Speaking of Ass Kissers: The Democratic Governor of Florida

…was on “Face the Nation” this morning, facing off against the two Republican Gulf governors:

[Crist] “If this spew in middle of the Gulf of Mexico doesn’t tell us we need to be more cautious and more careful about doing this in the future, I don’t know what else would,” Crist said. “I mean, we don’t have these rigs off the Florida coast. We are suffering from the one off the Louisiana coast. It troubles me greatly that that’s occurring.

“That’s why I think this is the greatest wake-up call ever that we need to go to alternative fuel. We need to have cleaner fuel for our people. That will create greater independence and stop sending so much money over to the Middle East.”

13 minutes in, or so.

If this spew coming from Charlie doesn’t tell you all you need to know about him, I don’t know what else would. Wait’ll you hear the rest when I can embed the video.

Oh, biceptular guns that are so sculpted, so strong. Breath, so sweet. A stature lean and God-like…skin silken. Eyes deep reflecting pools of ageless wisdom. But enough about me.

I DON’T see him getting any Christmas cards from Riley or Barbour.

Spam Of The Day

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I don’t know, something about “at once grab your rss feed” sounds kind of exciting, doesn’t it?

In Honor Of Our President

I offer this, the Official Wine of the MSM*

Oh wait, he said “kick“?

Never mind…

(the wine, btw, was about $9 and not all that good. It was somewhat harsh and out of kilter, with an unpleasant sour acidity and over-bitey tannins. Aren’t Ass Kissers supposed to be overly sweet?)

*Not to be confused with the Official Whine of Democrats: “It’s Bush’s Fault”

So If Captain Kick-Ass…

~ Yes, Mr. President. Even after 400 people scour the beach to keep your puddies clean, tarballs slip through. Sticky little bastards. Makes even the most mild mannered guy wanna KICK SOME ASS…

Ahem…

…the PRESIDENT…

…should saunter into our little Pensacola shop tomorrow (or Monday or Tuesday) for, say, underwear, socks, replacement slacks/khakis/jeans/spandex or some other kick-assly accoutrement after getting what he had on soaked with oil strolling our once pristine beaches…anybody got anything for him they want me to pass on?

You know.

For the nano-second before the mask slips and the ths comes out?

Down the Rabbit Hole

It’s got to be like living in a strange, strange land…just not as fun.

•In 1970, California had the 7th most educated work force of the 50 states in terms of the share of its workers who had completed high school. By 2008 it ranked 50th, making it the least educated state. (Table 1a)

•Education in California has declined relative to other states. The percentage of Californians who have completed high school has increased since 1970; however, all other states made much more progress in improving their education levels; as a result, California has fallen behind the rest of the country. (Table 1b)

•The large relative decline in education in California is a direct result of immigration. Without immigrants, the share of California’s labor force that has completed high school would be above the national average.

•There is no indication that California will soon close the educational gap. California ranks 35th in terms of the share of its 19-year-olds who have completed high school. Moreover, one-third (91,000) of the adult immigrants who arrived in the state in 2007 and 2008 had not completed high school.2

•In 1970 California was right at the national average in terms of income inequality, ranking 25th in the nation. By 2008, it was the 6th most unequal state in the country based on the commonly used Gini coefficient, which measures how evenly income is distributed. (Tables 2a and 2b)

•California’s income distribution in 2008 was more unequal than was Mississippi’s in 1970. (Tables 2a and 2b)

•While historical data are not available, we can say that in 2008 California ranked 11th highest in terms of the share of its households accessing at least one major welfare program and 8th highest in terms of the share of the state’s population without health insurance. (Tables 3 and 4)

•The large share of California adults who have very little education is likely to strain social services and make it challenging for the state to generate sufficient tax revenue to cover the demands for services made by its large unskilled population.

Where do you even start to fix it? I guess letting anybody into the primary’s as good as the next thing, eh? Well, besides boycotting Arizona.

Via The Corner, thanks to a sharp-eyed major dad.

A Public Service Announcement ~ If You Be Likin’ d’ Snappah or d’ Groupah?

Best be buyin’ it NOW, ’cause ‘tween the greasey gooey, oily mess on MY side of Florida and what they just voted to do on the Atlantic side? That price is going through the roof, if you’re lucky enough to even find it.

Council votes to close snapper and grouper fishing off Florida
Massive closure could take effect in December

…The ban area covers 4,827 square miles, from just north of the Florida-Georgia border to southern Brevard County, in waters from 98 feet to 240 feet deep.

Our local guys tell us that there’s more snapper and grouper than you can shake a stick at already, and these bans had really crippled our charter industry long before BP started belching crude. But now, if you take the Atlantic out of it, too? Gad zookerdoodles ~ it’s going to be devastating economically and boy, oh boy ~ nobody can handle that right now.

Oh, WTF, people! Let’s all switch to those little poo-eating tilapia, why don’t we?

Considering what the administration’s been serving up on a regular basis, it’s getting hard to differentiate.

