort of holding back on entertaining herself, so why should you?

Although that Number 8…

8. Buy a Jason Wu dress

…is gonna take me a leetle longer than I’d like. Her lazy a$$, golf-playing husband needs to PIVOT TO JOBS again for me to pull that off and still be able to feed the Scotties and the stray cat.

ths update: INTERESTING things going on in the comments! people are, as you might imagine, looking a bit askance at ABC’s suggestions…well, nay, the ENTIRE PIECE, and then some silly twit had to go say THIS to answer a critique:

ExJon • 33 minutes ago
I must have missed ABCNews’ “50 Ways to Celebrate Laura Bush’s Birthday.”
6 •Reply•Share ›

Cynda P. ExJon • 32 minutes ago ?
Yes, number 1 should have been “Get away with vehicular homicide.” Say what you will about Michelle Obama, but at least she didn’t kill anyone.

Oh, don’t you KNOW I got a little hot under the bathrobe collar.

tree hugging sister: SNAPPY! Oh, but I’ll bet ANYTHING you just think Teddy Kennedy was the cat’s meow and wept bitter tears when he passed. But …

There WAS more. But someone on the ABC board deleted it. And my SUBSEQUENT comment with a “HEY! Mentioning Ted Kennedy gets DELETED, but you LEAVE “LAURA BUSH KILLS PEOPLE“?!” went into the ether shortly thereafter without even the benefit of a “comment deleted” indignity. BUT, by God, ‘Laura Bush is a killer and Michelle isn’t’ is STILL there. So they do.

There are also more comments disappearing over there displaying a certain antipathy to the Imperial O’s than you can shake a stick at. Amazingly, anything HATEFUL about the Bushes is remaining in situ…

ths update redux: Okay. ‘Laura Bush killed somebody‘ is STILL there, I’ve been vaporized FIVE times (some with NO Ted Kennedy at all), BUT I have screen-caps of everything. I’ll get those up later, since I now have to work and it’s a late one.

ths again: 3 HOURS and HATEFUL Laura Bush comment GONE AT LAST.

What took you SO LONG, ABC?

Smart Power!

1 – Dear Barack,

Shit or get off the pot.

Love,

Canada

OTTAWA (Reuters) – Canada bluntly told the United States on Thursday to settle the fate of TransCanada Corp’s proposed Keystone XL pipeline, saying the drawn-out process on whether to approve the northern leg of the project was taking too long.

The hard line comments by Foreign Minister John Baird in Washington were the clearest sign yet that Canada’s Conservative government has lost patience over what it sees as U.S. foot-dragging. Ottawa strongly backs the project.

“The time for Keystone is now. I’ll go further – the time for a decision on Keystone is now, even if it’s not the right one. We can’t continue in this state of limbo,” Baird said in a speech to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce.

2 – The Adults Are In Charge And The World Loves Us:

Indian media have been giving wide play to derogatory comments by a U.S. diplomat couple on Indian life and culture, exacerbating already strained relations between the two countries in the wake of the Devyani Khobragade affair.

The Times of India identified the couple as Wayne May, who headed the security team at the U.S. embassy in New Delhi, and his wife Alicia Muller, who worked, ironically, as a community liaison officer.

…On his Facebook page, May made fun of the Indian way of life and said his pet dog was better nourished than his Indian gardener as the dog got more protein in his diet. In one Facebook post, Muller referred to India’s reputation for sexual violence: “It’s the vegetarians that are doing the raping, not the meat eaters — this place is just so bizarre.” The couple also made fun of cows, which are a religious symbol in India. When one of Muller’s friends pointed out that she had insulted an Indian god, she retorted “Not the first time, not the last.”

Yeah, we’re in the Very Best of Hands.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Just Because It Advertises Itself as a “Christian” Site

…DOESN’T mean it ISN’T full of SINNERS, ladies.

Or Nigerians.

San Jose Woman Duped Out Of $500K In Nigerian Online Dating Scam

SAN JOSE (CBS SF) — A San Jose woman bilked out of $500,000 by a Nigerian scam artist on a dating website luckily recovered $200,000 from a bank in Turkey, according to the Santa Clara County District Attorney’s Office.

The case of the 66-year-old woman conned out of her money through a meeting on ChristianMingle.com should serve as a warning about fraud schemes on international dating sites, Deputy District Attorney Cherie Bourland said.

“You get the love drug in you and you end up getting duped,” Bourland said.

No. You were a dope dupe to begin with.

Blame that CLOYING ass jingle of theirs. Makes ME lose my mind.

(I notice it’s not in their newest solicitations, by the way.)

“Good Morning. I See My Assassins —>Have Faild”

Letters from the Dark Side.

Yes, small children write notes.

I Meant To Post About This Sooner

But I forgot

NEW YORK (AP) — Middle-aged men risk a faster mental decline as they age if they’ve been drinking heavily for years, new research suggests.

The study of about 5,000 British civil servants found that over a decade, the added decline was the equivalent of about two extra years of aging for a combined measure of mental abilities like reasoning, and about six years for memory. The heavy drinkers’ abilities were compared to those of men who drank moderately or abstained.

