Happy Birthday Warren Zevon

I saw Chuck Norris walking with the Queen

doing the Werewolves of Jersey…

RIP

(via Tim’s Cowbell)

Eric Holder’s Priorities

According to one of his Assistant Attorney Generals

“Although the state has a legitimate interest in preventing SAT fraud and safeguarding test-taker confidence … the state’s submission did not include any evidence or instance of either in­-person test impersonation or any other type of fraud that is not already addressed by the state’s existing SAT identification requirement and that arguably could be deterred by requiring student to present only photo identification at the polls,” he wrote.

So Holder has struck done New York’s discriminatory SAT-ID law on the basis that it places an “unfair burden” on certain minorities and that

“We need – and the American people deserve – testing systems that are free from discrimination, free from partisan influence, and free from fraud,” said Holder.

Remember: you need to show ID to write a check, deposit a check, withdraw money from the bank, get molested by TSA, buy a pack of cigarettes and take the SAT.

But not to vote.

Shat!

It’s the past participle of “butt particle” right?

Then she thought shat if you aimed an infrared light at the tumors to melt the polymer and release the medicine, thus killing the cancer cells while leaving healthy cells completely unharmed.

CBS News: The Professionals.

Via Insty.

Guys, Seriously, Buck Up

I think you’re being way over sensitive here

Minister Vayalar Ravi termed the gag by “The Tonight Show” host as “quite unfortunate and quite objectionable” and said the Indian embassy in Washington would raise the issue, the Press Trust of India reported on Monday.

In a dig at Mr Romney’s privileged background during a show last week, Leno used a photo of the ornate Sikh shrine in the northwestern Indian city of Amritsar during a segment on the vacation homes of US Republican presidential candidates.

Angry members of the Sikh community in the US circulated an online petition protesting the “derogatory depiction” of the Golden Temple, adding that “Jay Leno’s racist comments need to be stopped right here”.

It’s not a bad gag by Leno, really. The proper response to this is to just laugh at them, but I’m sure NBC will issue some mealy-mouthed response saying “we apologize for any offense”.

Whereas I’d just say “I’m sikh of people with no sense of humor!”

Smart Power!

Hey, how’s that Arab Spring working out?

CAIRO (AP) – Final results on Saturday showed that Islamist parties won nearly three-quarters of the seats in parliament in Egypt’s first elections since the ouster of authoritarian president Hosni Mubarak, according to election officials and political groups.

The Islamist domination of Egypt’s parliament has worried liberals and even some conservatives about the religious tone of the new legislature, which will be tasked with forming a committee to write a new constitution. It remains unclear whether the constitution will be written while the generals who took power after Mubarak’s fall are still in charge, or rather after presidential elections this summer.

In the vote for the lower house of parliament, a coalition led by the fundamentalist Muslim Brotherhood won 47 percent, or 235 seats in the 498-seat parliament. The ultraconservative Al-Nour Party was second with 25 percent, or 125 seats.

Shroud the pyramids, infidels!

Note to Matt Drudge

You need the other Manning’s picture in your “Super Rematch” Manning/Brady front o’ the page photo there, bud.

The guy with the white helmet and blue horse’s hoof print isn’t going to the game. His little brother is.

Duh.

Normally I’d Say, “Oooo! THAT’LL Leave a Mark”

But you have to be able to feel something for that to be true.

It’s a waste of breath in President Numbnuts’ case.

Brazil Stiffs Obama on Oil Deal, Exposing President’s Incompetence

President Barack Obama has suffered the second embarrassment over oil imports within the space of a week. Brazil, whose offshore deposits of oil were sought by the Obama administration, has signed contracts with China for the product.

According to the Washington Times, Brazilian offshore crude may number about 38 billion barrels. Obama went to Brazil last month to put in a bid for the oil, offering loans and other support to develop the oil in an “environmentally responsible matter,” The Hill reported at the time. Republicans criticized that initiative, pointing out Obama has placed roadblocks in the way of domestic development of oil and gas reserves.

Hellava job he’s doing there…here…pretty much everywhere. And lucky effin us.

$6 a gallon gas…zoomzoom.

A Treat For Our Honored Guests

Straight from the Monkey’s Butt

O_o

**eyeroll**

Brian Kilmeade. When he just. Can’t. TAKE. HER. ANY. MORE!!!!!!

A Worry

We’ve finally got some snow, and as it’s a Saturday I just put some beans-a-soaking to make some cassoulet. I’m using black beans, though, instead of the “proper” white ones and I’m more than a little afraid the Gourmand Patrol™ will come and take away my Jacques Pepin Decoder Ring…

ths update: From an equally snow-bound Kcruella, to help you get through it:

Circus Peanut

Equal parts: Pinnacle whipped vodka
99 Bananas
French vanilla creamer
dash of grenadine for color

Chill, shake and serve

Had “Bingley” written all over it with that ghastly name.