I Am So Not Showing This To My Bride

So we’re having fun over at Laura’s talking about ways we’ve tried to bump off creatively interact with our siblings and THS points out this news story to me

A Center Point woman who says she accidentally stabbed her brother to death while she was doing the dishes will not be charged with any crime, authorities said today.

…The sister told investigators her brother came up behind her and startled her.

“She quickly turned around and the knife went in his chest,” Christian said.

What scares me is I’m sure my Bride would be able to explain how she was so startled by me that the knife went in…seven or eight times.

Here’s Ribeye In Your Eye

A couple of weeks ago Cullen and I were talking about meat, glorious meat, and I mentioned how I liked to buy big chunks o’cow at Costco and divvy them up into the freezer for gluttotudonous acts to be named later.

So naturally I went out to Costco and got me some Ribeye (instead of the usual NY Strips. What can I say? I’m all about diversity, people)

(yeah, I took the pics a few weeks ago; I’m a little behind on my food’n’booze postings)

Ah, 16 pounds of tasty boneless cow…and ain’t you a big fella?

Actually, too big for my cutting board, so let’s chop you in half to make things a tad more manageable. (And I will complain again about this Nikon S220 which is CRAP. I hate these grainy, noisy shots. I keep letting Daughter borrow the camera and my fervent hope is that she drops it but NO she keeps being responsible. Damn.)

This is just Choice, but look at that beautiful marbling…

Now since this half is roughly 8 pounds it’s real easy to mark out 8 steaks-to-be of approximately 1 pound each

and slicey slice slice

we start getting our little tasty beauts that will need to be trimmed of course and – what?

Anyhow, soon enough we get a nice stack of eight steaks

And trim away all of the excess fat and meaty bits around the edges. If you’re not the neatest person in the world, and I sure ain’t, sometimes meaty bits will tragically hit the floor

It’s good to keep your vacuum handy.

Anyhoo, soon you easily end up with sixteen delicious steaks

which get vacuum packed in 4 groups of 3 and 2 of 2 by Mr. Ziplock

Which we will start “disposing” of shortly…

“You Should Pay More Taxes”

So sayeth the Hillamonster

US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on Tuesday urged the wealthy across the Americas to pay their “fair share” of taxes in order to eliminate poverty and promote economic opportunity for all.

…The chief US diplomat said fairer systems would ensure governments in the Western hemisphere raise the funds to pave the way for competitive economies by boosting infrastructure as well as health and education systems.

…”But in many places, including often in my own country, the simple fact is that the wealthy do not pay their fair share of taxes. We can’t mince words about this. Levels of tax evasion are unacceptably high*,” she said.

If you earn it, they will take it.

And spend it.

‘Cos that’s “fair.”

*well, except, naturally, for people like, er, um Hillary and Bill Clinton

Update: And I do need to add that one of the things that really really really pisses me off about people who’ve made over $100 million over the past few years who say the rest of us should pay more taxes so she can live out her fantasies of outlawing rainy Saturdays and scraped knees is the fact that there is not a damned THING that has stopped her from sending Uncle Sam more of her money. Hell, after Billary paid their 31 million or so in taxes it seems to me they still had 60+ left. Why not lead by example and send in another 30 or so million? Hmmm?

I Have No Snark This Morning

My heart is breaking for Larry.

Is It Me or Are Old Folks Just Not as Cuddly

…as they used to be?

…One evening a fellow prisoner kept asking Madoff about the victims of his $65 billion scheme and Madoff, angered, said: “F*** my victims. I carried them for twenty years, and now I’m doing 150 years,” the magazine reported.

Jeez, Bernie! Lighten up!

Imagine That!?!?!

The wicked old witch Helen Thomas has just announced she’s “retiring”.

Don’t let the door hit your hateful bony ass on the way out.

Let me add what Crusader just sent:

I just wish Tony Snow were alive to see her go…….

He would have held the door for her…then slammed that sucker HARD.

Quote Of The Day

Asked if he has ever played a hole like he played the 15th on Sunday, Mickelson laughed and said, “Unfortunately, quite a few.”

I’m Not Seeing The Problem Here

Unless of course he’s being charged with not doing enough to this scum bag

TEMECULA, Calif. — An angry father is accused of using a stun gun on a 23 year old man who sent his 17 year old daughter an explicit cell phone picture.

William Atwood Sr., 45, was charged Wednesday with multiple felonies in connection with the case.

Authorities say Atwood lured Justin Moore to his home, ordered him to strip down to his boxer shorts, and tied him up and tased him with a stun gun before turning him over to a sheriff’s deputy.

Moore told authorities he sent a photo of his genitals to several friends, including Atwood’s daughter, as a joke.

A joke.

It seems to me this guy has admitted to endangering the welfare of a minor at the very least.

Mortimer Says He’s Up to His Turtle A$$ Sick of Labradorks, Tarballs, Scotties

…and the frickin’ sh*tty weather.
Now where’s his watermelon and slice o’ doggie chub?