…Researchers found no such effect in women, but the study included too few female heavy drinkers to test the effect of drinking the same amount as in men, said Severine Sabia, a study author from University College London.

I draw three conclusions from this:

1) I need to join the British Civil Service
2) Women need to drink more
3) ummmmm

(thanks to Julie for the head’s up on this)

Pfizer Makes Mountain Bikes?

Who knew?

LONDON (CBS Atlanta) – A cyclist needed medical intervention at an Irish hospital because an injury he suffered caused his penis to remain erect for nearly two months.

The unnamed bicyclist sustained an injury on the crossbar of his mountain bike that interfered with the blood flow to his penis.

A medical report quoted in the Irish Examiner said the biker’s pain and bruising settled within days, but that he sustained ongoing “high-flow” priapism “with rigid erection”.

After suffering in silence for five weeks, he finally sought medical attention.

FIVE WEEKS!?!?!?

There’s Some Truly DISTURBING News in the Latest Released Benghazi Testimony

…but WTF?

…Further, the quick response force that was mobilized, a FAST team of Marines in Rota, Spain, was forced to deplane and change out of their uniforms before flying to Libya, committee members learned.

“When we got people down do you really have — do you really actually let somebody push the military around and say, well, you are in the wrong uniform,” Chaffetz asked in disbelief.

“Is that really a reason to delay the FAST team coming in to protect Americans, that they are not wearing a t-shirt?“

Oh, and LANE CLOSURES!

Any Guesses How Long THIS Headline Sticks Around

…before the ‘noise’ hits Politico?

Democratic noise machine targets Christie

For years, Chris Christie was one of the country’s most gifted political thespians: More than any other contemporary Republican, he mastered the art of crafting dramatic moments for TV and online consumption and watching the nation thrill to the raw force of his personality.

Now, the New Jersey governor, whose aides once took pride in creating viral videos of his town hall smack-downs, is battling a set of adversaries wielding many of the same media tools against him.

The Garden State’s unfurling retribution scandal — in which at least three Christie associates have been tied to a scheme to deliberately disrupt traffic near the George Washington Bridge — has quickly become a case study in the evolution of the powerful messaging apparatus that national Democrats have built in the Obama era.

All Your Data Are Belong To Us

But we’re not quite sure what to do with it

A public policy group says a review of U.S. terrorist arrests shows the government’s collection of bulk phone records does little to prevent terrorism, adding fuel to a debate over whether the spy program should be ended.

The nonprofit New America Foundation, based in Washington, analyzed cases involving 225 people recruited by al-Qaeda or other terrorist groups and charged in the U.S. since the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. The majority of cases started with traditional techniques, such as use of “informants, tips from local communities, and targeted intelligence operations,” according to a report today from the group, which has been critical of the NSA spy programs.

“Our investigation found that bulk collection of American phone metadata has had no discernible impact on preventing acts of terrorism and only the most marginal of impacts on preventing terrorist-related activity, such as fundraising for a terrorist group,” Peter Bergen, director of the foundation’s national security program, said in a statement.

The National Security Agency’s collection and use of bulk phone records, such as numbers dialed and call durations, is one of several surveillance programs exposed by former government contractor Edward Snowden. The disclosures have prompted calls both domestically and overseas for the U.S. to discontinue or alter the programs.

They collect it because they can.

They intrude upon and ignore our Constitutional rights because they can.

They commit petty acts of tyranny, from closing public access to open-air national monuments to lanes of traffic on bridges and highways, because they can.

They need to be stopped.

Clear the Room of Any Resident Canines Before Viewing THIS VIDEO

You’ll be glad you took precautions.

So My Electric Razor Died And I Bought A New Philips/Norelco One

Pretty much like the old one, really, with those three rotating blades, etc.

This one, however, came with a case to use when traveling

I’m thinking…nope.

Unexpectedly!

The early story

Employers probably expanded payrolls in December, capping the strongest year for U.S. employment since 2005, a report today may show.

The addition of 197,000 jobs followed a 203,000 advance the prior month, according to the median forecast of 90 economists in a Bloomberg survey. The projected gain would bring the annual increase to 2.27 million, which was last exceeded eight years ago. The unemployment rate may have held at a five-year low of 7 percent in December.

…“We’re seeing a substantial improvement in the labor market,” said Richard DeKaser, a Washington-based corporate economist for Wells Fargo & Co., the largest U.S. home lender. “Monthly payroll gains will be in the 200,000 territory for much of 2014. Growth is beginning to pick up.”

The Labor Department’s report is due at 8:30 a.m. in Washington. Bloomberg survey estimates ranged from payroll increases of 100,000 to 250,000.

The “unexpected” report

U.S. stock-index futures fluctuated as data showed payrolls in December increased at the slowest pace since January 2011, indicating a pause in the recent strength of the labor market.

…The 74,000 gain in payrolls, less than the most pessimistic projection in a Bloomberg survey, followed a revised 241,000 advance the prior month, Labor Department figures showed today in Washington. The median forecast of 90 economists called for an increase of 197,000. The unemployment rate dropped to 6.7 percent, the lowest since October 2008, as more people left the labor force.