Bingley Update: Turned out rather tasty, if I do say so myself

especially with the bacon/romano biscuits

If a Disgruntled Homewrecker’s Bitter Spewings Are So Vital to National Security and Informed Consent of the Governed That the Media Feels We MUST NEEDS Be Subjected

…to her rehashing of ancient marital ills, then an equal point of “openness” and “informed citizenry”/”danger danger danger” could be made towards yet another request that The Los Angeles Times FINALLY release the 2003 Obama/Rashid Khalidi videotape, squirreled away in their vaults since 2008, eh?

…However, of greater importance in my view is the silence, save for a few journalists and pundits on the right, regarding exposing a videotape recorded in 2003 of Barack Obama at the farewell dinner for terrorist-supporting Palestinian Rashid Khalidi. News of the videotape’s existence came to light while Obama was a candidate, and the free pass given to him by the mainstream media was only just beginning to come to light when the enamored Chris Matthews’ shared news of the tingle up his leg.

While the birthers’ demands did draw some media attention, it was mostly negative and only made fun of the supposedly crazy loons on the far right who apparently were representative of all petty and irrational conservatives. No one seemed to notice that Obama had not written a single article while serving as editor of The Harvard Law Review, and no one pressed the issue of Obama’s suppressed college and law school transcripts since it was a given that his brilliance was perhaps surpassed only by the likes of Albert Einstein.

But there is a videotape sitting in the vaults of the Los Angeles Times, and every American should be screaming from the rooftops for its release…

According to accounts Roger Simon has gathered of the evening, it was very, shall we say, “Palestinian-centric” and an aspiring presidential candidate’s reaction/lack there-of to some of the purported inflammatory (no Molotovs attached THIS time) rhetoric…oh, well gosh. Could be problematic if viewed from the wrong perspective ~ like, anybody who wasn’t a Jihadi and supported Israel, schmaybe? Or your normal red-blooded American who hated poetry…

…And? Well, that’s about it. Wellsten doesn’t tell us much more from the videotape or the party other than:

“a young Palestinian American recited a poem accusing the Israeli government of terrorism in its treatment of Palestinians and sharply criticizing U.S. support of Israel. If Palestinians cannot secure their own land, she said, “then you will never see a day of peace.”

One speaker likened “Zionist settlers on the West Bank” to Osama bin Laden, saying both had been “blinded by ideology.”

So, think ~ visualize what The Dreamy, Cool, Distant One’s face was like as the “youth” recited his stanza. Of course you have to “imagine”, because his Praetorian Guard has ensured you won’t get to check your creative powers against the real thing.

Shoot. Is the tape even in existence any more? Accidents do happen.

Well, they have a way of happening.

Attempting to torpedo Newtie (who, by the way, is PERFECTLY capable of torpedoing himself and has REPEATEDLY) over Number One homewrecker’s ancient dreck about Number Two Homewrecker, when we’re ALL agreed Newtie’s a humongous ego and massive turd personally (We didn’t know this?), yet someone sits at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue this very minute and no one has ever even heard an interview with an old girlfriend, or read a single college paper he wrote. And he’s a genius.

And he’s golden tongued like Daniel Webster, so there should be a trail of tapes, interviews and moments a mile wide of this young fellow blazing his way through the cornfields and boroughs of America, especially in THIS day and age, culminating in his ascension to that most American of aspirations: the White House.

But really, nobody knows Jack about Barack. Oddest thing, that.

The Stupid Is Strong In This One

It goes deep to the bone

DRAPER, Utah (CBS Las Vegas) – One Utah school district believes a cougar mascot would be insensitive to women.

The Canyons School District overrode the students top choice of a cougar mascot for their high school that is to be completed in 2013.

Would-be Corner Canyon High School students chose the Cougars as their mascot — a name principal Mary Bailey said carries an ugly connotation that is disrespectful to women.

Please note the definition in the very next sentence that Mary Bailey says “carries an ugly connotation and is disrespectful to women”

In popular culture, the cougar is a sexually aggressive middle-aged woman who attracts younger men.

I’m just not seeing either the ugly connotation or the disrespect here. Maybe it’s me. Hell, I’m sure it is.

So what did these defenders of democracy declare by fiat over the name the students voted for?

The school board, which consists of six men and one woman, thought the Charger would be more appropriate, which was on the ballot but failed to appeal to students as the cougar had.

Charger. As in, you know, a woman who spends too much time at the mall or on Amazon and uses her credit card so much that she’s memorized the numbers. How demeaning.

I have a suggestion.

Maybe they should choose a truly safe, pure, non-hurtful name.

Like “Biatch”.

DAMMIT!!! WHY the PACKERS LOST: major dad Told Me to Wear Sparkle Nails and My Aaron Rogers Jersey, Too!!

But guess what?!?

He KNEW all I have is a BREESUS JERSEY!!!

BASTARD!!

And now even Clay Matthews is blaming sparkles and, luckily for me, THIS poor girl.

