Funny…I Always Thought So, Too

Unsurprisingly, Ebola tests out as Boba the Fett.

Today’s Gaia Molester

How’d you like a V-10 with 500 horses at the touch of a button?

For a speed racer looking to fly beneath the radar, it was the perfect car. Which, of course, is why BMW decided to change it, most notably by adding a magical button that, when pushed, adds yet another 100 horses to the engine. Simply depress and, voila, you’ve hit the 500-horsepower threshold, and can now smoke a Ferrari Scaglietti.
The root of all this temptation is a 5.0-liter V-10 evolved from BMW’s Formula One vehicles, a power plant that won the highly coveted (seriously) International Engine of the Year award. It is indeed a technological wonder, carved from lightweight alloys and boasting individual throttle butterflies that let the fourth-generation M5 zip around in slightly harnessed mode – allowing for better gas mileage and civilized comportment – before some button-pushing fool unleashes its uberdemons, which can rocket the M5 past 190 mph. I, of course, am one such fool.

All this can be yours for $85,000 and you get 10 mpg! Woo-hoo!
Let the Gaia Games begin!

The Mighty O

All good things come to an end. Today they’re supposed to start nudging Oriskany away from Allegheny Pier at 10 a.m., tow her at 2 mph into Pensacola Bay and out to 22 miles offshore. I hope to get pictures in an hour or so of her last passage through Pensacola Pass. If the weather holds Wednesday, our Swilling special correspondant (the Squid Terrorist) will be on a boat nearby with his camera as they scuttle her.
Man.

Overheard During Darlington Race Coverage

…Saturday night. Midway through an interim caution lap recap, as a race car is careening off the pit lane concrete barriers:

“That kinda looks Representative Patrick Kennedy’s driving…“

Me to major dad: “Did he really just say that?!”
It was FOX.

Gang Violence In Brazil

Some 60 people have been killed over the weekend in coordinated attacks on police and riots in prisons in Sao Paulo:

Violence has continued in the Brazilian state of Sao Paulo where a wave of co-ordinated attacks over the weekend left more than 60 people dead.
Gangs hit police stations and patrols with machine guns and machetes, and prisoners rioted in dozens of jails…
…Authorities say the unrest is being directed from inside jail by a criminal gang after hundreds of its members were sent to maximum security prisons.

They’re also burning buses and banks, and holding several hundred hostages. These prison gangs are incredibly well organised, in large part due to the rampant corruption in the police forces in Brazil. The police are very badly paid and led, and very amenable to bribes. Most of my friends in Brazil tell me that when you are robbed you don’t call the police, because they’ll rob you a second time…

Millions

My goodness, what a great movie. When daughter first told us about it, it was in the context of “we watched this really weird movie on the bus back from the ski trip,’ which really isn’t such a ringing endorsement. But somehow it ended up in our Netflix que and we watched it last night. Now, perhaps some of it had to do with it being Mother’s Day and all that yesterday, but it has a wonderful plot. It starts off a little slowly, and you’re sitting there thinking, hmm, here’s one of these strange european movies, but after about fifteen minutes it hooks you. I was sobbing like a blubbering baby at the end. The two boys who play brothers are fantastic. The premise is two boys, whose mom has died, move with their dad to a new town a few days before England is switching from the pound to the euro, and one of the boys ‘finds’ several hundred thousand pounds. What do they do?
Really, a great movie, and Nightfly you especially will like it.

I Can Tell You Why

‘Poseidon’ can’t overtake ‘Mission’ at box office
Disaster remake pulls in $20.3 million, debuts at No. 2

Star or story, they’re both watery disasters ~ it’s like choosing between Nagin and Landrieu, so WTF? Might as well stay home and dry.

My Gift For My Bride

Despite the false and scurrilous rumors that some people to spread, I am quite the romantic.
To prove it, I had a lovely present sitting in the garage waiting for my beloved bride when she came back from an errand today, with a nice little red bow on top…

Read more »

A Note to the Palestinian Government Worker

…on the NBC Nightly news. The reporter said he hadn’t been paid his $500/mth salary in three months and then the man said:

“The United States needs to send money! This isn’t hurting the government, it’s hurting the people!”

