The White House is Closed, But Yale Still Got $384,949 to STUDY “Sexual Conflict, Social Behavior and Evolution”


That’s the NEW name of the study, because the OLD name just didn’t…singif you get my drift.

$384,949 Federal Study Looks at ‘Plasticity in Duck Penis Length’

The National Science Foundation (NSF) has awarded a $384,949 grant to Yale University for a study on “Sexual Conflict, Social Behavior and the Evolution of Waterfowl Genitalia”, according to the website.

The grant description says,“The project examines how reproductive morphology covaries with season, age, and social environment in a diverse sample of duck species that differ in ecology, territoriality and breeding system.”

The grant was made available through the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, better known as the stimulus package.

The project has been receiving money from the NSF since 2009 and is slated for funding through July of this year.

“In the last quarter, we have prepared a manuscript for submission on the results of the first two years of experiments on social phenotypic plasticity in duck penis length in Lesser Scaup and Ruddy Duck. Experiments continued on genital social phenotypic plasticity in Mandarin Duck and Laysan Teal,” a 2010 fourth quarter update on the study says.

Many duck penises are cork-screw shaped and some scientists believe this is because of a form of evolution known as “sexual conflict.

Duck. Dicks.


Being Known as an Inveterate Bargain Hunter, Collector of One-Too-Many Bowls and Occasional Ding BAT

…I can semi relate to the owner of this garage sale little prize.

Bowl bought for $3 sells for more than $2 million at NY auction

A New York family scored a huge payday when a small bowl, which they bought at a garage sale for $3, turned out to be a 1,000-year old Chinese piece that sold for $2.2 million at Sotheby’s yesterday. The family bought the rare bowl at the secondhand sale in 2007, and kept it sitting on their mantle for years, the auction house said.

…He beat four other bidders for the Northern Song dynasty bowl — known as a Ding bowl — which dates back to the 10th or 11th century.

But it doesn’t make no never mind any way. Unbesmirched things crack, chip, break and stain the second they hit my house as it is, leaving us to sing, “Don’t mean it’s not Ming if it ain’t got a ding! Doowop, doowop, doowop, doowop, bop!

IF This IS the Man You Were Looking For

then you might want to buy a ticket to the Auld Sod.

Scotland may allow Jedi to perform marriage ceremonies

The Force is strong with the Jedi in Scotland. The Free Church of Scotland is pushing a bill that would grant those who have literally made “Star Wars” a religion the power to perform marriage ceremonies.

The BBC reports that the Marriage and Civil Partnership Bill would apply to other nonreligious groups such as the Flat Earth Society and the Jedi Knights Society, aka Temple of the Jedi Order.

And while it may sound like a joke to most, the Jedi religion is quite popular in some parts of Europe. In England, it is the second-most popular “alternative religion,” with more than 175,000 people listing themselves as Jedi in the 2012 nationwide census.

“Our current consultation covers not only the introduction of same-sex marriage but also the detail of important protections in relation to religious bodies and celebrants, freedom of speech and education,” a Scottish government spokeswoman said.

“At the moment, marriage ceremonies by bodies such as humanists have been classed as religious, even though the beliefs of such organizations are nonreligious.”
The move might be seen as a tad ironic, even among “Star Wars” enthusiasts, seeing as the actual Jedi in the “Star Wars” saga are typically not allowed to marry.

Cypriot Games

Come all you big spenders
And list while I sing
Your lust for my savings
Is a terrible thing
It banishes truth and
Sets countries aflame
As people they wise to
Your Cypriot Games

The Cyprus government is in crisis talks to come up with a plan to secure an emergency bailout package to shore up its banks and avert financial meltdown.

On Tuesday night, parliament threw out a controversial plan to skim €5.8bn (£5bn) from savings accounts, in a move that risked plunging the eurozone into deeper turmoil and heightened expectations that the cash-strapped country would seek a funding lifeline from Russia.

…With the crisis escalating, an RAF flight carrying €1m in low-denomination notes landed in Cyprus to provide cash for 3,000 British service personnel based there. With local banks shut since Friday and electronic transactions halted, although cash machines are working, the Ministry of Defence said the euros had been flown in as “contingency measure”.

…”We have some ideas. We are thinking of nationalising the pension funds and provident funds of the state employees,” Mavrides said. “That is about €2bn-€3bn, and we do have some other ideas which will come up in the next few days.”

Really, the governments have been such good stewards of our funds so far that it just makes perfect sense to allow them to take everything.

For our own good, of course.

I Should Apply For Federal Funds

After all, I clearly am an “internationally recognized expert in the area of alcohol use among bloggers”

( – The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has awarded $2.7 million to study why lesbians are at a higher “risk for hazardous drinking.”

The University of Illinois has received grants since 2009 for its project, “Cumulative Stress and Hazardous Drinking in a Community of Adult Lesbians,” which aims to develop “culturally sensitive” strategies to prevent lesbians from being drunks.