Why SOPA and It’s EE-Ville Cousins MUST Die

Because parodies like this ~ and even though “technically” protected free speech ~ that ruin the beloved classics of one’s dissolute youth are BLOCKED in states like Florida, thank you Sony, et al.

You are welcome to find the cat-who-circumvents-the-censors-free version somewhere if your state will let you watch it.

Meh

The Queen Mum’s “Happy Birthday” warbling corgis are mucho betteroso…and a helluva lot cheaper.

The Perfect Summation Of Obama’s Economic Wisdom

Do I think this Keystone Pipeline is the greatest Economic Boost Evuh? Of course not, and I think that there may be some serious Kelo-related issues for it to even get built.

But to me the importance of this is it has forced Obama to play his cards instead of petulantly snooting from the sidelines, to choose between private sector growth or government growth, between independence or dependence.

He could not resist the latter, of course.

His “shot” at Republicans should be played and repeated by every single Republican candidate this year, for it clearly and unequivocally states his guiding philosophy:

“However many jobs might be generated by a Keystone pipeline,” he said, “they’re going to be a lot fewer than the jobs that are created by extending the payroll tax cut and extending unemployment insurance.”

That’s right. In his mind the Government paying people unemployment insurance creates more jobs than private industry.

Good God.

Thanks

Had a wonderful day yesterday: Daughter volunteered to buy us pizza for my burfday dinner.

And naturally took $40 out of my wallet to do so.

Ebola Will Love THIS Ron Paul Endorsement

@CAIRNational
CAIR National

#Election2012: Muslims Say #RonPaul Is Their Kind of Republican http://huff.to/wtxZVK via @huffingtonpost #MuslimsVote

Yeah. Revolting organization with terrorist ties endorses tinfoil hat whackjob from Planet Ronulus who wants Imadinnerjacket to have the bomb, besides blaming America for everything since the War of the Roses.

Here’s a concept children: don’t vote for the old fraud.

Now, THAT’S a Revolution.

“Hi, My Little Bennie Baracky PenPal Friend!”

“I can’t wait to see you soon, too!“

And ZZIIINNNGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boehner: Obama approved Solyndra, not Keystone

House Speaker John Boehner said that President Obama has put politics ahead of job creation, and faulted the president for approving the high-risk Solyndra loan guarantee, but then denying a permit for the Keystone XL pipeline to be built.

“President Obama expedited approval of the Solyndra loan project, but won’t approve a project that’s been under review for over three years,”

House Speaker John Boehner said in a press conference today on Obama’s decision not to grant a permit for the Keystone pipeline, after declaring that “President Obama is destroying tens of thousands of American jobs and shipping American energy security to the Chinese.”

THAT RIGHT THERE, ladies and germs, needs to be on the lips of EVERY Republican candidate, over and over, ad NAUSEUM.

Quit snarking at each other and get on top of the tattered ECONOMY and this JOB KILLING, COUNTRY DESTROYING SUM BITCH!

UPDATE: Well, of course.

“The Republicans made me do it!!!

What a P-word this douchebag is.

And WHY Is Bingley SO Concerned With Nanny Bloomberg’s Pants Peeking Police?

Because they MIGHT SNIFF OUT HIS SECRETED…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BINGLEY CAKE!!!

…and take it away.

After all, he is a notorious and somewhat questionable looking character, well known in international circles.

They’ve been after him for years…

Constitution-Schmonstitution

These words

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

mean less and less every day

NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) – The NYPD is stepping up their war against illegal guns, with a new tool that could detect weapons on someone as they walk down the street.

But is it violating your right to privacy?

Police, along with the U.S. Department of Defense, are researching new technology in a scanner placed on police vehicles that can detect concealed weapons.

…It’s called Terahertz Imaging Detection. It measures the energy radiating from a body up to 16 feet away, and can detect anything blocking it, like a gun.

The Nanny State and Chief Nanny Bloomberg can frankly kiss my ass in Macy’s window. This is a blatant violation of our rights.

Oh, wait, I forgot: they’re “doing it for the children.”

Coercion

People don’t realize this but the root of that term is actually found in the Greek word for “volunteer”

(Reuters) – Greek Prime Minister Lucas Papademos said he will consider legislation forcing the country’s creditors to take losses on their holdings if no agreement can be reached in critical negotiations set to resume on Wednesday, the New York Times reported.

…Papademos said that if Greece did not receive 100 percent participation in a program in which bondholders would voluntarily write down $130 billion from Greece’s $450 billion debt, the country would consider passing a law to require the holdouts to take losses.

Seriously, why would anyone, anywhere, ever ever consider lending any of these countries a dime again?

Obviously politicians will quite merrily throw your tax dollars at them; that’s a given.

My Morning

Captured via the secret BingleyCam

Train Surfing

Just got a little more…dodgy

Railway staff in Indonesia have started hanging concrete balls above train tracks in a bid to prevent commuters from riding on carriage roofs.

They want to prevent this

so they’re hanging these

Ouch.

I guess this is one mode of commuting I’ll pass on.