He seems to have had a brain freeze. Last I heard, the votes of the Palestinian PEOPLE are the reason they have that government. Since it was a pretty clear Hamas victory, if he didn’t vote for them personally, he needs to thank his neighbors.

Inclusiveness Is What Makes This Country

…It clarified policies regarding disabled passengers on airplanes, stating for the first time that animals used to aid people with emotional ailments like depression or anxiety should be given the same access and privileges as animals helping people with physical disabilities like blindness or deafness.
The following year appellate courts in New York State for the first time accepted tenants’ arguments in two cases that emotional support was a viable reason to keep a pet despite a building’s no-pets policy. Word of the cases and of the Transportation Department’s ruling spread, aided by television and the Internet. Now airlines are grappling with how to accommodate 200-pound dogs in the passenger cabin and even emotional-support goats.

…great.

Happy Mother’s Day

…to all our Swiller’s and their wives, their mums, their mums’ mums and anyone who’s ever been a ‘mum’ to someone!!!

The inspiring true story of two great friends, a baby hippo named Owen and a 130-yr-old giant tortoise named Mzee (Mm-ZAY). When Owen was stranded after the Dec 2004 tsunami, villagers in Kenya worked tirelessly to rescue him. Then, to everyone’s amazement, the orphan hippo and the elderly tortoise adopted each other. Now they are inseparable, swimming, eating, and playing together. Adorable photos e-mailed from friend to friend quickly made them worldwide celebrities. Here is a joyous reminder that in times of trouble, friendship is stronger than the differences that too often pull us apart.

Now, back to the dishes.

Hey! Did You Happen to See

…The Fastest Man on EARTH?

Well, WE did!!

Gatlin sets world mark with ‘perfect race’
Olympic champ runs 100 in 9.76 seconds to take record away from Powell

Congratulations to Pensacola’s own Justin Gatlin!!

It’s Safe To Go Swimming Now, Florida Cracker

This big boy has been caught:

A potential world record hammerhead shark was caught on Wednesday in Boca Grande Pass.
Capt. Andy Whitbread of Fort Myers captured a 13 foot, 4 inch, 750-pound hammerhead. Whitbread used an estimated 12- to 15-pound live crevalle jack as bait and caught the fish on 80-pound class tackle for the potential line-class world record.

I would say he had a boca grande.

Pensive, Deep Thinking Twins

…separated at birth.

Wondering how to make the world a better prLace.
(Be vewee vewee quiet! Al’s picture stolen from Florida Cracker.)

I’m Shocked! Shocked, I Tell You!

Weapons-grade uranium found in Iran?

The U.N. atomic agency found traces of highly enriched uranium at an Iranian site linked to the country’s defense ministry, diplomats said Friday, adding to concerns that Tehran was hiding activities aimed at making nuclear arms.

Heh-row? How friggin’ stupid are you, UN? And France, and Russia, and China…

I Have Issued

…a fatwa.

My Fatwa
I, tree hugging sister, demand an immediate end to Bingley BASTARD.
No good Muslim shall rest until Bingley embraces trees and life and is very much kinder to me. God will Bingley’s gin bottle exploding if my wishes are not done immediately.
BY ALL THAT IS GOAT LADEN, BIN LADEN AND UNHOLY!

UPDATE and BUMP: Michelle Malkin has linked to a rip roaring cartoon fatwa I just had to share.

‘Muslims avenge your prophet …. We deeply desire that the small state of Denmark, Norway and France … are struck hard and destroyed,’ declared Libyan Mohammed Hassan, who escaped from US custody at Bagram airbase in Afghanistan last July.
‘Destroy their buildings, make their ground shake and transform them into a sea of blood,’ said Hassan, dressed in military fatigues and a black turban, and holding an assault rifle.