Goddammitputmedown.

Courage

God bless them, every one.

The $68 Million Leaf Blower

As you would expect for the price it works pretty damn well

Spectators were blown “thirty feet” along the ground and battered by flying debris including branches ripped from trees by downwash from a V-22 Osprey tiltrotor landing in a park at the weekend.

I like how the guy who took the video kept filming the Osprey instead of the wimpy tumblepeopleweeds.

431,000 Jobs Added In May!!!!*

*411,000 were Census workers

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) — A flood of temporary census workers in May led to the biggest jump in jobs in ten years, the government reported Friday.

“Census workers.” Basically welfare but you have to walk around with a clipboard. And it’s a temporary job. Unlike, say, the jobs oil drilling would create

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) — The White House responded Thursday to concerns that the ban on drilling for oil in the deep waters of the Gulf of Mexico will cost the region thousands of jobs.

“The six month moratorium on deepwater drilling was instituted for a clear reason,” White House spokesman Ben LaBolt told CNN. “The President believes we must ensure that the BP Deepwater Horizon spill is never repeated.”

But Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal said that prohibiting deepwater drilling could cost the state up to 6,000 jobs this month, and 10,000 jobs over the next few months, in a letter sent Wednesday to president Obama.

Doesn’t sound like the way to get out of this economic funk to me. But what the hell do I know.

I’m all bitter and religiongunclingy-like.

Obama Furioso!

Feel the anger

Washington (CNN) — President Obama told CNN’s Larry King on Thursday that he is furious about the Gulf of Mexico oil spill, but his job is to fix things instead of just yelling at people.

So there ya’ go.

I’m sure the chill is back for Chris Matthews.

Hungary Joining The PIIGS?

The euro’s getting hit this morning on the news

LONDON—European stocks turned lower as concerns about the health of the region reemerged following some bearish comments by leading investment banks, prompting fears that an economic recovery may be derailed.

The euro sank, with traders citing official comments on Hungary’s woes and rumors of derivative problems at Société Générale.

“We won’t comment on market rumors,” a spokeswoman for France’s third-largest bank said, adding, “if we had something to say, we would have said it.”

…The Hungarian prime minister’s spokesman declined to comment on remarks by Lajos Kosa, managing vice president of Hungary’s ruling Fidesz party, that Hungary is facing a Greece-like sovereign-debt crisis and will need crisis-management measures. But the spokesman, Peter Szijjarto, said the new government won’t let the country’s economy go the same way as Greece.

The euro’s down to 1.2065 at the moment.

And people are getting wise to the fact that a goodly portion of any improvement in this morning’s job numbers may have come from the Census Department gaming the numbers.

Today’s The Day

Bikini season be damned!

To Quote Bill Paxton in “Aliens”

(As the White House seems to be relying on James Cameron’s “expertise” anyway.)

“Well, whoop dee fucking doo.”

President Obama goes one-on-one with Larry King Thursday night to talk about the oil spill, economic turmoil and war. Don’t miss the president on “Larry King Live,” 9 p.m. ET tonight only on CNN.

One-on-one. MANO a MANO with the always DANGEROUS cage fighter that IS…LARRY “the SUCK UP” King.

Kee-RYST. Takes chances, puts all his righteous RAGE and FRUSTRATION and OUTRAGEOUS OUTRAGE, PLUG THE DAMN ASSHOLEYNESS DAMNED PLUGGED HOLENESS right on the line, our President does, does he not? If I could stand to watch, I would stare until I saw a clench-ed jaw, to ascertain myself of his enragedly outraged outrage. But I can’t stomach the thought of watching, so you do it for me. Email if you see clenching.

I don’t want to use the “Game over, man” line as we’re still ON LV-426 at the moment. Obama’s our version of a wormy, verminous little Burke, Carter J./Lt. Gorman hybrid and it’s not safe to go to sleep, nor nuke the site from orbit.

Just yet.

“If” by Kipling, as Performed by

…Hopper.

A Holiday I Can Support

Via our friend Julie I’ve learned that tomorrow is National Doughnut Day.

I’m going to celebrate at a Dunkin’.

Maybe I’ll mail some crumbs to THS.

I’m thoughtful that way.

Update: And lookie what just showed up in my email-

Doughnut Day is tomorrow, June 4th. It’s a national holiday to honor The Salvation Army “doughnut lassies” who served doughnuts and coffee to U.S. troops in the trenches and on the front lines during World War I.

The Salvation Army has been supporting American troops since the Spanish-American War in 1898. That tradition continues through a variety of programs that help our service members and their families.

As always, go Salvation Army! (I forgot to mention the all-important Salvation Army link before)

Dear Sir Paul

Piss off

Later, McCartney ended the night by saying, in reference to the prize from the Library of Congress, it was good that after the last eight years, America had a president who knew what a library was.

Kind regards,

Mr. Bingley