…The study is being led by Tonda Hughes, professor at the Department of Health Systems Science at the University of Illinois, an “internationally recognized expert in the area of alcohol use among lesbians,” according to the University.

Gosh, that Sequester is causing such hardship!

Oh Lord

Those poor souls

Reuters) – Seven Marines were killed and seven others were wounded in an explosion that occurred during a training exercise at a military facility in western Nevada, a military spokesman said on Tuesday.

The blast at Hawthorne Army Depot, a military ammunition storage facility, took place late Monday during a Marine training exercise.

$19.4 Trillion

Guess who thinks you may need some “help” managing it?

The U.S. Consumer Financial Protection Bureau is weighing whether it should take on a role in helping Americans manage the $19.4 trillion they have put into retirement savings, a move that would be the agency’s first foray into consumer investments.
“That’s one of the things we’ve been exploring and are interested in in terms of whether and what authority we have,” bureau director Richard Cordray said in an interview. He didn’t provide additional details.

The bureau’s core concern is that many Americans, notably those from the retiring Baby Boom generation, may fall prey to financial scams, according to three people briefed on the CFPB’s deliberations who asked not to be named because the matter is still under discussion.

“Fall prey to financial scams”

Like, say, the Government.

They are all whores and thieves.

We used to shoot horse thieves, didn’t we?

They will do everything they can to steal that $19.4 trillion dollars from you.

In the name of ‘helping you’, of course.


‘Cause Obama don’t want nobody to see his beautiful house.

“HIS” beautiful house. Outta the mouths of babes.

What an asshole he is.

During the Heat of an Argument, Some People Go a Little Overboard

…trying to illustrate the whole I’m outta here/set me free technique of ending hostilities.

Police: Pa. Prison Guard Shoots Off Finger To Remove Wedding Ring

PITTSBURGH (AP) — A federal prison guard has been charged with shooting his own finger in a drunken attempt to remove his wedding ring during an argument with his wife at their northwestern Pennsylvania home, police said.

A criminal complaint said Bradford police were called just before 9 p.m. March 2 and were met by Alfredo Malespini III, 31, who told officers he was “trying to get rid of his wedding ring” and decided to “shoot it off.” The Bradford Era first reported the shooting on Friday.

Obviously it’s worse when you miss the point of the exercise completely…

…The gunshot badly mangled Malespini’s finger, but didn’t remove the ring, police said.

Some things were obviously just meant to be.

Quote Of The Day

It marks the first time that the IMF and the 17 eurozone nations have dipped into people’s savings to finance a bailout, a move that analysts worry may roil international markets and jeopardize Europe’s fragile economy.

They are thieves.

They should be treated as such.

“I Do Not Believe I Heard Your Name, Tall Man”

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day!

I Want To Bear Ted Cruz’s Love Child

Watch and enjoy as he rips Feinstein a new one.

Did you know she’s “seen bullets that implode”?

Cardinal Dolan

Pope Francis could be a handful:

9.37 John Bingham reports:
It looks like the 76-year-old Pope is going to keep his minders on their toes. He started his pontificate with a ride on a bog standard minibus instead of a special car. He is reported to have nipped out into Rome last night. And this morning he was up with the lark and scooted half-way across the city to pray at the Papal basilica of St Mary Major, taking even the dominicans by surprise. There are already comparisons being made with John XXIII whose reign was expected to be a quiet affair but ended up revolutionising the church.

This could be fun.


…calling BULLSHIT on the comet sighting.

Two nights of freezing our tookusses off, seaching the skies.

Got bupkis.

We Have An Answer

WHITE SMOKE at the Vatican!!!

New Pope!!

Who? Who?

Bergoglio from Argentina!! Woot!

Heard In A Mall In Akron, Ohio Last Week

Tight white trousers is such a winning look.

Breaking: Our First View Of Obama’s Budget Proposal

Oh wait, sorry, this can’t be Obama’s, for this actually shows people figuring a way to climb out of it…

This Is Not the Senate Budget You Were Looking For

Or maybe it is.

Patty Murray budget: $1 trillion in new revenue

Sen. Patty Murray’s new budget plan will raise tax revenues by nearly $1 trillion while cutting spending by the same amount over the next decade, according to people familiar with the proposal.

The Budget Committee chairwoman plans to brief fellow Democratic senators over the new proposal in a closed-door lunch Tuesday that President Barack Obama is also scheduled to attend. Committee deliberations will begin Wednesday, and the panel expects to vote on the plan Thursday before floor debate next week.

Typical Obama Democrat ~ more of OUR money out and not a damn thing gained.

Should work like a charm.

Clowns. Ruled by clowns.

Somebody’s Waiting

For his bestest buddy


a certain Daughter


to get home for Spring Break


What If Obama Pardoned the Sequester and Sent It to Portugal?

It could happen. It could, duh.

Grilled Tuna

It’s what’s for dinner


(though some prefer sushi)


Dang, Now I’m Hungry

His restaurant is only a few miles away…

Zombie Claude


Clean The Rugs, Human


I’ll let you move the table back later.

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