Woof! That’s a mouthful! Back to the generator for me.

Drivel

On Feminism:
Well, that’s sort of a gimme, being that I’m doing posts on a feminist blog, most likely about issues that would be considered pro-feminist in angle. So am I a feminist? Absolutely – socialist feminist to be more specific.
On Parenting:
My husband and I are pro- breastfeeding, attachment parenting, co-sleeping, non-cry-it-out types of parents. We are extremely committed to the welfare of our children and our marriage, and have found that despite what conservatives might try to say, you can be a very liberal, progressive family and still function. In fact, we consider our well-functioning and loving family one of our biggest successes in life, thus far. With Sydney we’ve attempted to go easy on the gender roles, and instead offer her as much choice and encouragement in her choices as possible. She’s got girl toys, boy toys and gender neutral toys – though truth be told, the toys she likes best are not even toys at all. We named our daughters Sydney Quinn and Maddox (undecided, perhaps I should blog for advice?) after reading about gender neutral names having a positive impact on girl children in particular, but also because we thought they were cool names.
On Politics:
Socialist for the most part, but registered Democrat. The socialism is due to spending time in Danmark for a while and becoming heavily influenced by the socialist model of living standards, and progressive attitudes of the people.

UPDATE: Bingley has scolded me for not linking to the source of these cheerful paragraphs, but I wanted them to sink in on their own first. Now, I’ll explain how I came across such sentiments, as painfully irritating as they (and the explanation) may be.
The above “about” comes from a blog run by this fellow. He saw our latest Duke post linked from La Shawn Barber’s site. He picked it (and the others) up en masse, in a cheesy little shot called “Predictably, a legion of right-wing bloggers have jumped on this as proof that Mary Doe, the (alleged) rape victim, is lying.”
I’m always checking Technorati, etc., for links to us and he popped up, so I went for a visit. Not my cup o’tea, but hey! It’s a free world. Then I notice that he’s lifted La Shawn’s links wholesale and never BOTHERED to read what I’d written. (If he had, he might have noticed I specifically mention NOT mentioning the victim and add that we hammer what appears to be prosecutorial misconduct/arrogance impinging the rights of the accused.) I emailed Bingley (and Miss Emily later that evening), who comes up with a very civil correction for the fellow’s comment section (which is a reading trip in it’s own right) and submits it as this:

“Thanks for the link, but if you read the post you linked to no where in it does Tree Hugging Sister say that this ‘proves’ the accuser is a ‘liar.’ In fact no where does she state that this women is a liar; she merely points out, correctly, that this report casts somewhat of a pall on the accuser’s credibility. Further, if you look here you’ll see that she hammers what appears to be prosecutorial misconduct/arrogance impinging the rights of the accused. I’m not sure why politics enter into this, but if this makes us ‘right-winged’ then I suppose we’re guilty as charged.
With regard to the pdf report you linked to, you are correct in that it appears Officer Day never heard the lady make these charges; however, now that I’ve got the crick out of my neck from trying to read it (it took me several minutes to think to print it out) it does reference a “Lt. Best” who “stayed at the Emergency Department to gather information from the victim.” I believe it’s reasonable to assume that this is the source for “The victim changed her story several times…” and I look forward to hearing his/her testimony if and when this case moves to a trial.”

Only it never shows up. Thinking it was a spam filter, neither of us gives it a second thought until I check again to see if it’s on there. It’s not. But this little fascist gem IS:

****PLEASE NOTE****
The comments on this post are for feminist and pro-feminist posters only. If you’re not a feminist and you want to leave a comment, please use the identical post on Creative Destruction instead.

Don’t you just love them? They all live in a happy socialist basement together like a demented Bob Ross painting. In their world, I guess one is free to mischaracterize posts at will and, while they have a comment section, it’s only for drivel-driven, fatuous v-word examinations of the most delusional, self important, “how-do-I-live-with-how-clever-I-am” congratulatory ilk. Like I said, drivel. But it is, for whatever reason, a pretty popular site that feels it’s okay to hose someone and not be held accountable, or allow a rebuttal, all the while selling poppies in the square for the ACLU and Darfur relief. Pretentious twits.
And I’m pissed.