As more people left the work force

Curious why despite the huge miss in payrolls the unemployment rate tumbled from 7.0% to 6.7%? The reason is because in December the civilian labor force did what it usually does in the New Normal: it dropped from 155.3 million to 154.9 million, which means the labor participation rate just dropped to a fresh 35 year low, hitting levels not seen since 1978, at 62.8% down from 63.0%.

Funny what happens when you remove the dis-incentive to be unemployed.

Another Diplomatic Triumph

India to declare war on noted Nobel Peace Prize recipient

NEW YORK (AP) — An Indian diplomat accused of lying about how much she paid her housekeeper was ordered out of the United States on Thursday after she was indicted on two criminal charges and Indian authorities refused to waive her immunity, authorities said.

…The judge said it seemed odd that bail conditions continued to contain language that Khobragade could not leave New York when the Department of State had ordered her to do so.

They can’t even cleanly expel somebody.

Your Quote of the Day

“…Part of the reason that this week’s cold wave did not set any all-time or monthly cold records is that it is becoming increasingly difficult to do so in a warming climate…”

DR. Jeff Masters, WeatherUnderground Blog

You can’t win against the KoolAid.

The Bridges Of Bergen County

So now all the world is ablaze with the news that some of Christie’s top aides were apparently directly involved in closing some lanes on the GWB and creating chaos for Fort Lee, whose mayor had declined to endorse Christie’s re-election; at the very least, they certainly made it known that they were amenable to the Port Authority choosing the most inconvenient times possible to conduct whatever repairs it needed to do. Assuming this is true, they must be fired immediately. And if Christie is shown to have ordered it he should resign. Such petty governmental abuse of power can not be tolerated at all, regardless of the letter after the politician’s name. Full stop.

It will of course be extremely interesting to compare and contrast the media’s outrage at this with their cocooning of Obama with regard to the IRS, the AP, Benghazi, etc., and the different set of standards that a Republican is held to vis a vis a Democrat.

Assuming Christie knew nothing of this, his making of heads to roll will be a good lesson in how to lead and worthy of contrast with the White House.

And, again, it simply points to the fact that a government with the time and inclination to involve itself and YOUR MONEY (always remember, absolutely everything the government does is done with your money, although at this point it is actually your grand-children’s money they’re blowing through now) in something this petty and vindictive is a government that is too damned big.

Update: Someone agrees with me.

On Most PBS Stations at 9 Tonight

Ebola and I had a chance to see Shackleton’s tiny boat (one of two used to seek a rescue) when the Endurance expedition’s gear and memorabilia were on display at the American Museum of Natural History.

A simply overwhelming story of courage, faith in your fellow man and spectacular leadership.

CAPTION CONTEST

So, two guys ~ one’s the smartest in the world and one’s…the opposite ~ supposedly have lunch, see…

And CAPTION RT @markknoller: Quick photo of Obama/Biden lunch from @dougmillsnyt: pic.twitter.com/5Sbg8LKI74”

— tree hugging sister (@treehuggingsis) January 8, 2014

…and someone gets an “impromptu” picture.

Indisputable Proof Of America’s Decline

First Sriracha.

Now this

NEW YORK (AP) – Playoff parties may have one fewer dip option this year.

Kraft Foods says some customers may not be able to find Velveeta cheese over the next few weeks. A representative for the company, Jody Moore, didn’t give any reasons for the apparent shortage, saying only that they happen from time to time given the “nature of manufacturing.”

Weep for what our Land has become, my friends.

Why It’s Called A Dump Truck

The combination of “adults” plus “diapers” gets messy

VIENNA -Austrian hazmat specialists called in after Geiger counters showed alarmingly high readings for a dump truck arriving at an incinerator have found the problem — radioactive adult diapers.

After unloading the truck, firefighters from the hazardous materials unit of the city of Linz found nearly two dozen diapers from a hospital that had become contaminated with radioactive iodine. The substance is swallowed during some medical and diagnostic procedures.

…Austrian officials, however, are tracing the truck’s route. And the truck will stay in a metal container at the incinerator for eight days — the time it takes for the emissions to reach safe levels.

Judging by the baby diapers I’ve changed there is no “safe level of emissions.”

Are They SURE This Isn’t an Onion Story?

I mean, the “facts” would lead you to believe otherwise…

Ohio Police: Man Stopped for Speeding Had 48 Bombs

A man stopped for speeding in central Ohio was charged with illegally making or possessing an explosive device after nearly 50 bombs and four guns were found in his vehicle.

…but the alleged perp’s name is…get this…BOGUSLAWSKI.

See where I’m coming from?

But WalMart Is the Enemy of the People

We all KNOW that.

Surprise! Walmart health plan is cheaper, offers more coverage than Obamacare http://t.co/LSvP7OxJ5t pic.twitter.com/Jp0lpKjYTi

— Washington Examiner (@dcexaminer) January 7, 2014