Praise Xenu!

For in addition to making MI3 tank he works other miracles:

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – A wheelchair-bound Los Angeles woman, who has repeatedly filed lawsuits over access for the disabled, got up and ran after police arrested her for fraud, authorities said on Thursday.
Laura Lee Medley, 35, had sued in at least four California cities over injuries she claimed she sustained while trying to navigate her wheelchair before she was suspected of fraud.

It’s a miracle!

Why I Love Being Married To An Academic, Part LCMXVIII

Me (in 5:28 am getting ready for work mode): shuffle-shuffle
Bride (in classes-are-over-and-I’m-all-done-with-grading-exams-sleepyhead mode): “H-h-honey, why are you getting up so early? Oh yeah, it’s Friday” (smiles and retreats under the covers)
sigh.

Breaking News

Our crack investigative reporting has discovered this photo of ‘Grizzly’ Summers in action:

That’s Just Great

China and US may establish military hotline
Beijing and Washington are moving towards establishing a hotline between their defence ministries and have agreed to step up military exchanges, Chinese state media said on Thursday.

I can hear the conversation now…

Rumsfeld: “F*ck you and the rickshaw you rode in on!”
Gen Cao: “Oh yeah?! Well, fr*ck you, too!”
Rumsfeld: “Very good then. Same time?”
Gen Cao: “Same Peeper’s Repubric Station!”
Rumsfeld: “Oh God, you kill me when you do that!”
Both: “Hah haha haha haha!”
Click

NOW This Stinks

…like a SEVEN DAY OLD mullet and I mean reeks.

A Durham police detective investigating the Duke University lacrosse case arrested an alibi witness Wednesday on a 2 1/2-year-old misdemeanor warrant.
Taxi driver Moezeldin Elmostafa said Investigator R.D. Clayton and another officer asked whether he had anything new to tell them about the rape case before driving him to the Durham County jail. He said no and was held for five hours, until a friend posted his bail on a shoplifting charge.
Ernest Conner, a Greenville lawyer who represents defendant Reade Seligmann, said the cabbie’s arrest amounted to intimidation. “It appears to me they are trying to pressure a witness who supports our defendant’s rock-solid alibi,” Conner said.

This is gonna make one hell of a Law and Order episode.
All I can add is “don’t get yerself arrested for speeding in Durham.” It’s like the Hotel California there.
NOTE: Our earlier post notes Mr. Elmostafa’s evolving story.

To Save Russia, Putin Declares the People Must…

Get Laid!

Well, okay. More “be fruitful and multiply”, but that takes ‘getting laid‘, right? So, really, that’s what the man meant.

Hey! Did You happen to See…

…the CRANKIEST effin’ bear in the WORLD?! Well, they found him.

DNA Tests Confirm Bear Was a Hybrid
Northern hunters, scientists and people with vivid imaginations have discussed the possibility for years.
But Roger Kuptana, an Inuvialuit guide from Sachs Harbour, Northwest Territories, was the first to suspect it had actually happened when he proposed that a strange-looking bear shot last month by an American sports hunter might be half polar bear, half grizzly.
Territorial officials seized the creature after noticing its white fur was scattered with brown patches and that it had the long claws and humped back of a grizzly. Now a DNA test has confirmed that it is indeed a hybrid – possibly the first documented in the wild.

I’m curious who met who where for the rendezvous that created this fellow. I don’t blame her for fallin’ for him, though ~ the big, bad bears among us are often the most seductive.

This Seems an Odd Rule to Me

People buying wine or whiskey will not face the same requirement. Beer sales are traditionally regulated locally in Tennessee, while liquor sales are regulated by the state. Beer cannot be sold in the same stores that sell wine and liquor.

It’s usually wine/beer “sold here”. With liquor, it’s stricter.